Worst ever pick-up lines

[icedoverfire]

Hi gents,

Self explanatory: What's the worst pick-up line you've ever heard?

I heard this one @ a party at school, and I kid you not it's so horrible the girl actually went home with the guy! and not out of pity either, but mostly because he had the cojones to use it!

"Hey babes, wanna come home and see my hard drive? I guarantee you it's longer than 3 and 1/2 inches and it definitely ain't floppy!"

 

[Alacrity59]

Better still . . . what was the cheesiest pick up line that actually worked?

 

[dpm802]

I don't know about the worst or cheesiest pickup lines, but Hugh Hefner has the BEST pickup line.

He just walks up to a beautiful woman, and says "Hi, I'm Hugh Hefner."

Works every time.

 

[Prince]

I don't know about the worst or cheesiest pickup lines, but Hugh Hefner has the BEST pickup line.

He just walks up to a beautiful woman, and says "Hi, I'm Hugh Hefner."

Works every time.

 

[SmoovD]

"Don't turn around, don't make a sound and, yes, that is a gun in my pocket."

"Are you a fan of Bob Crane?"

"Have you seen my Valtrex?"

 

[arghblech]

I had an awful one that worked once.

A girl came off the dance floor at a club, stood next to me and said, "I'm hot" while fanning her face.

I said, "Well hot damn, darlin'. I'm bothered. What a pair we make" in my worst texas drawl. We had dinner the next evening

 

[Tiger]

A few years ago I was at a bar having a beer with a couple buddys when a woman came over to me and said that her friend wanted to dance with me. As I turned to look, the she explained that her friend's husband had died a few months ago and this was her first time out since.

Talk about a downer! On the other hand, how could one be so calloused to say no!

 

[thatguy1807]

Girl, you must be Jamaican, because jamaican me crazy!

 

[jones2289]

Before saying anything, walk up to the girl, lick the tip of your finger, and wipe it on her shirt sleeve.

Before she has a chance to say a word, you say: "Let's go back to my place and get you out of those wet clothes".


Yes....I've seen it done.

 

[Telecaster52]

I was told that i would look hot with dreads...

 

[MoreSaltThanPepper]

Buddy and I were wingman'ing one night.

He says to her "wow, you remind me of my sister"

Absolute silence.

She looks at me with my hand over my eyes and I manage "don't mind him, he always says stupid stuff to beautiful women".

They managed at least two more dates.

ALWAYS have a wingman.

Regards,

- John

 

[Mejnoon]

"Call me Mr. Flintstone, 'cause I can make your bed rock"

 

[moodymick]

can i get you a rohypnol and coke?

 

[ouch]

My favorite is the Ronald Reagan pick up line:

Do I come here often?

Second place, courtesy of Zaphod Beeblebrox:

Hey! Is this guy boring you? Why don't you come talk to me instead? I'm from a different planet.

 

[mdunn]

My best one, shared reluctantly with my B&B bretheren.

it worked (once)!

Spoiler

oh my, those pants are very becoming on you.

but then, if I were wrapped around those thighs, i'd be coming too

 

[BrianL]

What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

 

[dpm802]

"hey, baby ... want to go back to my place and watch me while I shave?"

 

[GFlanagan3]

"hey, baby ... want to go back to my place and watch me while I shave?"

wait that DIDN'T work???

 

[taprater]

I've seen a guy get the fire slapped out of him for using "If I was a squirrel and you were a tree, could I bust a nut in your hole."

He still had the hand print on his face the next morning after the party.

 

[Razorburne]

a few I've come across (though I promise I have never used):

1. Can I get your number 'cuz I forgot mine.

2. "Did it hurt?"...she most likely responds "did what hurt?"...."when you fell from heaven...did it hurt?"

3. Tripping on purpose in front of the woman in question...looking up and then saying, "oh, I'm sorry...........I fell for you" (yes, I've seen someone use this one and NO it did not work)

4. "Wanna go back to my place for a pizza and a f**k?" After the likely disgust/horrified reaction you follow it up with "what?.....you don't like pizza?"