Guys can be gross, according to girls.

[FarmerTan]

So this here is a 100% true story, which is rare for me. Here goes....blame my twin brother @Messygoon if you want, I was just bein' me, and he asked for this true story. I strongly encourage you to stop reading now if'n yer a sissy.

Probably, Oh, 13 years ago or so my lovely bride, who was homeskoolin' my only begotten, belonged to a co-op teaching thing, and we had a "Field Trip" to a Maple Sugar Tree Farm. There was an old picture there, over 100 years old of the original shack, and the owner took me out to see the tree in the old photo. That tree really hadn't grown that much, to be honest. All my sugar maple trees grow like weeds; this had to be what old timers around here call a Rock Maple.

Anyway, that ain't got nothing to do with anything. After you have stood around in the woods on a typical cold, damp, overcast day in Michigan's Thumb region, you are ready to go about 20 minutes after you get there.

So we drive (my wife did. I get lost on my way to the bathroom) into the nearest town to eat lunch. It was a little town, like EVERY town in the Thumb. It had one restaurant, a Pizzaria. And it smelled delicious, and it was busy.

So we go in, probably 50 people, or roughly the size of the towns population. And it's mostly to go folks, lunch time crowd I guess. And we all start grabbing seats while the women go stand in line to order pizza.

And then this one table with three clean looking people sitting at it gets up and leaves. AND THEY LEAVE three slices of pizza on the metal tray on a stand in the middle of the table! Just leave it there!

Well, y'all know I'm about 1/2 Scotch (and yes, the other half soda) so I'm not about to leave that pizza alone.

Here's the part that the War Department says is "gross"..... and a bad example for impressionable young minds. I'd been watching these clean looking people for about 5 minutes. In all that time, not one of them coughed, sneezed, or picked their teeth OR their nose.

So I grabbed a piece of the leftover pizza and commenced to eatin' it. And my bride commenced to tellin' me (loudly) how it was a bad example, and gross, etc, ad nauseam.

The boys all laughed as I recall, the girls all made gagging noises, and none of the Dad's or anyone else fought me for the pizza. I got it all, it was delicious, and it didn't kill me.

I still contend that I did nothing wrong. May have even helped save the planet. What say you all?

Have any of YOU gentlemen ever been falsely accused of being "gross?"

 

[KeenDogg]

I'm more concerned you tried to derail your own story with another story.

I wouldn't call it gross, just maybe weird or bad etiquette. If you were "in the bag", all bets are off. Food is food.

 

[Crisp Rat]

I've done the same thing before. It really bothers me seeing food go to waste. And yes, I've been judged as gross for eating old food or someone's leftovers.

 

[jmd]

Somebody's leftover Soup? Hard no.

Mashed Potatoes? Coin flip.

Pizza?

Ah. Well. I'm with her actually. Nobody died. It was delicious. Hilarity ensued. Food was not wasted. A belly got partially filled. But we simply don't eat off other people's tables in restaurants. Unless we do, I suppose. I enjoy that there are alternative points of view.

 

[Messygoon]

As twins separated at birth, you were in the right brother. We’re talking free pizza here, declared safe by a registered nurse. Practically no different than the 3 remaining pieces that would soon grace the same table space a mere 20 minutes after your group’s pizza arrived.

However, us being twins makes your lovely bride my sister-in-law. So, please don’t share this response, else I’ll be turned away from Thanksgiving dinner, and I’ll have to find a pizza joint…

I love this story! Many times food hit the floor and I violated the 5-second rule, or made bad menu selections (i.e., Rocky Mountain oysters). But none of my stories are as funny or adventurous. I bow to the man, the legend, @FarmerTan.

 

[luv2shave]

So did you tip once or twice?

Now That would move my gross meter needle !

 

[Dave himself]

Recycling at its finest

 

[JCarr]

Yeah, I wouldn't have done that. Thinking they left it for a reason. And, what if they suddenly returned?

 

[Tomo]

In my younger days I used to earn a bit of pocket money as a waiter in a fancy restaurant. It was a long time between breaks and being on your feet all day builds an appetite. Let’s just say that not all of the left over food always made it into the bin.

As long as the people were clean and there where no actual bite marks in it, I’d say it was fair game. Your only mistake was getting caught.

Just don’t go picking food out of a trash cans. The 5 second rule does not apply to trash cans.

 

[NorthernSoul]

That's one of those things that "is not done". IOW, very bad manners or you were raised wrong!


Boys will be boys is the usual excuse, so I guess your wife was on the right track.

 

[rbscebu]

I lick my plate and slurp the last of my milkshake through the straw. Girls tell me that is disgusting. Men never tell me that.

 

[tamahagane]

If you call it trespassing on private property, then you might better restrain yourself next time.

 

[kelbro]

How is that different from eating off a pizza buffet?

 

[luvmysuper]

How is that different from eating off a pizza buffet?

This.

Or any buffet restaurant for that matter.

 

[Rhody]

I’ll venture in here with a contrary opinion. It’s not akin to a buffet because it was their pizza on their table. If they left a “full” glass of water would you drink it? I agree with Mrs farmer. Gross. Plus would Mrs farmer tell us that a certain someone tell’s self serving stories or tends to leave operative facts out? I’m not suggesting that facts have been omitted here but….based on the evidence presented this was gross.

I lick my plate and slurp the last of my milkshake through the straw. Girls tell me that is disgusting. Men never tell me that.

It is only if you’re at your neighbors table.

 

[SharpieB]

How is that different from eating off a pizza buffet?

 

[luvmysuper]

It’s not akin to a buffet because it was their pizza on their table.

In fairness, this is a situational difference, not a physical one.

 

[Dave himself]

I ate a wild large rat once it was done on on wood skewers over an open fire tasted a bit like bacon only a bit saltyer I'd already are 2 when I was told what it was was. So I thought what the heck and had 3 more.

 

[FarmerTan]

I'm more concerned you tried to derail your own story with another story.

I wouldn't call it gross, just maybe weird or bad etiquette. If you were "in the bag", all bets are off. Food is food.

I think I did well in that there was only two stories going at once...

I lick my plate and slurp the last of my milkshake through the straw. Girls tell me that is disgusting. Men never tell me that.

I do this, then tell my wife, "see? Don't you love me even more for saving you from having to wash this plate?" Yeah, she thinks that's gross too.

Somebody's leftover Soup? Hard no.

Mashed Potatoes? Coin flip.

Pizza?

Ah. Well. I'm with her actually. Nobody died. It was delicious. Hilarity ensued. Food was not wasted. A belly got partially filled. But we simply don't eat off other people's tables in restaurants. Unless we do, I suppose. I enjoy that there are alternative points of view.

You obviously weren't raised poor. Or in the Thumb of Michigan! Shoot, later that day I was appointed interim Mayor of that tiny town. True story, doggone!

View attachment 1398099

Amen.

I’ll venture in here with a contrary opinion. It’s not akin to a buffet because it was their pizza on their table. If they left a “full” glass of water would you drink it? I agree with Mrs farmer. Gross. Plus would Mrs farmer tell us that a certain someone tell’s self serving stories or tends to leave operative facts out? I’m not suggesting that facts have been omitted here but….based on the evidence presented this was gross.

It is only if you’re at your neighbors table.

When have you EVER known me to present ALL the evidence? My Daddy raised me right doggone!

This.

Or any buffet restaurant for that matter.

If'n you have ever eaten at an all you can eat buffet behind an unattended 6 year old, you have lived 10x more dangerous than I did that day.

I ate a wild large rat once it was done on on wood skewers over an open fire tasted a bit like bacon only a bit saltyer I'd already are 2 when I was told what it was was. So I thought what the heck and had 3 more.

This reminds me of another story... for another day. I'd hate to derail a thread....

 

[Rhody]

In fairness, this is a situational difference, not a physical one.

Guess I Haven’t seen much pizza on buffets.