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Guys can be gross, according to girls.

It's mostly true too. As well as I remember. But the half Scotch bit I stole 40+ years ago from Robt. A. Heinlein.

Lol, who knows who he stole it from! Maybe Milton Berle?
Wow a lot going on here.

Her are my thoughts.

Are the rules in the thumb different than the rest of the country?

Yes, Famer Tans description of a cold damp overcast day in the woods and wanting to leave soon after sounds like the Midwest and it is.

Farmer tan I think its ok to steal jokes from others. Comedians do it all the time. I am surprised you remembered who you took the joke from. If a comedian busts you for stealing their joke you need to pay up.

When we lived in Tennessee for a time, we had a lady take a cheeseburger with a bite out of it. She cut the bitten part off.

If you want gross you need to eat lunch with middle schoolers at the school cafeteria. My son would describe boys stuffing a whole sandwich in their mouth at one time. My daughter had some stories as well, but they escape me now.

So I can understand why some would object to Farmer Tans pizza shenanigans it is not even close to what a middle schooler is capable of.
 

FarmerTan

"Self appointed king of Arkoland"
@Slock : I'm not sure about Tennessee, but in eastern Kentucky back in the day it was expected that a proper lady would cut off the "bit into part" of any kind of food and eat the "clean" parts.

I am often amazed on here that so few of us grew up poor. Best thing that ever happened to me. LOL, after the fact that is easy to say!
 
I don't believe most guys mature beyond 12 years of age. My wife would probably agree. If I was hungry, I would have had a go at that slice of pizza too. As a kid growing up in the 50s and early 60s, we used to take a stick and scoop up bubbling road tar to chew on. Railroads and swamps were our playgrounds. We would hop freight trains to the other side of town and back, and catch turtles in water red from leaking 55 gallon drums. What doesn't kill ya, makes you stronger.
 
Have I ever been accused of being gross? All the time.
Falsely? Most of the time. (IMO)
Have I ever eaten anything abandoned in a strangers plate? No.
Have you done something wrong? Considering that you're still here to discuss it, probably not. 🤷‍♂️ 🍕
 
Why let perfectly good pizza go to waste over some stuffy "etiquette"? It's not like they left Oysters Rockefeller and Dom Perignon on the table, and after devouring that you kicked the tuxedoed waiter out of the way and wiped your face with the linen tablecloth, right? Well done, Sir.
 

oc_in_fw

Fridays are Fishtastic!
My in laws had a beagle that would eat off anyone’s plate if they forgot to push their chair in when they left the table. That dog led a normal healthy life so I guess that’s testimony to the safety of eating second hand food. Now if you’re the kind of person that sticks the same finger into all the dressings at the salad bar to taste them that’s another story. If you use a different finger each time it makes all the difference. That’s acceptable. It’s a fine line between acceptable and gross. 😊
Left to their own devices, dogs will eat their own feces. I wouldn't want to rely on that being healthy for humans :)
 

FarmerTan

"Self appointed king of Arkoland"
Left to their own devices, dogs will eat their own feces. I wouldn't want to rely on that being healthy for humans :)
This right here is why men get married.

I ain't been left to my "own devices" since her Dad pulled that shotgun out on me!

True story doggone!
 

Doc4

Stumpy in cold weather
It's not like they left Oysters Rockefeller and Dom Perignon on the table, and after devouring that you kicked the tuxedoed waiter out of the way and wiped your face with the linen tablecloth, right?
1644598892706.png

I ain't been left to my "own devices" since her Dad pulled that shotgun out on me!

First he used it to keep you away from her ... didn't work ... then he used it to keep you with her ... guess that worked.

True story doggone.
 
I am certainly gross a lot of the time and that’s why we never invite friends over. Once you are married already there is little incentive not to be gross. You certainly cannot keep concealing your flatulence much longer than the first month of your engagement - you would surely die or at least rupture something important.

But it’s ok - all men are gross in all sorts of ways. I’m sure women understand this, and anyway they don‘t exactly have other options unless they exclude men entirely. Grown women know that real life is not like the movies. And their dads farted too. I think wives actually live for those moments when they can tut-tut about your awful behaviour - it makes them feel good about themselves by comparison, and why should we deny them that small pleasure?

So relax and be yourself. If you don’t wipe your nose on the curtains or soft furnishings you can rest assured that you are in the top quartile of eligible men, and you are above reasonable criticism.
 

FarmerTan

"Self appointed king of Arkoland"
View attachment 1408228


First he used it to keep you away from her ... didn't work ... then he used it to keep you with her ... guess that worked.

True story doggone.
You, Sir, is a prophet/soothsayer!

He was an imposing man. Ex military, ROTC in kollege, bald as an eagle.

But I miss him as much as my own dad. It says A LOT about me that he allowed me to marry his daughter. Lol, I'd have shot me on sight. Period.
 

FarmerTan

"Self appointed king of Arkoland"
Good thing I had a son. And he was easy to marry off: he actually got blessed in the random shuffle of the genes. He makes ME look homely, and that's hard to do! Trust me and my incredibly handsome face on this one.

And his newish bride is beautiful too. It's almost unfair!

I hope they breed while I still got about half my marbles left! I'd like to see if they have homely kids; we usually adopt those borderline ugly ones out.

True story doggone!
 
It's not only men. My father had a business partner whose wife considered herself to be a Southern Belle. One evening my parents, his partner, and the partner's wife (Deb) went to a fancy restaurant. I was 17 at the time. Deb is following the hostess and sees a dish she thinks looks nice. She stops at the table and asks the gentleman at the table if she can have a bite. The man looks shocked and doesn't say anything. She takes his knife and fork and cuts a piece from his meal! Deb then announces that the food was delicious and moves on. When we were finished and leaving, Deb sees a dessert she thought was interesting and wiped her finger across the plate! After that incident, my mother refused to dine at a restaurant if Deb was in the party.
 
I wouldn't. Reminds me of the guy in a bar who had an urgent need to visit the men's room. He left a note on his coaster that said, "I spit in this beer." When he got back there was a note below it saying, "So did I."
 

FarmerTan

"Self appointed king of Arkoland"
Brother @ackvil I am mostly talk (though I did eat the pizza!) but my Dad would dig himself out of the grave to kick my rear up between my shoulder blades if I pulled any tricks like Deb!

And @Mempho : In my single days I drank too much, but if I was stupid enough to leave a drink unfinished at the bar my friends would have hopefully downed the thing, or they most definitely would have done something worse to it!

As to MY behavior towards one of THEIR drinks, I'd have been the guy that wrote the second note!
 
A few months ago a fourth grader approached me on campus and she says, “ boys are weird” my response was,” yes sometimes they are. I should know I was a boy when I was younger “ her comeback,” Yes BUT you’ve come a long way sense then.” 😜
 

FarmerTan

"Self appointed king of Arkoland"
A few months ago a fourth grader approached me on campus and she says, “ boys are weird” my response was,” yes sometimes they are. I should know I was a boy when I was younger “ her comeback,” Yes BUT you’ve come a long way sense then.” 😜
That poor mistaken little girl.....

We NEVER stop being weird!
 
I’m sure women understand this, and anyway they don‘t exactly have other options unless they exclude men entirely. Grown women know that real life is not like the movies.

My brother's late partner was blind. As she used to remind him, blind didn't mean she was deaf. :)

Actually, she also used to say that she had come to rely on his noisy guts as a kind of auto-location system. She didn't have to ask if he was in the room before she started a conversation. They were together almost 25 years, so I guess it worked for them.

O.H.
 
My brother's late partner was blind. As she used to remind him, blind didn't mean she was deaf. :)

Actually, she also used to say that she had come to rely on his noisy guts as a kind of auto-location system. She didn't have to ask if he was in the room before she started a conversation. They were together almost 25 years, so I guess it worked for them.

O.H.
And if she had been deaf as well as blind she would still have had her sense of smell. Would have worked equally well.
 

TexLaw

Fussy Evil Genius
I've often said that the world would be a much better place if the whole concept of "gross" were magically purged. "Gross" tends to be used as an excuse to look down upon others, ridicule others, and close one's mind.

However, having been reminded of how deeply and beautifully "gross" contributes to our world's humor, I just might have to reconsider.
 
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