You seem like you are "ready" to me. One can over-think these things.
Here's to love!
Here's to love!
Moving in with my girlfriend?
- Thread starter Latherdude
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- #22
Thanks, everyone, for the valuable input. Indeed times are changing and this is becoming more "normal" than before. While my wise Grandma sides with some of you old-fashioned gents above, I would definitely view moving in as a step towards marriage. It's kind of why I never considered moving in with any of my past girlfriends; none of them seemed right.
Which I guess means this girl might be "the one" I've been looking for. And I'll do whatever it takes to keep her around for a long time.
And a little background on me: my parents' divorce was very difficult on me, and it came close with my mom's second marriage, too. I don't want to experience another divorce in any capacity. In a way, while that may turn some people off to the whole concept of marriage, I've also been influenced by the facts that my mom's parents were married 50 years, and my dad's 60. Surely, they were married much younger than I am, but it's about the love and commitment, not just a number.
At any rate, I guess I'd rather over-think this than under-think it, and the fact that I have such support on here and in "real life" is also quite encouraging.
Thank you all again for contributing to this discussion. And if there's anything else to add, please feel free.
Which I guess means this girl might be "the one" I've been looking for. And I'll do whatever it takes to keep her around for a long time.
And a little background on me: my parents' divorce was very difficult on me, and it came close with my mom's second marriage, too. I don't want to experience another divorce in any capacity. In a way, while that may turn some people off to the whole concept of marriage, I've also been influenced by the facts that my mom's parents were married 50 years, and my dad's 60. Surely, they were married much younger than I am, but it's about the love and commitment, not just a number.
At any rate, I guess I'd rather over-think this than under-think it, and the fact that I have such support on here and in "real life" is also quite encouraging.
Thank you all again for contributing to this discussion. And if there's anything else to add, please feel free.
I'm Latino so you marry a girl, you marry her family too. lol! Look, moving in with a girl is a big deal but not really. You have rules like at home and as long as you both communicate and grow TOGETHER, meaning sharing quality time and never ever going to bed mad. It's a big step. What is also important is you don't lose your individuality, and she lets you be yourself and accepts that and it seems you both have that. things will get ugly, but keep your cool and keep your pride in check at the right moments. I personally walk away from arguments at times to clear my head and that's the cue for her. my ex fought just to start an argument and after 18 years with my parents killing each other I was NOT in the mood for that living hell. we were just never really in love. I moved in out of necessity so it's different. But enjoy and have fun!!! be sure to keep your end financially, learn to cook and learn to give massages!!! very crucial. believe me, a class at a local city college is cheap. worth any $$$ (wink)
I have to agree with many of the previous comments. I think living with someone before marrying has many benefits. I sometimes wonder how people go from dating to married and have never lived together. I think you learn more about a person living with them for a couple months than dating a couple of years. Start packing!
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- #25
"You marry a girl, you marry her family too."
From my grandmother's mouth to your post. It is one of my core beliefs, and fortunately we get along very well.
From my grandmother's mouth to your post. It is one of my core beliefs, and fortunately we get along very well.
I totally agree. Make it official!
I don't have the stats on hand and don't want to make something up, but that's 50% of marriages ending in divorce, not 50% of those people who get married wind up getting divorced. The problem is that you have some people making repeat appearances in divorce court. My ex-wife, for example, is probably hunting for future ex-husband #5 about now, if she hasn't already passed that mark.
P
pdillon
Sounds like a good plan, as you seem to love her. If you have any serious misgivings, consider them carefully before you get yourself into a situation you may regret. Otherwise go for it!
Reason 681 To buy a Ukulele ... Girls like Ukulele players.
So, what's the split up rate for folks simply living together?
I don't know, but the cost is a lot cheaper.
What's reason number 680?
I've seen quite a few friends over the years move in with boyfriends/girlfriends and the result is almost always the same. I don't know exactly why, but it seems like these people argue more and generally behave in a much more "I can always cut my losses and leave" kind of way.
I'm 27 my wife is 25. We have been married going on four years... we didn't live together before we got married and we're getting along just fine. In part, I believe, because we made that commitment from the get-go instead of just moving in together and seeing how it turned out. I'm not saying any of that is 100% when you say "I Do" (obviously with the divorce rate), but I think there's something to be said about mentally, verbally, and on paper saying it... perhaps a little more thought involved than "I'll come over for a couple weeks and see how it goes."
THIS. The stats for first marriages are much better.
perhaps a little more thought involved than "I'll come over for a couple weeks and see how it goes."[/QUOTE said:
Just so you know, once you move in, the proposal clock will probably start ticking (say about a 1-1.5 years max). You can also expect some rocky points because you will be sharing almost everything, aka de facto marriage. As long as you can commit to the time and effort to work through those times, thing can work out great! I moved in with my then gf, now wife, a few years ago and things have turned out wonderfully.
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Congratulations. Our anniversary was a couple of weeks ago. We went out for dinner and during our main course a gent from another table tapped his glass and said said sorry for the interruption (it was a small restaurant - only 12 or so tables) but he'd like to wish his wife happy anniversary for their 34th! We're not even a third of that.
Anyway back on track. Good luck to Brian. She sounds like a good sort. There aren't many of those around.
The above idea seems a bit backwards/a "problem causer".
So, you're not just living together, you're leasing the relationship, so to speak.....?
Not quite up to a purchase (marriage), but available for a trade in/upgrade after the initial contract expires. Sort of like my iPhone deal with AT&T.
Sorry, I'm being facetious just for the sake of debate....
Consider it a free trial periodSo, you're not just living together, you're leasing the relationship, so to speak.....?
Not quite up to a purchase (marriage), but available for a trade in/upgrade after the initial contract expires. Sort of like my iPhone deal with AT&T.
Sorry, I'm being facetious just for the sake of debate....
So, you're not just living together, you're leasing the relationship, so to speak.....?
Not quite up to a purchase (marriage), but available for a trade in/upgrade after the initial contract expires. Sort of like my iPhone deal with AT&T.
Sorry, I'm being facetious just for the sake of debate....
There's some truth in there for sure...
Really seems it's easy to lose your respect for your boyfriend/girlfriend as an individual if they are basically just your roomate.
