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The heck and want to do

So first I think what I’m doing already (nothing) may be the best thing, but it’s still confusing. May seem a little unbelievable but 5.5 years ago I was single in the SF Bay Area. Was working out, very fit, dating a lot but pursuing substance and a match so put a lot of effort into finding a match.

One of my major things was being able to at least demonstrate the ability to do a 10+ mile hike or one with 1000’ of elevation gain early on.

I talked to a girl on OKcupid, she goes quick to suggesting a hike. Within 400 words of communicating had given me her full name, address, and phone number and encouraged me to take that Friday off and hike at Yosemite.

All her info was legit, found a newspaper article about her winning a marathon, seemed recently divorced with no kids.

I say screw it, took the day off, went to the address prepared for people trying to jump me, and she happily hops into the front of my car like we’ve known each other forever. We have exchanged a total of ~500 words at this point.

The drive there we talk and well, yeah. No license (got in an accident and decided to stop driving supposedly). Still hung up on alcoholic unemployed criminal ex that cheated on her a lot (only redeeming qualities was family had money and he looked like a male model). Because of no license can’t get a good job, rents a room.

So at least enjoy Yosemite and we ran to the base of half dome (didn’t have permits) passing everyone up. Nice day, drive back, know my dash cam has at least enough storage to save this conversation so get aggressive asking questions, her life is pretty much a mess, she’s a Chinese immigrant and it seems she isn’t “fully” divorced and the ex is saying false immigration as a pretense for divorce.

At this point I’m critical, point out her superficial nature, the common denominator to all her mistakes (her) question if she gets other peoples opinions and it seems she just looks for what she wants to hear so I put it bluntly and call her s****d.

She cries, I drop her off, I figure that’s that.

She calls me later and ask if I want to hike locally the next day. So I say sure, more comes out (she’s “staying“ with another guy but not intimate with him) evidently she still talks with the ex a lot so I tell her bye.

At this point we’ve done about 6k of elevation gain in 30 hours hiking.

Year later she sends me a message with just a period on Facebook. Year after she sends another message but I think they can tell when you open it so I don’t touch it.

So on Valentine’s Day this year she sent me another message. It’s been 5.5 years since those two dates, I haven’t talked to her in any capacity since, I’m married, her last name hasn‘t changed. I haven’t opened said message because Facebook. I saw the email in my inbox at work and felt physically sick.

She is attractive, fit, shouldn’t have any problem finding dates except for the baggage. Don’t want to engage her in any way to possibly push her to go past Facebook to try to reach me.

Should I be worried or is this just a good story to laugh at? It is slightly disturbing for me to have someone message me like this.
Delete, block, get off FB and continue hiking in your new life. 5 and a half years and you have made no attempt at communication or shown any interest? I think you are probably safe to confide in your wife about this. You did nothing wrong, you were searching and you quickly figured out trouble.

If this person continues, maybe consider more formal measures.
Isn’t remotely near what’s needed for a restraining order and considering it was only two dates, zero intimacy, and that was that makes it slightly concerning. Not sure mentally where she may be so a simple cease and desist with no bite may do more harm then good. She at least doesn’t come up with a criminal record still for my searches. My Facebook cannot be seen by non friends And I’m not friends with her. She does have my number and hasn’t called it and could easily figure out where I live. Don’t want to deal with her changing tactics since it’s stayed on Facebook (Almost never use it). It’s just creepy, really creepy. The first messages during the first two years were funny but this is… yeah. Covid messed up dating for a bit so it was 2 years later when I met my wife.

Shes done 4k of elevation with 30lbs on her back in an afternoon and is 5’6”
You are married and an attractive female from your past, with what appears to be Mental Health issues is contacting you out of the blue.....block her and do not interact.

If she can't take it or you are worried about her mindframe, don't be. She is not your responsibility and you have no serious past or relationship.

Br happy you found your wife and don't ever think about this woman again.
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Needs milk and a bidet!
Staff member
Thanks for finally driving me off this site. After years of Straight Razor Place and Badger and Blade, This is not what it used to be. It used to be about shaving tools and techniques, DE's and Str8s from years past and resurrecting best pratices. With information from this and a few other sites. I learned about vintage DE razors and then str8 razors. Thanks to all that contributed. This thread finally convinced me, it is time to move on and enjoy what I learned and the heck with this kind of BS.
Good day everyone and to those that really offered legitimate information, thank you.

with a rough average of 2 posts per month since 2007 I can’t say I’ll miss you. Or heck…even know who you are.

But you do know this is the Barber Shop right? Not the General Shaving forum. Folks are welcome to post here for any type of advice they want within the TOU. This clearly falls within the TOU. If you don’t like it you can choose to ignore it. There’s about 19 other forums that may suit your interests. Many of which are actually Str8s forums (whatever those are) and general shaving forums. Plenty of other opportunities to share your experiences, knowledge, gear photos, ask for help, etc.

If this single thread convinced you to finally leave after 17 years….I’m calling your bluff. You are just a curmudgeon looking for a reason.
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