I hate my brother - what does it mean?

[Iakona]

I'm going to be the first to call April fool's on this one. Posted at nearly 12:00 EST on the dot.

If I'm wrong, then I'll feel like an *** for a few days and humbly submit my apologies.

 

[Jim B.]

I hate him. He's 10 years older than me and he never really spent much time with me. He never calls me and him and his wife are sarcastic and disparaging towards me if I call them. He tells his wife lies about me and we once went three years without a word between us. I often wish he was dead and want to tell him I never want to see him again. I don't know what to do anymore.

If it will make you feel any better, my brother is a paranoid schizophrenic. He hears voices that tell him to do things that are illegal and immoral. He constantly lies because the voices tell him to. He has threatened to kill me, my wife, and my son in the past because the voices have told him that this will "save" us. I am stuck dealing with him because I am the trustee of a trust that my mother left naming him as the beneficiary.

 

[rm71]

I'm going to disagree with the advice given based on the information provided.

You're both adults. Start acting like adults.

If you don't like the way your brother and his wife are treating you, mention it to them. "You may not realize you're doing it, but it seems every time I call, I get put down with sarcastic and disparaging remarks. Can't we have a nice conversation this time without any putdowns?"

You may also want to get a family member to act as a sort of mediator. There seems to be a lot of pent up hostility, and it needs to be resolved.

Good Luck!

This ralattionship sounds very toxic. Do you want him in your life as things stand now?

If you do, have you ever calmly called him out, one on one, - no wife present; and seriously tried to resolve the problems?

If you've tried previously and are honestly sure in your heart the relationship has no possibility ...... Walk away and don't open that door.

Surround yourself with those that add value and love to your life. There's lot of good people out there, keep company with the positive & caring. Family doesn't have to be 'blood' related.

You can't make people care and people can't give what they don't have. This applies to family too.

Don't allow yourself to be treated this way but don't denigrate him, then you are behaving the same. Think of a wooden fence; either yours or someone else's. For each hurt you drive a nail into the fence. The nails can always be pulled out but it still leaves a hole. If you have any nails in your pocket with his name on them, throw them away.

Lastly, forgive him for hurting you. That will probably be the absolute most difficult to do and won't happen easily. Forgiveness is also a gift you give yourself. Wishing him dead is only hurting you.

Years ago four college kids killed my mom in a pedestrian/vehicle collision. I wasn't that much older myself. I can't tell you the rage and hatred I felt directed at the driver. It took a long time but the weight of you carryhing that much anger is harming you. It's hurting you in many ways you aren't even aware of until much later.
Sue

Some good advice here. Sue makes a great point about forgiveness.

 

[C Reed]

I hope my brother doesn't hate me, some times I think he might. We went almost 5 years with out talking (I was 14-19 he was 10-15) but that is because I moved away from home because my mother is crazy and I had a friend willing to take me in. I got emancipated at 16 (earliest you could in Colorado).

Me and him started exchanging emails when I lived in the UK, and then recently phone calls when I moved back to the states. I have gone to visit him at collage in Philadelphia a few times and its been really great. We don't get along perfectly but its amazing being an older brother again.

I'll never forgive my mother for what she did to me, him, and my farther but I hope one day he forgives me for getting out when I did, even though it probably made it harder for him.

 

[Mr-Scruffy]

I have two brothers that are no damn good. That just leaves me and my parents. They are both liars, thieves, and sociopaths. One has tried to kill me.

I do not talk to them. I try to avoid them at all costs.

Some people are just no damn good. A bad person is a bad person no matter how much reconciliation you try to do with them.

Stay away from them. Do not talk to them. Do not feel bad about it. It is not your fault that the person is no damn good.

Do not waste your energy hating them. Life is too short.

 

[SpyvSpy]

Knock em out....J/K I used to be like this with my brother but we've grown up and talk about pipe smoking and tea brewing. Looks like someone needs to stop sucking their thumb (your bro)

 

[DapperJames]

I think its hard to offer an in depth opinion on this since we all don’t know you and your brothers detailed history of issues and your relationship.

My advice is that you don’t have to be his friend or even like him. Avoid conversations or any type of communication if all it does it cause friction between you two for whatever reason. I do believe it’s a waste of time and energy to wish him dead and continue with such negative thoughts. Live your life and let him live his.

Reality is you are brothers and you’re your own blood. If one or both of you were to lose everything in the end all you’d have is each other.

Then again I don’t know you and all of this could be paranoid schizophrenia. Maybe you’re the jerk and your brothers a gentleman. We don’t know. You seem like an angry guy, talk to a professional about it and work it out for the better.

 

[SRock]

I don't know if this is real or was intended as an April Fools joke. However, it is starting to draw too much negative attention.

If anyone has sound advice for the OP please handle this via PM.

Thread Closed!