What's new
  • Guest
    As per our long standing policy of not permitting medical advice on the forum - all threads concerning the Coronavirus will be locked.
    For more info on the coronavirus please see the link below:

Dinner guests who don't eat...

All three of my sibling-in-laws have kids with "allergies". Our kids can eat whatever the hell they want. They're the usual kid-picky, you know, but nothing to stop them from eating.

So, as my wife and I have non-allergenic children, but her siblings don't, this can only mean that it's the SPOUSES of my sibling-in-laws which produce "issues".

This makes me and mine superior in a Darwinian world. Enjoy your gluten free, non-gmo, low sodium, fat free, vegan, dye free, free range, grass fed, tasteless CRAP.


Great stuff. I sympathize with the problem. When my kids had parties there was always a finicky eater. However when my brother was diagnosed with celiac disease I learned a whole new level of problems. Eating out is a huge problem with the exception of some higher end restaurants. Cooking for him is also an exercise in cleanliness and creativity.
As someone who has struggled with my weight and weight-related health problems all of my life, I totally understand where she is coming from. I do not eat red meat, pasta, or fried foods either at this point in my life (pushing 50), and if offered any I will politely decline.

Perhaps she has had a weight problem or a health scare at some point in her life? I don't think her response is necessarily a sign of petulance or immaturity. It isn't in my case.
I have the most understanding for someone that either can't eat something because of a health issue or due to dietary restrictions. I highly admire everybody that is mustering up the will power to change their lifestyle. I know that where I always fail...lol... I love to eat way too much ;-) Its the same when a friend comes over... I know he overcame an alcohol problem years ago. And hes perfectly fine with people enjoying alcohol for a dinner... but I don't want it. That night it will just be some sweet tea or sodas then. I can accomodate... its just when people are being ridiculous and picky that I tend to raise an eyebrow. ;-)

This is a slender, smart, well traveled lady.

I would not have raised an eyebrow if she said, for example, "I do not eat fried food." It was the "I don't eat this or that, but hot dogs and wings are okay" thing that had me shaking my head.

That!!! +1

Fish, chips and mushy peas washed down with a pint of Guinness. Just tell her it's British haute cuisine....:001_tt2:
I'd take that any day over some super fancy whatchamightcallit... ;-)

But it needs to be served in a basket... with newspaper... and I need salt & malt vinegar :001_tongu
I'm a recent dietary vegan, primarily for health reasons rather than ethical reasons, but if you went to the trouble to make me a steak with a side of bacon wrapped wings, I'd eat it with gusto and thank my host for the lovely meal.

Avoiding a food because it will kill you - like a nut allergy - is one thing. Being picky in the face of an offered meal is quite another.
Having been asked what she likes, should she not have answered truthfully?

Do you know her well enough to know whether she might be stringing you along?

Thanks for all the input!

The Amish have a saying: "It wonders me."

I can deal with the food choices. Just not going to spend two hours making something special. And as I said, I like the lady. So, she will get boneless chicken.
When invited for dinner, I don't recall ever asking what they were serving. I only ask, 'what can I bring?'
Hah! I feel your consternation. One of my neighbors down the pier used to be an eager participant in marina pot luck dinner parties, but he recently got married and apparently there is very little that she can or will eat, and it must arrive as an uber delivery from a restaurant and not be made by mortal visible neighborhood hands. Food prepared by uncouth boat people just doesn't measure up. So he can't eat our groceries, either, naturally. I think I would rather cook for a vegetabletarian. Yes it is a thing these days. No gluten, no nuts or nut oil, no olive oil, no common vegetable oil, no lard of course, and no shortening. No black pepper, no red pepper, no white pepper, no jalapenos, no onions, no beans, no cauliflower even pickled so no olive salad, no shrimp or crab, no beef other than organic grass fed, no factory chicken or eggs, no fish that actually came out of the water, nothing charcoal grilled, nothing even a little bit of pink in the middle, no juice or fat dripping out, no cilantro, etc etc etc it's crazy how some folks are these days. I just tell folks what I am cooking and they can brown bag if they don't think it is up to their standards. They can have their quinoa/millet/organic oats granola or watercress salad on gluten free kosher crackers or deli egg sandwiches with the bread crust cut away, while I enjoy my own collard greens and ham hocks with jalapenos and red onions. or chili and cornbread, or a la charra pinto beans or gumbo or jambalaya or menudo and big mounds of fragrant jasmine rice. More of the good stuff for me.

So don't feel no way about that. It seems to be a growing trend, a fad if you will. Somehow related to the big hipster new left conspiracy I think. Quite simply, nothing is good enough, which makes the person believing that, feel superior to the ordinary rabble who will eat any plate of ettouffe or shrimp and grits or meatloaf put in front of them.
No good stuff? Just kill me now!
When invited for dinner, I don't recall ever asking what they were serving. I only ask, 'what can I bring?'
Thats actually how I've seen either picky eaters or people with certain dietary restrictions handle the issue. They offer to bring some sort of side. It always complies with their restrictions, so if what you are serving doesn't work for them, they at least have something to eat.
Thats actually how I've seen either picky eaters or people with certain dietary restrictions handle the issue. They offer to bring some sort of side. It always complies with their restrictions, so if what you are serving doesn't work for them, they at least have something to eat.
Good idea.

I've done a similar thing when they said they were going to be grilling burgers, brats, and chicken. I took myself a ribeye or a seafood kabob!
Before he was married to my sister my B-I-L had a house mate that existed solely on cold cereal, microwaved hot dogs, and Miller Lite, and if the hot dog split while it was being nuked he's toss it and make another one. He was quarky, but otherwise likable.
Let's say you made steak with pasta salad and French fries.

Would you be upset if she just sat there and didn't eat, without telling you the deal?

My brothers boyfriend had lap band done a few years ago and now eats a strict diet.

When he comes to cookouts we always make more than enough food, however he usually, politely, declines.
I have a few friends who have various dietary requirements -- Celiac Disease, Nut Allergies, can't eat tomatoes or other high-acid foods, and a vegetarian. I will always try to make something that meets their requirements, but they all always say, "Make what you want. If I can eat it fine, if not, don't be offended." Most will also bring a contribution that they can eat. Consequently, I've had the vegetarian over for BBQ, and the low-acid guy for Movie night watching the Godfather and serving Spaghetti and Meatballs.

Surprisingly, the guy with Celiac (real Celiac, not trendy Gluten free), is one of the easiest -- he's a great cook and will always bring something amazing, and I know enough about it to be able to cook for him.

In the end, it's about sharing time with friends. It's the friends that are important, not the menu.