Well. I very nearly lost it and killed a salesperson. I was in an unnamed shaving outlet mall store a few weeks ago; it was my first time in their store, and the salesperson proceeded to irritate the hell out of me by nagging me repeatedly after being told I don't need their help. I know the majority of sheeple who herd into the store probably don't know their *** from their elbow shaving-wise and may benefit from some explanation, but... just... damn!! Every time I picked up a product to read the box or crack it for a sniff, they were back again... EDUCATING me... I get BBS nearly every day sans irritation, I don't require an unsolicited lesson in wetshaving from them or anyone else.
There were more little annoyances than just these major examples, but this post is going to be long enough as it is.
I enter the store. Salesperson greets me and asks if I require assistance. Nothing out of the ordinary, I would naturally expect that in any store. I inform them I am just browsing, thank you very much though... no problem...
I touch a shaving cream jar- cue a lecture about what the different scents are for, skin care wise. I inform them I am browsing and thank you, but I do not require assistance... they back off.
I lather up a free sample in the store sink- salesperson materializes and proceeds to offer lathering advice... when I was clearly doing just fine without their help. In fact, their suggestions seem to oddly be lagging my actions by a healthy three to five seconds. I politely inform them I just want to sample the product, I don't need any help... S/P hovers like a vulture... irritatation mounts...
I am rinsing after the practice lather. It has gone well, this is a quality product. S/P asks, unprompted, if I use a brush. Since I have clearly just demonstrated that I am well acquainted with Mr. Badger by producing mounds of thick, moist, slippery lather with an unfamiliar brush, cream, and water, I begin to wonder if this person was repeatedly dropped and/ or ate paint chips as a child. Not wanting to be rude, I respond that I do. S/P asks if it is a badger hair brush. While making no eye contact, I curtly inform them 'yes'. While I turn and walk away to examine product, S/P asks me if my brush is in good condition... I reply in the affirmative and walk away to the other side of the store. S/P follows. Urge to kill... rising...
I examine their aftershaves. S/P helpfully asks if I use an aftershave. I reply that I do, but am JUST BROWSING RIGHT NOW. I do NOT require assitance, thank you very much. I crack the lid and smell. It smells nice. This is definitely a quality product. S/P offers that this is an alcohol-free product, and inquires if my aftershave is alcohol based. While burning a hole in the bottle with my eyes, I inform them that I do, and it works just fine for me. If I have questions I will ask, but I AM JUST BROWSING RIGHT NOW.
S/P with BAD, CRUSTY MAKEUP informs me that, well, in fact, she went to beauty school, and knows for a fact that alcohol is very bad for my skin. I consider asking them why a beauty school graduate applies her own makeup like it's day one at clown college, and is working at a men's shaving store instead of a salon, except the first part probably answers the second, making my whole question redundant. I now hate this person more than anything else in the whole universe. I decide a person this stupid will not benefit from me destroying them with white hot verbal abuse, and instead turn around and walk out of the store completely frustrated. S/P calls out for me to have a nice day. I consider setting them on fire, but remember that this is probably illegal and jail would seriously cramp my style.
I may be exaggerating. Just a tiny bit. But not much
I don't think of myself as a rude person, and I think I communicated what I needed to politely (at the start) and clearly (throughout). This person just wasn't listening. I would think it rude to say, "Leave me alone, I don't need or want your help, you're completely annoying," but I got so frustrated I almost blurted it out more than once. Halfway through our 'conversation,' I just stopped looking at them or being remotely polite while speaking, and they STILL wouldn't leave me alone.
It's too bad- the product seemed nice. If I had just ten minutes alone to wander the store, I probably would have bought something. Oh well. The whole thing seems kinda funny now.
There were more little annoyances than just these major examples, but this post is going to be long enough as it is.
I enter the store. Salesperson greets me and asks if I require assistance. Nothing out of the ordinary, I would naturally expect that in any store. I inform them I am just browsing, thank you very much though... no problem...
I touch a shaving cream jar- cue a lecture about what the different scents are for, skin care wise. I inform them I am browsing and thank you, but I do not require assistance... they back off.
I lather up a free sample in the store sink- salesperson materializes and proceeds to offer lathering advice... when I was clearly doing just fine without their help. In fact, their suggestions seem to oddly be lagging my actions by a healthy three to five seconds. I politely inform them I just want to sample the product, I don't need any help... S/P hovers like a vulture... irritatation mounts...
I am rinsing after the practice lather. It has gone well, this is a quality product. S/P asks, unprompted, if I use a brush. Since I have clearly just demonstrated that I am well acquainted with Mr. Badger by producing mounds of thick, moist, slippery lather with an unfamiliar brush, cream, and water, I begin to wonder if this person was repeatedly dropped and/ or ate paint chips as a child. Not wanting to be rude, I respond that I do. S/P asks if it is a badger hair brush. While making no eye contact, I curtly inform them 'yes'. While I turn and walk away to examine product, S/P asks me if my brush is in good condition... I reply in the affirmative and walk away to the other side of the store. S/P follows. Urge to kill... rising...
I examine their aftershaves. S/P helpfully asks if I use an aftershave. I reply that I do, but am JUST BROWSING RIGHT NOW. I do NOT require assitance, thank you very much. I crack the lid and smell. It smells nice. This is definitely a quality product. S/P offers that this is an alcohol-free product, and inquires if my aftershave is alcohol based. While burning a hole in the bottle with my eyes, I inform them that I do, and it works just fine for me. If I have questions I will ask, but I AM JUST BROWSING RIGHT NOW.
S/P with BAD, CRUSTY MAKEUP informs me that, well, in fact, she went to beauty school, and knows for a fact that alcohol is very bad for my skin. I consider asking them why a beauty school graduate applies her own makeup like it's day one at clown college, and is working at a men's shaving store instead of a salon, except the first part probably answers the second, making my whole question redundant. I now hate this person more than anything else in the whole universe. I decide a person this stupid will not benefit from me destroying them with white hot verbal abuse, and instead turn around and walk out of the store completely frustrated. S/P calls out for me to have a nice day. I consider setting them on fire, but remember that this is probably illegal and jail would seriously cramp my style.
I may be exaggerating. Just a tiny bit. But not much
I don't think of myself as a rude person, and I think I communicated what I needed to politely (at the start) and clearly (throughout). This person just wasn't listening. I would think it rude to say, "Leave me alone, I don't need or want your help, you're completely annoying," but I got so frustrated I almost blurted it out more than once. Halfway through our 'conversation,' I just stopped looking at them or being remotely polite while speaking, and they STILL wouldn't leave me alone.
It's too bad- the product seemed nice. If I had just ten minutes alone to wander the store, I probably would have bought something. Oh well. The whole thing seems kinda funny now.
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By the way, your post reminded me of Richard Pryor when he said “It's hard enough to go through the day without killing a mf,” 
And not to mention the pricetag 
