Engagement ring questions

[rickw]

Educate yourself regarding the 4Cs (cut, colour, clarity, caratweight) and spend some time reading about what is more/less important (unless you're independently wealthy, there will be tradeoffs, so you need to know where they can be made). Also, get recommendations from friends who've just gone through the process and then shop around a bit on your own before going with your girlfriend.
Good luck!

Shop the stone and only buy from a reputable source. If you buy a large stone, buy a good one and insure it. The rise in price for larger stones is not linear. Larger stones are not as common and therefore command a higher price. For $15k you should be able to get a reasonable good stone larger than 2 carats. Of course, if you went with Zircon you could get the same size stone for about $100.

I've known of women that asked for a 3 carat stone and actually received one only to determine that it was too big.

 

[Doc4]

+ whatever comes after infinity

e^(pi*i)+2, obviously.

I've always been a big believer in the solitaire as the only appropriate engagement ring ... but fortunately my GF and I went shopping together and now I know she'd much rather have a threesome.

Insert dirty joke here.

A ring with three diamonds, that is. It pays to ask. It's about making her dreams come true, not yours (we're back to the threesome again, aren't we?)

 

[TimmyBoston]

My girlfriend and I have been looking at engagement rings at the moment. We're not quite ready to get engaged, well at least I'm not. I would like my own life to be more stable, still being a graduate student, I can't exactly provide for her at the moment, but hopefully soon.

Primarily we've been looking at Tiffany and Co. We've found some lovely rings and many of the smaller stones look very nice as well.

 

[Lynchmeister]

How get Lynchmeister get his custom title? He earned it.

 

[ouch]

My girlfriend and I have been looking at engagement rings at the moment. We're not quite ready to get engaged, well at least I'm not.

Perhaps you can explain this- you're talking about engagement, marriage, and your entire future, so what the hell does what you think about it have to do with anything?

Believe me, your future has already been planned out for you, down to the most minute detail.

 

[doctorsimon]

Congratulations!

No question about the stone -- it must be a diamond. Ignore your earnings as too big a stone can be uncomfortable to wear (she could feel very aware of a valuable piece of jewellery on her finger and feel that she is about to be mugged.) Size isn't everything, the clarity, cut and colour also matter.

You should find a manufacturing jeweller so that you can design a ring yourselves as you seem to be inclined to do this. A lot of the rings over here in the UK are all made to poor standards in China, unless you go to Hatton Garden, which is the heart of the UK jewellery business. Oh, and the first ring we had made fell apart within a fortnight, almost losing the stone down the waste-disposal. I was not happy with the jewellers you can imagine.

You might be tempted to organise a trip to NYC where you can propose and get a ring designed and made to your specifications. I suggest NYC as that is where the big diamond merchants are based in the US. (Or come to London, Brussels, or Tel Aviv.)

Three months? hahaha.

Joint purchase? I wouldn't personally. I didn't actually.

Vintage ring? My wife's ring was made with a stone from my grandfather's ring, a matching stone is in my sister-in-law's ring and my grandmother still has the third stone. The cut of the ring is an older style, not the more common solitaire cut so popular today. Obviously it has sentimental value, but knowing that the cut of the diamond is very rare today makes it more special. You could purchase an old ring for the 'on-one-knee' moment but then organise a new setting for her too.

Most important advice -- make the proposal a good one or she'll forever remind you...

 

[doctorsimon]

The original tension ring was by Niessing, they can be quite bulky and the size of the stone is limited. They do look great though.

Also, consider the metal colour: a white metal will show a colourless diamond well, platinum is not an alloy unlike white gold which eventually becomes yellow as the plating rubs off as Geoff said. However, platinum still tarnishes and scratches despite it's reputation as a hard metal. My wedding band is already scratched all over due to stainless steel medical equipment. If the stone is a little coloured you should choose a yellow gold setting. It's all a bit like wearing a white shirt to show off your tan!

S.

Just a suggestion but I think the Tension Set rings look, by far, the spiffiest.
Of course that is what I got my wife so I am biased

Hers looks like this one:

Also, if you are getting white gold be aware that generally it is rhodium plated to make it appear pure white. Many jewelers off free re-plating but it seems a bit of a pain.
If you can find someone that will make your ring in 19k white gold, that will be pure white on its own and requires no plating.

I was particularly keen on the 19k for my ring as I beat the heck out of it and a plating layer would not be likely to hold up.

 

[geoff]

The original tension ring was by Niessing, they can be quite bulky and the size of the stone is limited. They do look great though.

Although they can be bulky, the one we selected actually kept the stone much closer to the finger and was more compact than the traditional pronged rings.
Also, you can certainly go up to a 1 carat diamond easily. If you really hunt around you may find a local jeweler that can make one, that is the route we went, in which case larger stones may be possible. Doubtless due to the style you won't get too far past 1 carat though.

Also, consider the metal colour: a white metal will show a colourless diamond well, platinum is not an alloy unlike white gold which eventually becomes yellow as the plating rubs off as Geoff said. However, platinum still tarnishes and scratches despite it's reputation as a hard metal. My wedding band is already scratched all over due to stainless steel medical equipment. If the stone is a little coloured you should choose a yellow gold setting. It's all a bit like wearing a white shirt to show off your tan!

S.

As noted though some jewelers provide the option of a 19K white gold. Based on the metals used for alloying it the gold will stay white and requires no plating. I have beat the heck out of mine and despite being scratched up it is still pure shiny white.

 

[Suzuki]

If you're shopping at Tiffany (or any big-name jshop), you're going to pay WAAAAYYY more than you have to or get less for your money.

I've gotten great deals from small reputable dealers and wholesalers.

As for the white vs. yellow metal, I've always been told that white metal is best for stones that are not perfect colour - the reasoning being that a white setting won't emphasize the stone's colour.

 

[rtaylor61]

The best advice I ever heard was "buy a ring you can afford, and one that fits comfortable in YOUR nose". Funny now, but makes more sense once you are actually married. Just ask Cory (Lynchmeister). His title says it all!

Randy

 

[knlgskr]

Purchase a certified diamond; GIA preferably. I would not go below an SI1 clarity, J color, Good cut. Keep the color and clarity comparable and balanced.

Cut, the best quality diamonds are Round (Brilliant) cut because that is the preferred shape for investment diamonds. Emerald cut diamonds reflect not refract light and are usually lower quality.

"Blood Diamond", be thankful; the blood isn't yours.

The diamond and Corundum family are the hardest gemstones and the corundum is 1/70+ as hard as the diamond. If it is red, it is a Ruby; any other color it is a Sapphire. Jade while it is not as hard, is extremely "tough".

While it is true that there are many diamonds; very few are of "gem" quality about 1 in 1,000 carets.

I would not buy a diamond in NYC; a documentary on television explains why.

Amsterdam and Antwerp are also diamond centers.

Make the selection together; you are a couple and may remain so for the rest of your lives.

Richard

 

[Lynchmeister]

Perhaps you can explain this- you're talking about engagement, marriage, and your entire future, so what the hell does what you think about it have to do with anything?

Believe me, your future has already been planned out for you, down to the most minute detail.

Funny how that works, isn't it?

 

[Lynchmeister]

The best advice I ever heard was "buy a ring you can afford, and one that fits comfortable in YOUR nose". Funny now, but makes more sense once you are actually married. Just ask Cory (Lynchmeister). His title says it all!

Randy

DON'T DO IT MAN!



J/K, married life isn't that bad. <--- my wife made me say that

 

[FriscoSoxFan]

Since you asked about the three month thing, I'm guessing you haven't saved for the ring.

Screw the three month thing.

If you are getting married, and especially if you plan on having kids, being saddled with debt and a monthly payment is no way to start a marriage. Debt and money management is the #1 stressor in a marriage (next to religious conflict) and there is no reason to start off on the wrong foot and set yourself up for arguments down the road by making the wallet tighter.

If you want to spend the rest of your life with her, it would behoove you to think of the money you plan on spending as "our" money rather than "my" money. Do you know how she feels about debt? If she were buying it for herself, how much would she pay? Because, in fact, you are spending her money on that ring if you are going to finance it.

 

[ouch]

You'll also need wedding bands. May I recommend something in a quick release?

 

[Lynchmeister]

Re: Debt and financing.

This might not be an option depending on where you go, but I bought Desiree's ring from the Shane Company and they have both layaway and financing options. Being a poor, new, college grad, I took advantage of both.

The layaway option had two stipulations. 1. You make a minimum $20 payment a month, and 2. you can only lay away for 6 months max. Here's what I did: I started with layaway and made payments as often as I could for as much as I could for those six months. After that, I financed the remaining balance and continued to pay what I could afford when the funds became available. It worked like a charm.

 

[guenron]

Just as an aside after all of these knowledgeable gents have provided the wisdom of the ages, a nice thing about a solitaire with a simple band is that is easily sits atop an all diamond wedding band given on the fifth anniversary. And best of luck!

 

[usman_a]

But, in the end it really doesn't matter. As long as she says yes and you guys take care of each other, who cares about the ring?

wtg

could have not said it better myself!!! the true cost of the ring down to what you feel happu paying and can afford. Teh stuff you see on TV or mags (ie 2 times, or 3 times) is a load of crap! marketing bs.

find out what her ring size is, maybe take on her rings to get an idea of size and am sure what ever you get her will liked as its sign of love not size and how bling bling it is!

 

[OldSaw]

If you want to spend the rest of your life with her, it would behoove you to think of the money you plan on spending as "our" money rather than "my" money. Do you know how she feels about debt? If she were buying it for herself, how much would she pay? Because, in fact, you are spending her money on that ring if you are going to finance it.

DITTO

As long as she says yes and you guys take care of each other, who cares about the ring?

DITTO again

Like I said in my earlier post, guys get all bent over things like cut, color and clarity. As you can see there is no shortage of people to show up and tell you how to spend your and your wife's money.

Listen to these guys who have taken the more frugal route. If that ring is ever going to be the pivot point in any future arguments, remember it isn't the ring at all, it's almost always something else. Selfishness is the biggest marriage killer, don't let it start now on either part.

It's a lot easier for me to do things like fly to NYC or where ever, now. But to suggest that you do the same is either just bragging or trying to make you feel bad if it is out of your budget.

And... you could try talking to her parents about your plans. There could be some wisdom there.

 

[ouch]

The best advice I ever heard was "buy a ring you can afford, and one that fits comfortable in YOUR nose". Funny now, but makes more sense once you are actually married. Just ask Cory (Lynchmeister). His title says it all!

Randy

Of course, if your nickname is the schnozz, this may not be the cheapest route.