might be time for a new mother-in-law.
Cozy camping Memorial Day weekend?
- Thread starter Wendy
- Start date
This is a complicated situation. First off why is mil coming with you in the first place? Maybe she invited the ex and the kids so the children could have playmates.
Honestly, this needs to be worked out between you and your husband. Honest communication is the key here. If you do not tell him this bothers you, problems can arise down the road.
Whatever happens try to have a good time. Focus on the children. Good luck!
Honestly, this needs to be worked out between you and your husband. Honest communication is the key here. If you do not tell him this bothers you, problems can arise down the road.
Whatever happens try to have a good time. Focus on the children. Good luck!
Yeah, I think he "should" also, but if he isn't then I think action is warranted.
- Thread starter
- #24
It is my MIL's 5th wheel in a gated lake resort. Other campers are reasonably priced for rent with the owners invitation. These additional rentals are then placed next to hers. We will grill and be having meals together, campfire conversation, etc.
It was arranged a couple weeks ago for the Memorial Day weekend that I and my family spend the time there.
Playmates are not an issue. There is a lot for the kids to do. Fish, swim (pool & lake), pony rides, playgrounds, and more. At the end of the day they crash from all the activity.
This is not the first time this has happened. My husband doesn't see anything wrong with his mother doing things like this. He says she just likes everyone.
It's very offensive to me and I don't think it is just me. I wanted to see if other men shared his opinion that I am the one with a problem.
Wendy
It was arranged a couple weeks ago for the Memorial Day weekend that I and my family spend the time there.
Playmates are not an issue. There is a lot for the kids to do. Fish, swim (pool & lake), pony rides, playgrounds, and more. At the end of the day they crash from all the activity.
This is not the first time this has happened. My husband doesn't see anything wrong with his mother doing things like this. He says she just likes everyone.
It's very offensive to me and I don't think it is just me. I wanted to see if other men shared his opinion that I am the one with a problem.
Wendy
There are some things you just don't do. This is one of them. It's a bit awkward since it sounds like you are the invitee rather than the inviter? It may be that you need to cancel and go camping elsewhere for the weekend.
Personally, if I were in a similar situation I'd refuse to go on the trip. Moms can be strange creatures sometimes and it can be tough to juggle the mother/wife relationship. It's a shame your husband doesn't see it your way. Maybe he's afraid to confront her.
I think my girlfriend would be upset if my mother invited any of my ex-wives to vacation. 
Realistically, I would not allow it.
Realistically, I would not allow it.
Well, can you fight fire with fire? Have an old boyfriend, or just somebody annoying, to invite also?
I really do think it is a bad setup, and it doesn't seem innocent either (i.e. - I think to plan that situation, the mother in law has bad intentions). Nobody is that naive in my opinion.
Tell M-I-L to pound sand. Tell your, um, husband? Is that what they call mama's boys? Anyways, tell him you are not going, keep the kids and let him spend time with Mom and the Ex. Apparently, without seeing anything wrong with it, that is what he wants. Nip this in the bud before things get worse. They will.
God gives you lemons, you make lemonade......
Try and make the best of it. You never know, you may become good friends. Life has a strange way of twisting people around, and putting them together. one of my best friends is a boyfriend of a former girlfriend. Neither one of us were into it at first, but we actually became honest to god friends.
Or you could just put a couple drops of Visinein her coffee. That will give her diarrhea. And nothing sucks worst than camping with the runs!
Don't put too much Visine in her coffee, nothing more than a couple of drops. Anything more will cause such a sever condition, that the victim will become seriously dehydrated. That's how my ex's boyfriend and myself became such good friends. It was that two hour ride to the hospital we did some bonding.
Try and make the best of it. You never know, you may become good friends. Life has a strange way of twisting people around, and putting them together. one of my best friends is a boyfriend of a former girlfriend. Neither one of us were into it at first, but we actually became honest to god friends.
Or you could just put a couple drops of Visinein her coffee. That will give her diarrhea. And nothing sucks worst than camping with the runs!
Don't put too much Visine in her coffee, nothing more than a couple of drops. Anything more will cause such a sever condition, that the victim will become seriously dehydrated. That's how my ex's boyfriend and myself became such good friends. It was that two hour ride to the hospital we did some bonding.
Just another vote that agrees with everyone else:
1. This catches me flat-footed. Wow. I can't believe you're even in this situation.
2. Your DH really does need to step up. (I'm truly sorry he's not.)
3. If he doesn't, xboston gave you advice I wish I'd come up with. I don't know what's going on here, but I think taking the high road, especially with your children along, is the right road to take.
1. This catches me flat-footed. Wow. I can't believe you're even in this situation.
2. Your DH really does need to step up. (I'm truly sorry he's not.)
3. If he doesn't, xboston gave you advice I wish I'd come up with. I don't know what's going on here, but I think taking the high road, especially with your children along, is the right road to take.
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No need for discussion first-this should not have been done in the first place.
remember, your husband will continue to be a momma's boy as long as you allow it-you ultimately hold the winning hand(the goods).
If momma(the wife) aint happy.......
marty
remember, your husband will continue to be a momma's boy as long as you allow it-you ultimately hold the winning hand(the goods).
If momma(the wife) aint happy.......
marty
Maybe I missed something - did you say if the ex-fiance's children are your husband's children as well? That's the ONLY reason I could think that your M.I.L. might be justified in inviting them, and even then *only* if she'd consulted you first.
Frankly, I can't imagine what the three other adults in this situation are/were thinking. A sit-down with your husband's mother may be in order to find out whether you are dealing with passive-aggressive behavior or just boneheadedness. And to set some ground rules. Like Marty says, the bottom line is that you should be holding the trump card regarding your family and their involvement with her. If you aren't, then that's a different can of worms, I guess.
Hope it all works out for the best.
Frankly, I can't imagine what the three other adults in this situation are/were thinking. A sit-down with your husband's mother may be in order to find out whether you are dealing with passive-aggressive behavior or just boneheadedness. And to set some ground rules. Like Marty says, the bottom line is that you should be holding the trump card regarding your family and their involvement with her. If you aren't, then that's a different can of worms, I guess.
Hope it all works out for the best.
- Thread starter
- #35
I think so. Can I auction the current one off on Ebay?
- Thread starter
- #36
No. These other children are not my husbands children.
why is there not a "choose the first 3 options" choice?
I do not see how husband can justify thinking this should not bother you unless he is putting his mothers wishes well above yours and ignoring all logic. I think you should be talking to him and letting him know this situation is not ok or acceptable. if he refuses to act, talk to MIL if that does not work call the ex (awkward indeed) and if none of them see a problem with it you may have to tell them all you have a problem with it and react accordingly. personally i think it inappropriate for your husband to not see any issue with spending vacation time with his ex fiance while he is married much less has kids. i don't have kids and am not yet married, however i would be thinking very carefully about interactions/situations i would let kids be around if i did not find them acceptable. letting kids think that it is fine may very well lead them to the same thinking in the future and is not something i would desire for my children.
all that being said my thoughts are with you while these events unfold, i hope your husband starts to think more gentlemanly and takes your concerns into consideration. best of luck.
I do not see how husband can justify thinking this should not bother you unless he is putting his mothers wishes well above yours and ignoring all logic. I think you should be talking to him and letting him know this situation is not ok or acceptable. if he refuses to act, talk to MIL if that does not work call the ex (awkward indeed) and if none of them see a problem with it you may have to tell them all you have a problem with it and react accordingly. personally i think it inappropriate for your husband to not see any issue with spending vacation time with his ex fiance while he is married much less has kids. i don't have kids and am not yet married, however i would be thinking very carefully about interactions/situations i would let kids be around if i did not find them acceptable. letting kids think that it is fine may very well lead them to the same thinking in the future and is not something i would desire for my children.
all that being said my thoughts are with you while these events unfold, i hope your husband starts to think more gentlemanly and takes your concerns into consideration. best of luck.
Just tell you hubby that you are inviting your past "fling" and children. If he is ok with that..... shoot him and his mother! Your mother in law is a real piece of work. She just got un-invited along with her band of renound. Your husband should do the work......or he can go by himself.
What lack of stones and what lack of class!
Let us know how it turns out.
Later,
Richard
Your mother in law is a real piece of work. She just got un-invited along with her band of renound. Your husband should do the work......or he can go by himself. What lack of stones and what lack of class!
Let us know how it turns out.
Later,
Richard
Next time make sure you have a round tent, a teepee, perhaps? So there is not even one corner for your mother in law
+1
I completely agree. I'm a firm believer that once you marry someone, you must have that person's back, so to speak. He needs to man up and talk to his mother. He has to be firm on this. There's no "I'll see what I can do" here. He has to show some loyalty and respect for you and take up your cause.
If he does not, then you will have to speak to your mother-in-law. It might not be a pleasant conversation but they forced your hand. Perhaps you will look like the "bad guy" at the end but you cannot allow this. The gall!
