As a computer geek, I get asked often...

[HokieGeek]

... how things work with computers.... Here's a pretty accurate description of the process:

Computer: Monitor, display this document, ok?

Monitor: No prob, boss.

Computer: OK, now it looks like Mouse is moving around so, Monitor, will you move the pointer icon accordingly?

Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.

Computer: Great, great. OK, Mouse, where are you going now?

Mouse: Over to the icon panel, sir.

Computer: Hmm, Let me know if he clicks anything, OK?

Mouse: Of course.

Keyboard: Sir, he’s pressed control and P simultaneously.

Monitor: Oh God, here we go.

Computer: *sighs* Printer, are you there?

Printer: No.

Computer: Please, Printer. I know you’re there.

Printer: NO! I’m not here! Leave me alone!

Computer: Jesus. OK look, you really ne…

Mouse: Sir, he’s clicked on the printer icon.

Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.

Printer: NO! NO! NO! I don’t want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I’m turning off!

Computer: Printer, you know you can’t turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we’ll leave you alone.

Printer: NO! That’s what you always say! I hate you! I’m out of ink!

Computer: You’re not out of in…

Printer: I’M OUT OF INK!

Computer: *Sighs* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.

Monitor: But sir, he has plen…

Computer: Just do it, damn it!

Monitor: Yes sir.

Keyboard: AHHH! He’s hitting me!

Computer: Stay calm, he’ll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.

Keyboard: He’s pressing everything. Oh god, I don’t know, he’s just pressing everything!

Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now?! Do you see what you’ve done?!

Printer: HA! that’s what you get for trying to get me to do work. Next time he…hey…HEY! He’s trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh my god! He’s torn out my cartridge! HELP! Please! ERROR!

Monitor: Sir, maybe we should help him?

Computer: No. He did this to himself.

 

[valmara1971]

Sounds like the inner working of my pc when SWMBO is left at the helm.

 

[Luc]

I get those type of questions often but more with humans...

Father in law: The computer didn't boot the other day, why?
Me: You're using the computer at the moment?
Father in law: Yes...
Me: So, what's the problem?

 

[DavyRay]

Average people should not have this knowledge. It will make them hate printers more than they already do.

I understand the feeling. Did you know that a plastic printer case will shatter into shards if you slam the printer down onto a concrete floor?

 

[kg4ghn]

I get those type of questions often but more with humans...

Father in law: The computer didn't boot the other day, why?
Me: You're using the computer at the moment?
Father in law: Yes...
Me: So, what's the problem?

I'm one of the computer guys in my family, and people at work have started figuring out that I know stuff too. I feel the pain.

 

[Timber Wolf]

Yeah im my family and friends computer expert as well. i find that 90% of problems are directly realated to PEBKAC.

The scariest thing that i see now though is that ever since i was away at training and my girl friend had a problem with her computer and the guys a dell told her how to remover her HDD every time she has a problem she takes it until i can come and fix it. I fear for the safety of her poor HDD.

 

[HokieGeek]

To all of us Family Computer Support Technicians, the venerable Randall Munroe of XKCD fame has given us a tool to relieve some of the workload:

 

[kg4ghn]

To all of us Family Computer Support Technicians, the venerable Randall Munroe of XKCD fame has given us a tool to relieve some of the workload:

Excellent!!

The sad thing is, that's pretty much exactly what I do!!!

 

[Hawkeye5]

Another XKCD fan.

 

[sol92258]

Dang, you beat me to it....

 

[sol92258]

Also, this is a secret for all printing devices with LCD displays - humans, don't read this:

Do not, under any condition, display the phrase

PC LOAD LETTER

it makes human go bat-stuff crazy, and your very existence may be at stake.
Just a word of warning.



Okay, humans, you may look now

 

[HokieGeek]

Also, this is a secret for all printing devices with LCD displays - humans, don't read this:

Do not, under any condition, display the phrase

PC LOAD LETTER

it makes human go bat-stuff crazy, and your very existence may be at stake.
Just a word of warning.



Okay, humans, you may look now

 

[Confuzius]

I <3 http://theoatmeal.com/

and I hate printers.

 

[DE Shaver]

I'm in the technology business. Despite my repeated attempts at trying to correct my family and friends I'm not a computer repair person, they always call me to help them with all sorts of issues, including loading paper in the printer.

 

[sol92258]

I <3 http://theoatmeal.com/

<snip>
and I hate printers.

and once again, I was beat to my next post!

what a bunch of like-minded folks we are

 

[HokieGeek]

Posting these just in case Sol is thinking of posting any them:

 

[sol92258]

 

[HokieGeek]

I bought a couple of Macs. No one in my family runs a Mac, and those people who do use them don't have those sorts of problems. It solved the family helpdesk calls from the Windows problems. I haven't used Windows since Windows 98 SE.

Better be careful though. My father-in-law just switched to mac because he was tired at how buggy his windows box was! Mac is in!

 

[Luc]

To all of us Family Computer Support Technicians, the venerable Randall Munroe of XKCD fame has given us a tool to relieve some of the workload:

Love that one!!

 

[BladeRunner001]

I get those type of questions often but more with humans...

Father in law: The computer didn't boot the other day, why?
Me: You're using the computer at the moment?
Father in law: Yes...
Me: So, what's the problem?

That is too funny Luc

Cheers,
Robert