I can't shave with a straight, can't start a fire, can't cook *well*, don't think I've ever used a fountain pen, most embarassing perhaps, I've never driven a manual, never handled a gun... garh!!. where to start, where to start...
What a man needs to know
- Thread starter moses
- Start date
M
modern man
A man must know how to program his VCR/DVD player
I cant believe nobody mentioned that one .
I cant believe nobody mentioned that one .
I learned manual on a 1929 Model A that my dad had when I was in high school. What a wretched piece of machinery that was. But every other car seemed easy after that. Now I just wish I could heel-and-toe. (And my Alfa has a hemi . . .)
I would add to the list that every man, if he's going to have children, must accept the responsibility that comes with fatherhood, know when to be your child's best friend and know when, no matter how you want to, you can't be your child's best friend (know when to be a dad, and when to be a father.). Enjoy them thinking you can do or fix anything, but know when to let them know you're fallible. Let them see you make mistakes and see you own up to them. And, actually, teach them everything else in this thread that they should know how to do.
I would add to the list that every man, if he's going to have children, must accept the responsibility that comes with fatherhood, know when to be your child's best friend and know when, no matter how you want to, you can't be your child's best friend (know when to be a dad, and when to be a father.). Enjoy them thinking you can do or fix anything, but know when to let them know you're fallible. Let them see you make mistakes and see you own up to them. And, actually, teach them everything else in this thread that they should know how to do.
I spent years learning how to do that right. Now I drive a car with a CVT.
- Thread starter
- #46
Bic lighters work real well for this!
Interesting.... Not sure I see that, but I suppose I could figure it out. Chopsticks are fast and easy. But disposable ones only - don't cut up the ends of somebody's nice ones....
Hell, if you don't care about it, the edge of a table works fine too.
-Mo
Mo, Thanks for starting this thread 
Doc, thanks for digging it up, it's well worth it!
The one problem I have with it though, is I haven't noticed many explanations of How to do things, just what to know.
We've got an amazing list of what to know, know we need to explain how to do these things. (The ones that can be explained, of course)
Now get explaining!
Doc, thanks for digging it up, it's well worth it!
The one problem I have with it though, is I haven't noticed many explanations of How to do things, just what to know.
We've got an amazing list of what to know, know we need to explain how to do these things. (The ones that can be explained, of course)
Now get explaining!
Use your thumb as a leverage point and pry with the bottom of the lighter...much like a chopstick would work, I imagine.
best way to open a beer is with a ring as you are wearing the ring just slide the bottom of it over the cap and pop the cap the same way you would if you had a bottle opener works like a charm and it is some thing most men have with them all the time .
as for programing your VCR/DVD player your on your own i can tell you how to program mine but not sure that would help unless you have the same one lol
as for programing your VCR/DVD player your on your own i can tell you how to program mine but not sure that would help unless you have the same one lol
M
modern man
Mo, Thanks for starting this thread
Doc, thanks for digging it up, it's well worth it!
The one problem I have with it though, is I haven't noticed many explanations of How to do things, just what to know.
We've got an amazing list of what to know, know we need to explain how to do these things. (The ones that can be explained, of course)
Now get explaining!
I have an Idea Mr. Timmy
How bout we get a list going of things we should know and then we have a how to guied with links to outside info like how to light a pipe and then set it up with links on/for pipe smokers.
Any Thoughts?
M
modern man
I wish I had a video camera but, all you do is hold the beer at the neck close to the cap making a fist, then take bottom end of lighter place it under the cap and above your hand and pop it off.
Using the edge of a table works but their is a high chance of breaking the bottle.
M
modern man
The list so far.
Tie a tie
Tie a bowtie
Use a fountain pen
Drive a Stick
Mores code (basics like SOS)
Handle a gun
Sharpen a knife
Change oil/tire
Start a fire (with and with out a match/lighter etc)
Cook a basic meal
Make a good chili
Grill a steak
How to eat seafood (crack lobster, crab, and most of all how to shuck an oyster)
Give a baby a bath
Change a Diaper
Make a bottle
Dispose of a body (Jay can take this one)
Tie a Bowline and other basic knots
Roll a smoke
Light a cigar
Light and smoke a pipe
Set a table and use the right utensil
Use the right glass for the right drink (HIIIIIIIIII BALLLLLLLLL)
Pick the right wine with the right meal (do not go overboard with this)
Fix a Toilet
Do Laundry
Iron a shirt
Fold a shirt
Open a beer with out a bottle opener
Make Coffee
Hunt, Gut, and eat with respect (thanks Jim)
Fish
Program a VCR/DVD player/TV/Remote
Throw a spiral
Play catch
Waltz
Tie a tie
Tie a bowtie
Use a fountain pen
Drive a Stick
Mores code (basics like SOS)
Handle a gun
Sharpen a knife
Change oil/tire
Start a fire (with and with out a match/lighter etc)
Cook a basic meal
Make a good chili
Grill a steak
How to eat seafood (crack lobster, crab, and most of all how to shuck an oyster)
Give a baby a bath
Change a Diaper
Make a bottle
Dispose of a body (Jay can take this one)
Tie a Bowline and other basic knots
Roll a smoke
Light a cigar
Light and smoke a pipe
Set a table and use the right utensil
Use the right glass for the right drink (HIIIIIIIIII BALLLLLLLLL)
Pick the right wine with the right meal (do not go overboard with this)
Fix a Toilet
Do Laundry
Iron a shirt
Fold a shirt
Open a beer with out a bottle opener
Make Coffee
Hunt, Gut, and eat with respect (thanks Jim)
Fish
Program a VCR/DVD player/TV/Remote
Throw a spiral
Play catch
Waltz
- Thread starter
- #53
Makes sense. Btw, the way I always did it with chopsticks, is a little different, using the length of the stick. Hold them upright on the table, together. Holding the beer against them, rest the edge of the cap on the ends, with the palm of your hand on the cap. Use the palm of your can to push down on the cap, especially the side opposite the chopsticks. Takes a little practice, but once you get the hang, you can do it very quickly, and very controlled, so no breaking bottles or beer flying around or anything like that.
Btw, as for the breaking bottles opening on the edge of a table, I assume you mean, swinging the bottle down in a quick motion, so the cap catches and pops off. Fast, and looks kinda cool, but like you say.... I always do the same thing as with the chopsticks. Hold the bottle in my left hand. Catch the edge of the table under the edge of the cap. Press down on the opposite side of cap with the palm of my hand. Never broken a bottle that way.
-Mo
I must have a great start on being a man. I can do just about everything in the list so far save a few things. I second the notion that a man needs to be responsible for his actions. As a father now, I can't remember what it was like now when I had no children and that is perfectly fine with me.
Dennis
Dennis
M
modern man
The way I do it is just rest the cap on the lip of the table and take my other hand and tap the top, pops right off, however if I have had a few too many some times I A. hit to hard or B. slip and drop it, with the lighter no problems.
I'm sure a lot of the needed instructions must be on the WikiHow site.
- Thread starter
- #57
Unfortunately, I am looking at the things I suggested, and can't really figure out how to give instructions for any of them.....
Cook a meal that is good enough to impress a lady - definitely not something you can really give instructions for online. Here's my suggestion for this, if you don't know how to cook, or do it much. Find a good cookbook (Joy of cooking is good). Pick out a recipe for a meat and a couple of veggies that sound good together. A potato dish and another veggie is safe. Look for simple things, not too many steps. Practice until it comes out really good, and save this meal in store for when needed. Oh, and don't forget desert. Once you've got one meal including desert lined up, start learning another.
Grilling - Likewise, hard to give instructions. Gas grills are pretty easy to operate. Just remember to preheat. Charcoal, well, pile up a couple double handfuls of charcoal. Soak with lighter fluid. Let soak in a minute. Hit with a match. Let it burn till you don't see much black left on the charcoal, and it is glowing red down inside the pile. If in the meantime it seems to have gone out, don't worry, it probably hasn't. Once glowing red inside, spread out to form an even bed, then put the grill on and start cooking. Oh, this is less important with other things, but if you are grilling fish or chicken with the skin on, make sure to rub the grill down with oil right before you put the meat on. These things with stick like the dickens.
As for the actual cooking. Most important rule, as with cooking most meats most ways - DO NOT OVERCOOK. Seasonings are a little complicated to get into here. Except that there are a ton of commercial marinades, grilling sauces, and BBQ sauces, and most of them will taste good slathered on a porkchop or a piece of chicken and grilled.
Most things are better cooked with the lid closed.
And don't neglect that a lot of veggies are really good on the grill. Here is a sure winner. Zucchinis. Slice in half lengthwise. Coat with salt, pepper, and olive oil. A little soy sauce or balsamic vinegar if you are so inclined. Grill till relatively soft, and a little charred, but not soggy or really charred. Really easy, and will impress every time.
Start a fire. - Well, if you have the right materials, pretty easy. Start with paper. Newspaper will work, but brown paper grocery bags are much better. Twist up as tight as you can (tear the grocery bags in half, lengthwise, first). The lay small sticks on top, half a dozen or so, then bigger pieces (1-3 inches). Once it gets going good (that means the wood burning well, not just the paper), go ahead and add some large logs. Not that slit wood catches A LOT easier than unsplit.
-Mo
Cook a meal that is good enough to impress a lady - definitely not something you can really give instructions for online. Here's my suggestion for this, if you don't know how to cook, or do it much. Find a good cookbook (Joy of cooking is good). Pick out a recipe for a meat and a couple of veggies that sound good together. A potato dish and another veggie is safe. Look for simple things, not too many steps. Practice until it comes out really good, and save this meal in store for when needed. Oh, and don't forget desert. Once you've got one meal including desert lined up, start learning another.
Grilling - Likewise, hard to give instructions. Gas grills are pretty easy to operate. Just remember to preheat. Charcoal, well, pile up a couple double handfuls of charcoal. Soak with lighter fluid. Let soak in a minute. Hit with a match. Let it burn till you don't see much black left on the charcoal, and it is glowing red down inside the pile. If in the meantime it seems to have gone out, don't worry, it probably hasn't. Once glowing red inside, spread out to form an even bed, then put the grill on and start cooking. Oh, this is less important with other things, but if you are grilling fish or chicken with the skin on, make sure to rub the grill down with oil right before you put the meat on. These things with stick like the dickens.
As for the actual cooking. Most important rule, as with cooking most meats most ways - DO NOT OVERCOOK. Seasonings are a little complicated to get into here. Except that there are a ton of commercial marinades, grilling sauces, and BBQ sauces, and most of them will taste good slathered on a porkchop or a piece of chicken and grilled.
Most things are better cooked with the lid closed.
And don't neglect that a lot of veggies are really good on the grill. Here is a sure winner. Zucchinis. Slice in half lengthwise. Coat with salt, pepper, and olive oil. A little soy sauce or balsamic vinegar if you are so inclined. Grill till relatively soft, and a little charred, but not soggy or really charred. Really easy, and will impress every time.
Start a fire. - Well, if you have the right materials, pretty easy. Start with paper. Newspaper will work, but brown paper grocery bags are much better. Twist up as tight as you can (tear the grocery bags in half, lengthwise, first). The lay small sticks on top, half a dozen or so, then bigger pieces (1-3 inches). Once it gets going good (that means the wood burning well, not just the paper), go ahead and add some large logs. Not that slit wood catches A LOT easier than unsplit.
-Mo
My grandfather told me that a gentleman has standards, but is always courteous and makes everyone comfortable in his presence. He doesn't gossip or publicly call out a person on his/her failings. He will stand up for what is right, and has the courage and skill to speak up where warranted, whether words of condemnation or comfort.
He never taught me skills, but I've been able to make do and don't feel poorer for it.
He never taught me skills, but I've been able to make do and don't feel poorer for it.
- Thread starter
- #59
That sums up a lot of things very well. Much more important things than the skills, of course.
-Mo
Re: Cooking, I suggest finding something deceptively easy but impressive, and master it. For instance, if you can play with Play-Doh, you can make homemade pasta, but people are all sorts of impressed when you do. You don't even need a pasta machine; a rolling pin and a sharp knife are all you need to make tagliatelle.
Re: Grilling, check out the Weber website. Lots of great info. Key thing to know about burgers: Only flip them once. Finish one side, flip, finish other side. I'm a vegetarian (and Bob Barker says in this month's Esquire that real men are vegetarians!) and I always get the burger grilling chore at family gatherings because I'm the only one that does it right.
Re: Grilling, check out the Weber website. Lots of great info. Key thing to know about burgers: Only flip them once. Finish one side, flip, finish other side. I'm a vegetarian (and Bob Barker says in this month's Esquire that real men are vegetarians!) and I always get the burger grilling chore at family gatherings because I'm the only one that does it right.
