Here in Taiwan, the range of shaving soap available is absolutely pathetic. Most local men don't shave (or at least don't need to), and for those who do there are typically only two options; stupidly expensive Gillette or Shick cartridge razors, accompanied by dodgy canned shaving cream (faux soap, or "faup" as I call it). Locally available shaving products for wet shaving are typically confined to a tiny handful of stupidly over-priced Crabtree & Evelyn soaps, or a ridiculously small range of complete silliness from Body Slop.
But even ordering overseas is fraught with peril. Here's what happens when I try to purchase shaving products on Amazon.
1. Try to purchase a badger hair shaving brush; "Sorry, can't ship this overseas, has animal hair, might be a protected species". Fair enough I guess, I'm all for stamping out animal trafficking and protecting endangered species. Let's do this another way.
2. Buy it anyway and have it shipped to my US PO box with my freight forwarder, to be sent on to me in Taiwan.
3. Freight forwarder says "Oh, animal hair, please identify the manufacturer, and the species and genus of the badger; also, you'll need three documents from this government agency, which will cost $80 and take a week, to confirm this isn't a protected species". For a $40 brush. End up having it sent to a friend of mine in the US.
4. Go back to Amazon, try to buy some innocent shaving soap.
5. Get to checkout, "Sorry, can't ship this overseas, this is a controlled substance". Seriously?
6. Buy it anyway and have it shipped to my US PO box with my freight forwarder, to be sent on to me in Taiwan.
7. Freight forwarder says "Oh, two soaps, total weight of 8 ounces, yeah that'll be $40 in shipping fees thanks, and should take a week to arrive". For $25 worth of soap, I am not paying $40 in shipping fees, for the privilege of waiting a week for it to arrive.
Hilarious. Now here's what typically happens when I try to purchase directly from artisan or mainstream manufacturer soap websites.
1. Get to checkout, filling in shipping address. Wait, Taiwan isn't even listed as a shipping option. I leave that site and move on. Sale strike one.
2. Find another website, get to checkout, filling in shipping address, wow Taiwan is listed and I can even specify my region and city, impressive. Complete shipping details, go to pay, and suddenly receive the message "No Shipping options are available. Please contact us for assistance!". Oh ok, so you don't ship to Taiwan after all even though you gave the impression that you did. Or maybe you actually do, but it's obviously going to be a complicated process, and probably expensive. Sorry, don't have time for that. I leave that site and move on. Sale strike two.
3. Find another website and wow, Prosaro on special at 50% off, I'll take three tubs for $5.99 each thanks. They list Taiwan as a shipping option, and I get to actually calculate the shipping fee, so they're definitely going to ship it to me. This is looking great, finally I'm going to... Wait, what? Shipping is going to cost me US$37.99? I'm buying $17.97 of product and it's going to cost me more than twice that in shipping fees? I leave that site and move on. Sale strike three.
I start hanging out on TSN and Badger & Blade, waiting for bargains when other shavers clear their dens. It works much better. I've indulged in a soap spree over the last three weeks, and I'm looking forward to trying everything when it arrives.
I have your Tabac. Meet me at the port of Keelung at 3am. Come alone. Wear black. The passphrase is "The fat man walks alone".