On Being a Best Man

[tam.audio]

My buddy is getting married in two weeks, I've been appointed the Best Man. Are there any responsibilities I may not know about? I'm very ignorant when it comes to traditions.

Thanks in advance for any tips/advice.

 

[Mr. Imperial]

I obviously don't know any of the details about the wedding, and more importantly the couple and groom specifically, but here's my advice. Do as much as you can to keep the groom from having to think about anything other than marrying the love of his life. The groom will be thankful beyond expression, and he'll remember the initiation of the marriage rather than all the background details of the ceremony.

 

[petr]

Know how to tie his tie and keep him groomed. Someone has to tell him if he does not look perfect and that person is you. Nose hair, brows, whatever.

Work on your toast. You are supposed to give a toast at the reception dinner. Make it brief and endearing. Don't over do it. Good luck.

 

[Pescara]

You may be responsible for the safekeeping of the wedding ring.

Re: the toast -- speak first, then drink.

You will have to dance with relatives and moms.

You get to plan the bachelor party.

It's actually a lot of fun.

 

[tam.audio]

You may be responsible for the safekeeping of the wedding ring.

Re: the toast -- speak first, then drink.

You will have to dance with relatives and moms.

You get to plan the bachelor party.

It's actually a lot of fun.

Dance? What's that?

 

[Pescara]

Dance? What's that?

An opportunity to hold pretty women very close.

 

[smokelaw1]

An opportunity to hold pretty women very close.

Best. Answer. Ever.

 

[Snipersnest]

Yeah, but you have to give equal time to the one's that aren't too.

 

[ackvil]

With respect to the toast - don't overdo it. I recently attended a wedding in which the best man spent 10 minutes talking about all the fun he and the groom had growing up etc. and how lucky the new bride was. To put it mildly, he laid a giant egg.

 

[rdh1223]

you may be responsible for the safekeeping of the wedding ring.

Re: The toast -- speak first, then drink.

You will have to dance with relatives and moms.

You get to plan the bachelor party.

It's actually a lot of fun.

+1

 

[Commander Quan]

I would specifically ask the Groom what he want's your responsibilities to be. I am getting married this weekend and my best man's only jobs are to show up on, time look descent, and don't loose the ring.

 

[Wendy]

Re: the toast -- speak first, then drink.

If you listen to only one thing make this the one.

 

[M80]

Traditionally, the best man's responsibilities are:

• Responsible for organizing ushers' activities.
• Organizes bachelor party for the groom.
• Drives groom to ceremony site and sees that he is properly dressed before the wedding.
• Arrives at ceremony site 1 hour before the wedding for photographs.
• Brings marriage license to the wedding.
• Pays the clergyman, musicians, photographer, and any other service providers the day of the wedding.
• Holds the brides ring for the groom, if no ring bearer, until needed by officiant.
• Witnesses the signing of the marriage license.
• Drives newlyweds to the reception if no hired driver.
• Offers first toast at reception, usually before dinner.
• Keeps groom on schedule.
• Dances with maid of honor during the bridal party dance.
• May drive couple to airport or honeymoon suite.
• Oversees return of tuxedo rentals for groom and ushers, on time and in good condition.

I got this list from the best man section of the book The Indispensable Groom's Guide which was passed to me when I was married.

 

[kg4ghn]

Traditionally, the best man's responsibilities are:

• Arrives at ceremony site 1 hour before the wedding for photographs.
• Holds the brides ring for the groom, if no ring bearer, until needed by officiant.
• Offers first toast at reception, usually before dinner.
• Keeps groom on schedule.
• Dances with maid of honor during the bridal party dance.

I got lucky. I only had to do these. Also you don't have to walk down the aisle with a brides maid, you get to stand up front the whole time with the groom.

I met my wife b/c of me being my friends best man. She saw me standing up there looking damn good and gave one of our mutual friends her number for me. True story.

 

[The Nid Hog]

My advice would also be to pace yourself drinking at the reception. You'll have a million other chances to get hammered, but this is your only chance to be your buddy's best man. Don't be the guy who stands up to do the toast, tie askew, and blubbers, "I love you man!" Or who decides to go into a long, uncensored account of that weekend trip to Tijuana.

Also, think about what local peculiarities weddings have where the wedding is being held, or what particular things the bride and groom wants to have happen. Once the party starts, you are the best person to make sure this happens. I've been best man at a couple of weddings in my home town and that required me to make sure that the car was appropriately "decorated" before the bride and groom exited the wedding. I also had to hold the sack during the bride's money dance. If you're from western PA (or saw the Deer Hunter), you'll have an idea about what I mean.

 

[galopede]

In Britain, the main duties seem to be to try to convince the groom he'd be better off single and then to seduce the chief bridesmaid...

Gareth

 

[Austin]

My advice would also be to pace yourself drinking at the reception. You'll have a million other chances to get hammered, but this is your only chance to be your buddy's best man. Don't be the guy who stands up to do the toast, tie askew, and blubbers, "I love you man!" Or who decides to go into a long, uncensored account of that weekend trip to Tijuana.

Also, think about what local peculiarities weddings have where the wedding is being held, or what particular things the bride and groom wants to have happen. Once the party starts, you are the best person to make sure this happens. I've been best man at a couple of weddings in my home town and that required me to make sure that the car was appropriately "decorated" before the bride and groom exited the wedding. I also had to hold the sack during the bride's money dance. If you're from western PA (or saw the Deer Hunter), you'll have an idea about what I mean.

Good advice. You have to look out after the groom and make sure everything goes smoothly. Run interference for the groom and make sure he does not overindulge as well as being the bouncer for the few clowns that get out of hand. It is probably best that you drink sparingly. Have fun.

 

[tam.audio]

I find it amusing that a lot of the tips are to watch the alcohol intake. My buddy wants me to get hammered. I will obviously do this after speaking.

 

[Tacheless]

DO NOT I repeat DO NOT organise Stag Doo the night before the wedding !!!!

 

[jlanger]

From my wedding my best man was great, he brought black socks, undershirts, and handkerchiefs just in case, and sure enough some of my college buds that were groomsmen needed them. Also a lint brush, you're the guy who makes sure you're groom looks good.
However saying that my best man's toast was utterly dreadful, and no matter how good of a job he did IMO, the wifey just remembers that toast and how bad it was, make sure you have a good one, if not just keep it nice short and sweet.