I'm thinking about selling my theremin. I haven't touched it in years.
Jokes that make you groan
- Thread starter Captain Pre-Capsize
- Start date
I posted the sad face because I thought it was the closest to a "groaning" face.
That joke made my dyslexia give me a headache!
Owen Bawn
Garden party cupcake scented
Speaking of dyslexia, did you hear about the group of dyslexic theologians? they got together for a 3 day conference to debate the existence of Dog.
Chandu
I Waxed The Badger.
A club I'm in planned going as a group. The person we put in charge of signing up missed the deadline. So, our Chapter 437 of Procrastinators International did not attend.
Owen Bawn
Garden party cupcake scented
The late Buddy Hackett was brilliant in the "jokes that make you groan" category. The duck story is a Hackett classic.
I keep meaning to join, but...
Chandu
I Waxed The Badger.
I don't know we never caught one!
Johnny was great. I recently saw one with Foster Brooks. He was a bit before my time, but fun to see.
I remember Foster Brooks on the Jackie Gleason show. I had to ask my dad why he acted like grandpa.
Chandu
I Waxed The Badger.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn
He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Chandu
I Waxed The Badger.
Some guy tried to sell me a coffin. That's the last thing I need.
Again: "Sad" face = groan!
Owen Bawn
Garden party cupcake scented
Lately there's been a TV commercial on for a product alleged to help preserve the memory. The stuff is called Prevagen. Each time it's on I say to my wife "Every time we see this commercial I think I should try this stuff. Then as soon as the ad is over I forget all about it."
An Indian woman hitchhiking back to the Rez in the middle of the night was picked up by a white woman.
The Indian woman says - what are you doing out on the road this late?
She points to a brown paper bag and says - I got this bottle of wine for my husband.
Good trade.
The Indian woman says - what are you doing out on the road this late?
She points to a brown paper bag and says - I got this bottle of wine for my husband.
Good trade.
Chandu
I Waxed The Badger.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy.
My New Year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full..., with either rum, vodka or whiskey.
I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.
A man falls under a train and loses his entire left side of his body. He's all right now.
A baby was born the other night weighing in at 9 pounds. He also had 5 pound testicles. They say the baby is half nuts.
Man smashes index finger in car door and is in great pain. On the other hand, he's fine.
Man taken to hospital after he swallows toy horse. His condition is stable.
You can go from fat to fit, with one good vowel movement.
I wondered if Noah liked apples, then I realized he preferred pears.
I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.
A man falls under a train and loses his entire left side of his body. He's all right now.
A baby was born the other night weighing in at 9 pounds. He also had 5 pound testicles. They say the baby is half nuts.
Man smashes index finger in car door and is in great pain. On the other hand, he's fine.
Man taken to hospital after he swallows toy horse. His condition is stable.
You can go from fat to fit, with one good vowel movement.
I wondered if Noah liked apples, then I realized he preferred pears.
Q: How many cars are in a parking lot
when the lot is full?
A: A whole lot of cars.
when the lot is full?
A: A whole lot of cars.
"Ten Dollars, Father. Same as in town!"
Owen Bawn
Garden party cupcake scented
An old gem from Wales:
My wife said to me "You're shagging that girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllwyrndrobwyllllantisiliogogogoch, aren't you?"
I said "How could you say such a thing?"
My wife said to me "You're shagging that girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllwyrndrobwyllllantisiliogogogoch, aren't you?"
Great, now I have that YouTube song about how to pronounce that stuck in my head. It's quite an earworm.An old gem from Wales:
My wife said to me "You're shagging that girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllwyrndrobwyllllantisiliogogogoch, aren't you?"
I said "How could you say such a thing?"
