Ask skklog

[strat1117]

Dear Skkklog:

My dog tells me that the slugs in our garden are much darker than the silverfish in our neighbor's basement. For those of us who are watching our sodium intake, why do I have trouble sleeping at night?

Thank you.

 

[moonshine44]

If the square root of purple is Branson, Missouri, why do zebras sleep standing up except during the monsoon season?

 

[blackfoot]

If the square root of purple is Branson, Missouri, why do zebras sleep standing up except during the monsoon season?

You know, I've wondered about that myself.

 

[gollum83]

Dear Skkklog:

Are you going to answer our questions?

 

[skklog]

not tonight, I've got to think about these.

 

[Duckster]

not tonight, I've got to think about these.

Dear Abby wouldn't need time to think about them... I'm just sayin

 

[gollum83]

not tonight, I've got to think about these.

Well I guess we;ll just eagerly await your answers then.

Dear Abby wouldn't need time to think about them... I'm just sayin

Yeah but when did Dear Abby ever have to answer something as hard as this:

If the square root of purple is Branson, Missouri, why do zebras sleep standing up except during the monsoon season?

 

[blackfoot]

Dear Abby wouldn't need time to think about them... I'm just sayin

Well I guess we;ll just eagerly await your answers then.



Yeah but when did Dear Abby ever have to answer something as hard as this:

That's right. Dear Abbey only has to deal with life-altering "I want to die.", "Should I marry him?", "Should I quit my job?" questions. Not important issues like this. We demand some thought be put into these.

 

[Mr. Scruffy]

"Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married"

-John Prine

 

[skklog]

Q: My dog tells me that the slugs in our garden are much darker than the silverfish in our neighbor's basement. For those of us who are watching our sodium intake, why do I have trouble sleeping at night?


A: Dear strat1117

This is a big problem, you see the slugs in your garden are not darker than the silverfish in your neighbor's basement. The silverfish are darker than the slugs in your garden, so you can see now why this is bad news.
I’m worried about your dog’s motives as to why he gave you this false info. But we will have to see how that develops. Now as to your sodium intake, try sucking your toe’s so your dog will give you money to buy low sodium bacon. This will also help with your trouble sleeping. (It’s been long known that sucking your toe’s will help you sleep.

Hope this has been of help to you.

 

[skklog]

Q: If the square root of purple is Branson, Missouri, why do zebras sleep standing up except during the monsoon season?

A: Purple because ice cream has no bones.


Hope this has been of help to you.

 

[skklog]

Dear Abby wouldn't need time to think about them... I'm just sayin

Dear Abby an got squat on me

 

[gollum83]

What is your opinion of vegan bacon?

 

[strat1117]

Q: My dog tells me that the slugs in our garden are much darker than the silverfish in our neighbor's basement. For those of us who are watching our sodium intake, why do I have trouble sleeping at night?


A: Dear strat1117

This is a big problem, you see the slugs in your garden are not darker than the silverfish in your neighbor's basement. The silverfish are darker than the slugs in your garden, so you can see now why this is bad news.
I’m worried about your dog’s motives as to why he gave you this false info. But we will have to see how that develops. Now as to your sodium intake, try sucking your toe’s so your dog will give you money to buy low sodium bacon. This will also help with your trouble sleeping. (It’s been long known that sucking your toe’s will help you sleep.

Hope this has been of help to you.

Thank you, skkklog. One more question, if I may:

How much soundproofing is required to muffle the screams from my basement, so that the neighbors won't suspect?

Thank you.

 

[calcustom]

Is it better to wait till after sunset to use a cold receiver?

 

[gollum83]

Thank you, skkklog. One more question, if I may:

How much soundproofing is required to muffle the screams from my basement, so that the neighbors won't suspect?

Thank you.

Umm, what screams?

 

[strat1117]

Umm, what screams?

Come to the basement and I'll show you. . . .

 

[gollum83]

Come to the basement and I'll show you. . . .

No thanks. I'll pass.

 

[Mr. Scruffy]

Come to the basement and I'll show you. . . .

May I bring my chickens?

 

[skklog]

Q: What is your opinion of vegan bacon?

A: Vegan bacon? Do you see the word meatless in the pic!!
That’s all I’ll say to that