Advice Needed on Justifying to Others Why I Shave Every Day (or when I feel like it)

[Tat2d Bald Dude]

Ok, I apologize if this isn't the right area or even the right forum site for a question like this, but I was hoping to get some advice on a situation and see if anyone else has ever experienced the same situation or a similar situation.

I make it an effort to shave every single day, or AT LEAST every other day without fail. There have been times when I have been away from home though (primarily at my wife's parents' house for a holiday weekend or another weekend) and I've mentioned "Before we go run those errands/go see Aunt whoever and Uncle so-and-so, I've got to grab a quick shower and I've got to shave this mug of mine". SEVERAL times, I get/have gotten my wife's mother saying "Ehh, just shower. You don't need to shave. You look fine." (Note: Unless I've got 1-week old stubble, my wife's mother always thinks I look "fine" by her standards). At this point, I say "Thanks, but I'm really feelin' scuzzy, so I should probably just do a quick shave so I don't look like a bum". But then, she will chime right back with "Why? You look fine. Really...don't shave. Don't. You'll be fine." At this point, I start to lose the joking laughter and get a little bothered with her suggestion and hear a voice in the back of my head saying "Ok, not to be mean, but this isn't your face we're talking about...it's mine. And I shave when I feel like I need to shave and I've usually done it with little or no hesitation and no one else has ever tried to convince me to not shave, so I don't know why you seem to be."

In the past, I have listened to her and just showered, but then been miserable with my stubble the rest of that day, as well as felt not as confident about how I look in public that day, as I wanted to shave that morning.

So, a couple of questions...

-Does it sound like she's throwing her opinion of "how often I should shave" in where it doesn't belong or am I just overreacting?

-Assuming she is sticking her nose where it doesn't belong, how do I gentlemanly, yet effectively stand up to her and what do I say that won't make her start crying her eyes out? (which is not too far-fetched of an idea as she is VERY light-hearted and sensitive. She's always seemed to be abrasive towards others, but if you stand up to her, if you don't say the right thing, you'll come across as a jerk)

 

[luvmysuper]

The best solution to confrontation is to not have any.
I would suggest you just say your going to get "cleaned up" or that your going to shower. Don't mention shaving if it is a bone of contention. When your in the bathroom do your routine.
You don't have to explain or justify to anyone what your routine is.
Having said that, it ain't your house and it's the mother of your wife, so you have to use some common sense and tread lightly. Don't make a scene about her opinions clash with yours. Just smile and go do what you need to do.
Evasion tactics would suit you best here in my opinion.

 

[mmack66]

Sounds like in the amount of time spent discussing the matter with your MIL that you could have gotten in a quick shave.

 

[lurker]

If I skip a day my neck area gets very itchy and uncomfortable. I don't know if you are similarly afflicted, but it makes a good reason not to skip a day.

 

[Bertilak]

-Does it sound like she's throwing her opinion of "how often I should shave" in where it doesn't belong or am I just overreacting?

Without being more closely involved in this bit of family drama, I can see two ways of looking at it:

1. If you argue with her you will be overreacting. Simply state what you intend to do and do it. And that's just being polite so they know you aren't oblivious to what's going on. No need to justify your actions.
   
   
2. Now here is another possibility. Maybe they are in a hurry. Or, maybe it is not so much that they are in a hurry, but they just want to get on with things. Perhaps you should have showered and shaved a few hours ago so as to be ready for the day's activities without making everyone stop and wait.

I have seen BOTH situations in my family. We have someone who wants to make everyone's decisions for them and someone else who is never ready for anything. Both of these people tend to get left out of things. (I've probably said too much already!)

 

[bladebuff]

If you want to shave - shave! I prefer a clean shave every day and haven't missed a day since I started DE wet shaving over two years ago.

 

[Klopstick]

Or you can say that your gas mask won't seal properly if you don't shave and you don't want to take any chances.

Seriously, don't treat it like you are asking permission. You aren't. You are making a statement. "I'm going to get cleaned up before I go, back in a bit". If you get any pushback, remind them that you didn't ask their opinion and you aren't doing it for them.

 

[strat1117]

It sounds like you are empowering your mother-in-law by giving her the opportunity to opine in an area which, frankly, is none of her business. Just go do what you need to do and don't ask for her permission.

I shave every day almost without fail, and I don't feel that I require anyone else's approval before I do. Honestly, I can't imagine how your wife's mother could reasonably believe that she has any say in the matter, or why you should care if she does.

 

[Commander Quan]

Maybe it's those dark hairs that are starting to show on her chin, She just doesn't want your chin to be smoother than hers.

 

[Niles]

As someone said before me, holding other people up is not polite. So as long as time constraints are not a problem for others, I say do what you want when you want. It's your face.

 

[BobS]

The best solution to confrontation is to not have any.
I would suggest you just say your going to get "cleaned up" or that your going to shower. Don't mention shaving if it is a bone of contention. When your in the bathroom do your routine.
You don't have to explain or justify to anyone what your routine is.
Having said that, it ain't your house and it's the mother of your wife, so you have to use some common sense and tread lightly. Don't make a scene about her opinions clash with yours. Just smile and go do what you need to do.
Evasion tactics would suit you best here in my opinion.

+ 1 on this advice. The only other thing I would say is that I find it handy to make shaving part of my morning routine, as soon as I get out of bed, so it is not a question of having people wait for me to get ready.

 

[82R100]

By the time people see me in the morning, it's all been done. But I'm a morning person, so it's easier that way. It would honestly drive me crazy waiting for breakfast to be over before getting on with the shower and shave.

- Chris

 

[strat1117]

As someone said before me, holding other people up is not polite. So as long as time constraints are not a problem for others, I say do what you want when you want. It's your face.

Yes. I thought that went without saying, but obviously not. If you've been laying around the house doing nothing and then decide to shower shave when everyone else is ready to leave, well, that would be a different story. Then your mother-in-law would not be wrong in telling you to "move it."

 

[Sueto]

You don't need to justify your shaving. Your expectations of your appearance are perhaps greather than the mother in law. That is just your personal preference.

That being said and as others have stated, you are visiting their home. Just take care of your morning routine as you normally would. Don't wait until the last minute to take care of your S's. While visiting relatives you can just pretty much assume there will be an errand or something to go visiit so and so, might as well be prepared to go at a moments notice.

When visiting the in laws, I don't even bother to make any plans, just be ready to go somewhere. When visiting my parents, I have a plan to sit on the couch and observe the wife nearly pull her hair out because she doesn't know what to do since my family doesn't have a plan for anything. It's good times.

 

[jpkunst]

As others mentioned before, just shave as part of your morning routine after getting up.

 

[WhosYerBob]

I just say I'm going to make myself presentable, end of story. Also helps to anticipate the departure time and make sure I'm done in advance so there's no reason for a scene.

 

[Topgumby]

What you need to do is grab a handful of coffee grounds before you head to the bathroom.

Shave like you normally would, then slather some Vaseline on your mug and pat on those coffee grounds.

You get a fine shave, a moisturized face and when you trot downstairs to bid the MIL farewell, you look like Bill Mauldin's Willie and Joe, so she is thrilled with your stubbly, tramp-like look.

What could be simpler?

 

[spanx]

I have no way of knowing this,but mabye she thinks your a pig and you'll leave shaving scum in the sink.I hated it when my son would not clean the sink after shaving so to get around it I would say" You look fine the way you are" just so I wouldn't have to clean up after him.

 

[BROWNS]

"Because I ****'ing feel like it!"

That's all the justification you need to give anyone

 

[Hughies_online]

You don't need to justify shaving to anyone. But, if you absolutely must have to justify it, then tell her you like to look after your appearance and don't want her to get razor burn when you kiss her because you love her. Should win her over.