Women...ARGH!

[Hansel]

I'll NEVER understand them!!!

LOOONG story short:

I dated this girl a few years back, for about a year. We got along GREAT! We moved apart and mutually broke up, but agreed to stay friends, have kept in close touch, and have always acknowledged that we still had romantic feelings for each other but the fact that we'd never see eachother would make dating too difficult. We dated other people, and our relationships have all been dissatisfying and disappointing, and in her case, downright depressing. Because of this, we've both been out of the dating game for a while.

Well, just a few days ago, we had a conversation about "us" for lack of a better term. I explained that I had a new job, and now had both vacation time and the money to travel, and told her that I still loved her, and if she was willing to give it a second shot so was I.

Her objection to this was that she didn't feel this would be fair to me, that she's different than she used to be, and that if I knew her now I wouldn't want her back. When I asked her to explain, she told me it was too complicated to go into now, but some day she would try.

What the hell man!? Am I missing something? She's always been honest with me in the past, and while shes done a few things that I wouldn't do, none of it is enough to scare me off!

 

[mparker762]

She's no longer interested, possibly (probably) has somebody else already, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

 

[psychlopath]

Never EVER (!!) get mixed up with women.

Or..well, *I* would much rather have money, peace of mind, time and sanity than the alternative.

Hobbies, jobs, money, cars, booze...these things have never let me down.

Women on the other hand...

I'm almost thinking I'll be in the minority here...again.

 

[Baloosh]

The first response in this thread is the correct one. She's found someone else, but values your backup potential/friendship too much to level with you.

Time to move on bro.

 

[WhosYerBob]

The first response in this thread is the correct one. She's found someone else, but values your backup potential/friendship too much to level with you.

Time to move on bro.

+1 Yup - should've grabbed her when you had the chance.

 

[Stubblefield]

Her objection to this was that she didn't feel this would be fair to me, that she's different than she used to be, and that if I knew her now I wouldn't want her back. When I asked her to explain, she told me it was too complicated to go into now, but some day she would try.

The old "it's not you, it's me" line.

I'd move on.

 

[kopio]

Sorry dude....sounds like you got the Heisman!

 

[flylot]

She's always been honest with me in the past,

While you may believe this, I must tell you after 60 years on this earth and three wives (one passed away) that what you believe may not be true. Honesty in any relationship is a very rare commodity. Often marriages even after many years still lack honesty (please ask any clinical psychologist).

It appears to me that at least she thinks enough of you not to hurt you. Suck it up, and move on. Don't try to understand it, it will just drive you crazy.

The only advice I can give you is: Live is a short meaningless journey filled with emptiness and pain. Get laid as much as you can.

 

[KarthVader]

Never EVER (!!) get mixed up with women.

Or..well, *I* would much rather have money, peace of mind, time and sanity than the alternative.

Hobbies, jobs, money, cars, booze...these things have never let me down.

Women on the other hand...

I'm almost thinking I'll be in the minority here...again.

Nah man, you'd be surprised. I have felt mostly dissuaded by them as of late. Too much drama and no benefit in dealing with most of them.

Back to the OP: I know it sucks, but lots of time has gone by. You have dated other people. If you are looking to settle down, look somewhere else. She apparently values your friendship and doesn't want to hurt you, but she's just not that into you anymore. Unfortunately, it's time to move on and meet some new people.

 

[Nobeard]

I agree with the others who say that does not really want to get back with you.

She may look back at the good times that you had in the past. But for whatever reason, for her, it is the past.

So the current friendship is what it is. Don't try to make it into something that once was.

 

[Shane]

I'll echo the most popular sentiment here: time to move on.

This is your opportunity to be free and find someone better. Take it!

 

[orpheus]

The only advice I can give you is: Live is a short meaningless journey filled with emptiness and pain. Get laid as much as you can.

I think I have a new sig line!

 

[ouch]

Call me Jose.

 

[KarthVader]

Now that I look at it, I might be in the same situation as the OP. I now understand how he feels.

I'll let you all know in March if anything happens.

 

[Thebigspendur]

The trouble is men and women are truly different and most do not appreciate this fact and/or try to understand these differences.

Many would say that when people chase the perfect love for years and years they really use it as an excuse to avoid a true relationship chasing what they really know will never be.

Whether she has found another or has personal issues move on with your life dude.

 

[blackfoot]

Is it just me, or is there a lot of this going around lately?

 

[Uncle Erik]

You got blown off. Move on and find someone else.

Over the years, I've learned to drop them immediately when blown off. You never get anywhere trying to hang on and it only makes you miserable.

Even if you feel a little attached, you'll get over it in a few weeks. Faster, if you go out and meet others.

If a woman wants to hang onto you, she will. If she doesn't, move on.

 

[htownmmm]

Not only should you move on, but also keep yourself busy so that you don't need to turn to this 'friend'. If she has a problem being honest w/ you now, figure you got away fortunate.

Just the fact that you refrain from keeping up your normal schedule of contact will drive her batty; as long as she knows she has you on the hook, she will not be interested in rekindling any old feelings. However, the second she believes someone else has your attention(in your improved financial condition), she will want you back.

Being female however, as soon as you let her know you are willing to drop the other person, she will then get cold feet again(they live to change their minds)-so don't get involved w/ her again unless she is one of your great loves!

The question to answer is not can you live your life w/o her( of course you can) but can you live the rest of your life w/o her being in it? Only you can answer that question.


marty

 

[Legion]

Dude, do not, I repeat DO NOT pry into the reason why you would not want her back. If a woman who knows you well and who has always been honest with you does not feel like she can tell you the reason, it is because you DO NOT want to know. You will not like it, I guarantee it.

Trust me. Trust her that the answer to this question will upset you. Walk away. Curiosity always kills the cat.

 

[ouch]

Here's some tips on how to improve your situation.
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9YNI2PlJLQ[/YOUTUBE]