When I first noticed the Order of the Veg thread I was intrigued. I read the glowing reviews of this olfactory wonder and knew I had to have it. I wanted to share in the experience and join the ranks of the noble order.
I sought it out and found it, a single bottle in a discount pharmacy. It was so tightly sealed that I couldn’t sample it, but I bought it scent unsmelled. With much anticipation I opened it at home and took a whiff. Uuuuggghhh! was my first reaction.
Perhaps it was better when applied? I shaved as usual, rinsed off and splashed on a healthy dose. Still uuuggghhh!
An hour later, I smelled even worse. And I had 12 ozs. of the stuff. And then it hit me. I was pranked, it was a gag, I was suckered and now they all could have their big laugh at my smelly expense. Hah, hah.
But as the weeks went by I realized something: anyone who would go out in public willingly smelling like a jiffy-john was one courageous fellow. It took a real man to stink like that in polite company. I began to feel differently about it. Maybe that’s what the Order of the Veg is all about, brave men who go forth reeking of cat pee and funeral home unashamed of their stench, offending the nostrils of all they encounter without concern, secure in the self that lurks beneath the odor. It takes a real man to walk around smelling like this.
So fellow stinkers, be proud of your stink, wear it boldly, for it is the stench of honor, of dignity and, most of all, courage. All hail the Order of the Veg !!! I proudly proclaim my membership
I sought it out and found it, a single bottle in a discount pharmacy. It was so tightly sealed that I couldn’t sample it, but I bought it scent unsmelled. With much anticipation I opened it at home and took a whiff. Uuuuggghhh! was my first reaction.
Perhaps it was better when applied? I shaved as usual, rinsed off and splashed on a healthy dose. Still uuuggghhh!
An hour later, I smelled even worse. And I had 12 ozs. of the stuff. And then it hit me. I was pranked, it was a gag, I was suckered and now they all could have their big laugh at my smelly expense. Hah, hah.
But as the weeks went by I realized something: anyone who would go out in public willingly smelling like a jiffy-john was one courageous fellow. It took a real man to stink like that in polite company. I began to feel differently about it. Maybe that’s what the Order of the Veg is all about, brave men who go forth reeking of cat pee and funeral home unashamed of their stench, offending the nostrils of all they encounter without concern, secure in the self that lurks beneath the odor. It takes a real man to walk around smelling like this.
So fellow stinkers, be proud of your stink, wear it boldly, for it is the stench of honor, of dignity and, most of all, courage. All hail the Order of the Veg !!! I proudly proclaim my membership
