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Mark Twain's Italian Shave

I am a huge Mark Twain fan. I actually enjoy his nonfiction even more than his fiction (check out Roughing It). He wrote about getting shaved, while on his first trip to Europe. From The Innocents Abroad:

The boys sent for a barber. They asked me if I would be
shaved. I reminded them of my tortures in Genoa, Milan, Como; of my
declaration that I would suffer no more on Italian soil. I said "Not any
for me, if you please."

I wrote on. The barber began on the doctor. I heard him say:

"Dan, this is the easiest shave I have had since we left the ship."

He said again, presently:

"Why Dan, a man could go to sleep with this man shaving him."

Dan took the chair. Then he said:

"Why this is Titian. This is one of the old masters."

I wrote on. Directly Dan said:

"Doctor, it is perfect luxury. The ship's barber isn't any thing to

My rough beard was distressing me beyond measure. The barber was rolling
up his apparatus. The temptation was too strong. I said:

"Hold on, please. Shave me also."

I sat down in the chair and closed my eyes. The barber soaped my face,
and then took his razor and gave me a rake that well nigh threw me into
convulsions. I jumped out of the chair: Dan and the doctor were both
wiping blood off their faces and laughing.

I said it was a mean, disgraceful fraud.

They said that the misery of this shave had gone so far beyond any thing
they had ever experienced before, that they could not bear the idea of
losing such a chance of hearing a cordial opinion from me on the subject.

It was shameful. But there was no help for it. The skinning was begun
and had to be finished. The tears flowed with every rake, and so did the
fervent execrations. The barber grew confused, and brought blood every
time. I think the boys enjoyed it better than any thing they have seen
or heard since they left home.


FarmerStan the Man
I don't believe there was a better author from the US of A than Mark Twain. Some close ones (Steinbeck, Heinlein, far behind) but Twain is in a class by himself. Thanks for sharing this my friend!

If you can read that and not relate to that story I feel sorry for you, because you have never had a true male friendship if you can't!

A TRUE male never matures past about 13 and a half years old!
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