Jokes that make you groan
- Thread starter Captain Pre-Capsize
- Start date
This one cracked me up, it may have been posted on this forum some time in the past, but I didn't write or draw it so I'm not too concerned:
The Springsteen original is pretty clear, it took Manfred Mann to turn it into an ad for a feminine hygiene product.
The genie asked, 'What’s your first wish?'
Steve replied, 'I wish I was rich!'
The genie nodded and said, 'What’s your second wish?'
Rich exclaimed, 'I want lots of money!
Steve replied, 'I wish I was rich!'
The genie nodded and said, 'What’s your second wish?'
Rich exclaimed, 'I want lots of money!
I built a model of Mount Everest, and my friend asked, 'Is it to scale?'
I replied, 'No… it’s just to look at.
I replied, 'No… it’s just to look at.
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding.
She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again.
She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again.
I think the girl at the airline check-in counter threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, 'Window or aisle?'
I laughed in her face and said, 'Window or you’ll what?
She looked me dead in the eye and said, 'Window or aisle?'
I laughed in her face and said, 'Window or you’ll what?
What did the turkey say to the farmer?
“Why isn’t there anything in my calendar after November?”
“Why isn’t there anything in my calendar after November?”
The inventor of umbrella was going to call it the brella. But he hesitated.
I went to a pub on the Moon last night.
I didn't really like it.
There was no atmosphere.
I didn't really like it.
There was no atmosphere.
Are you interested in current affairs?
I really can't say. I have never had an affair with a currant.
I really can't say. I have never had an affair with a currant.
I'm stealing this for my next flight
I read an article about people--men and women--who have been getting cosmetic surgery during the pandemic. It used to be that you couldn't talk openly about cosmetic surgery. Now nobody raises an eyebrow.
How do you think I stay so incredibly handsome?!?
I've had so many facelifts I have to walk backwards. True story doggone!
I knew a girl that frequently got face lifts.
One day she showed up with a new dimple on her chin.
I asked her why she decided to get a dimple and she said it wasn't a dimple, it was her belly button.
One day she showed up with a new dimple on her chin.
I asked her why she decided to get a dimple and she said it wasn't a dimple, it was her belly button.
When I met her she had a gotee
Took a bit to get that. Hilarious!
I think I heard Phyllis Diller tell that one
