I think my marriage is strong enough to survive a few pairs of sneakers being mailed to my house.
Shoes?
Shoes on the other hand, they get mailed to the office.
Hey… I’m not crazy.
If Mrs. Gold said “buy both”, I would hire a private eye and start having her followed.
If Mrs. Gold said “neither, get out of my house!” then I would know all is well while I was eating waffles at the nearest Hampton Inn.
A wise man.