Humorous relationship sayings.

[J. Roger]

There are often young guys here looking for relationship advice.

I thought it would be funny to list old humorous relationship sayings.

Obviously, a lot of them are often crude and rude, but lets try to keep them clean.




One of my favorites is:

A princess doesn't want a king
A princess doesn't want a prince
A princess wants a valet (servant)

 

[Captain Pre-Capsize]

I'm going way back to high school here but if a buddy was dating some gal we always referred to him as "whipped" as in defeated.

 

[Legion]

I had a married mate who referred to his bed as "the workbench".

 

[Argonaut]

One of my favorites that is essential to a happy marriage, "Honey, grab me another beer."

 

[rockviper]

When I found Mrs. Right, I didn't realize her first name was "Always."

 

[Toothpick]

I might have heard this around here referencing marriage: you can be happy or you can be right.

 

[Jim]

"No Man is complete until he is married,.... then he is finished."

Mae West

 

[98Formula]

Someone once asked me why the "War Department" was calling me. It was the i.d. on the cell for the wife at the time.

 

[rushchairman]

“When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions -
they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.”

george bernard shaw (who himself remained married for over 50 years)

 

[WesternModern]

You can work up your appetite walking around town, just make sure you have dinner at home.

Garrison Keillor

 

[BBrad]

Happy wife . . . happy life!

"Honey, grab me another beer" never worked for me . . . I tried it once, and she told me when I was ready to get off my lazy rear and get my own damned beer I could bring her back a coke while I was at it!

 

[Carlos83]

If a person married he want to be in a relationship.But when a person got a relationship than he want to be a single.I don't know what is the phenomenon Behind it.Can anybody explain it?

 

[Infernal2]

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

 

[Patman27]

A bit of a joke (and perspective) for those high school gents (not advised for the post-school years):

'Girls are like buses, a new one comes along every hour.'

 

[Lather]

I have 2:

Cheaper to keep her. And...

The three rings of marriage: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.