Gentleman's Essentials: Table Manners

[Isaias]

I was going to say to ladies about table manners...
Do not apply lipstick while you are at the table. Excuse your self and go to the bathroom...
but since this is a gentelmant forum...
Do not apply lipstick.
Ever.
Please.

 

[Carlin]

bump

 

[Stubblefield]

I'm an American and I always eat that way. I'm right handed, but apparently it's uncommon enough here in the States that when eating out with acquaintances I am routinely asked if I'm left handed because my fork never leaves my left hand.

And I'm left-handed and same thing, holding my fork in my right hand.

 

[tsmba]

I had table manners drilled into me when I was a kid, thankfully. Whenever I eat out, its so easy to see how many were not so fortunate. Cracker Barrel is a good place to people-watch....and the folks who walk in with hats on their heads, cell phones ringing (if not already in use).....etc., etc. Sometimes I feel old-fashioned, maybe its just no longer important. Its a shame!

 

[Carlin]

I had table manners drilled into me when I was a kid, thankfully. Whenever I eat out, its so easy to see how many were not so fortunate. Cracker Barrel is a good place to people-watch....and the folks who walk in with hats on their heads, cell phones ringing (if not already in use).....etc., etc. Sometimes I feel old-fashioned, maybe its just no longer important. Its a shame!

I've only been to cracker barrel once and thats why I don't go back again.

 

[tsmba]

I couldn't do half of what the average clod does at Cracker Barrel. I simply envision my grandmother swooping down from Heaven to knock my elbow off the table, yell at me about taking off the hat, etc. and I'm cured.
Call me old-fashioned, but when I walk by some clod who is laying on the table, shoveling in food with his(her) hat on, cell-phone in hand, I get the willies!

 

[ClubmanRob]

Last year, I had an American to visit for business. He was a nice guy. We went to a great local restaurant, because he was paying (heh), so we picked a really good venue (The Old Parsonage, if you know Oxford). He didn't turn off his 'phone, and kept answering it. OK, I can deal with that. It happens.

Then he started tapping away on his laptop.

I had to restrain myself from jumping over the table and forking his hands. That wouldn't have been polite of me.

Please don't think this is typical of American dining etiquette. This would have been considered rude here as well, except possibly at a casual business lunch.

Oh yes. The knife is your little controlling instrument, with which you elegantly load your fork. Without it, you are pushing food around your plate like a 3-year-old.

What was that about redundant dining habits that don't have a basis in utility? This would be one of them. I also only ever hold my fork in my right hand. Why then, when the majority of us are right handed (I'm ambidextrous, so I have no "dog in the fight" so to speak) is it considered proper etiquette to use the hand more likely to make a mess in your plate? Strange custom, one that most Americans don't follow.

One that I could never understand was when all of the diners stand up while someone excuses themselves from the table. I refuse to do this, no matter who I am dining with (unless my seating is preventing them from exiting the table). I'm happy to see that I am not alone in this either. One day, this strange and useless function shall be eliminated.

 

[Wendy]

I may have to make my husband read this thread. He has the WORST table manners in town. My 3 yr old tells him what he is doing wrong at the table at least 3-5 times per meal. I want to shake him and remind him that he is 37 not 7.

 

[RichGem]

I may have to make my husband read this thread. He has the WORST table manners in town. My 3 yr old tells him what he is doing wrong at the table at least 3-5 times per meal. I want to shake him and remind him that he is 37 not 7.

ditto for my 8-yr-old nephew. I'd be happy, nay more than thrilled, if he'd just keep his mouth (lips) closed while chewing and not talk with food in his mouth. Even his 4 yr old sister corrects him. (She, naturally, eats like a perfect princess.)

 

[Sue]

I never went to lunch again with a friend who talked with food in her mouth and chewed with her mouth open. YUK!!!

Hats bug me. Sitting at a picnic table outside doesn't bother me but indoors in a restaurant or home looks like a moron.
Sue

 

[RazorDingo]

People chewing with their mouth open is the most offensive thing I see on a regular basis.

On more than one occasion, I've noticed an otherwise quite attractive woman eating at a restaurant, and had the entire impression ruined when I was treated to the sight of her chomping away on her half-masticated food.

The whole fork-in-the-left vs. right thing is sorta silly and dated. Nowadays I'm plesantly surprised to see most people using any utensil at, and that goes for chocolate pudding and vicheysoisse too.

At a nice restaurant, gentlemen really ought to remove their hats (strange how they are always baseball caps when they don't) before sitting down.

If you are travelling to Japan or some other country where they have different customs - its generally a good idea to read up on them beforehand.

 

[TonyH]

Never rub another man's rhubarb.

 

[Wendy]

Hats bug me. Sitting at a picnic table outside doesn't bother me but indoors in a restaurant or home looks like a moron.
Sue

Once again talking about my husband.

 

[RichGem]

Once again talking about my husband.

Soooo... lotsa family therapy happening around here today?

 

[Wendy]

Soooo... lotsa family therapy happening around here today?

You do not know the half of it : ) LOL She is going to help me bury him later and come up with a good alibi.

 

[RichGem]

You do not know the half of it : ) LOL She is going to help me bury him later and come up with a good alibi.

oh just great. and thanks for making me an accomplice before the fact.

 

[SRock]

I'm an American and I always eat that way. I'm right handed, but apparently it's uncommon enough here in the States that when eating out with acquaintances I am routinely asked if I'm left handed because my fork never leaves my left hand.

+1 If I'm using a knife my fork never leaves my left hand.

No need to apologize. You did an excellent job.

+1

I was going to say to ladies about table manners...
Do not apply lipstick while you are at the table. Excuse your self and go to the bathroom...
but since this is a gentelmant forum...
Do not apply lipstick.
Ever.
Please.

I never went to lunch again with a friend who talked with food in her mouth and chewed with her mouth open. YUK!!!

Hats bug me. Sitting at a picnic table outside doesn't bother me but indoors in a restaurant or home looks like a moron.
Sue

A gentleman removes a hat indoors. Obviously in his own home there are exceptions, but if I'm a guest in your house the hat comes off as I cross the threshold. This would never be an issue at the dinner table.

 

[dwnwrdishvnwrd]

I live in AZ where it's hot as blazes.

I'll second that.

When I get home I strip down to shorts and nothing else.

It's an AZ tradition.

And after five years aboard ship I have the art of wolfing down a meal in record time down pat if need be.

I'm not on ship but I understand the need to expedite said meal into the stomach.

I'm just a hayseed, hick, countryboy, with a good sense of humor. Love me as I am.

I remember when Buckeye was the place to go to throw parties in high school because of all the open land. I grew up in Waddell. Living in the sticks was the way to go!

 

[tsmba]

I hope I'm not the only one who detests cell-phone use in restaurants. I dislike hearing them ring, especially little tunes. Who wants to try eating while someone chatters away at the table?

 

[RichGem]

I hope I'm not the only one who detests cell-phone use in restaurants. I dislike hearing them ring, especially little tunes. Who wants to try eating while someone chatters away at the table?

even worse: when you're at the same table with that clod.