On occasion, my wife and I will be out on the town. And on occasion a lovely, well dressed lady will saunter by, and my head will turn on reflex and I will comment, "What a lovely lady. So well dressed and such poise." And my wife will turn to me and promptly comment, "Men are always the first to say how nice it is to see a lovely well dressed lady. But you know, a woman enjoys seeing a well dressed man as well." And I go back to sipping my coffee that is the end of the conversation. Why does it hurt so much when I know she is right?
A comment from my wife...
- Thread starter Rusty Blade
- Start date
Because you subconsciously don't want her looking at a well dressed man?
- Thread starter
- #3
On the contrary...I am the first to acknowledge a good looking well dressed man as well. Its just that they are far less frequent!
Kinda like trying to pick out the best dressed Emperor penguin as the parameters that define well dressed for males are so narrow to begin with.
dave
dave
I would say percentage wise women are much more concerned with fashion then men.
Personally as long as I feel clean and well groomed, I'm good. Fashion is not part of the equation.
Personally as long as I feel clean and well groomed, I'm good. Fashion is not part of the equation.
kelbro
Alfred Spatchcock
Wives are full of comments.
Yes they are, they know how to cut you down to size very quickly. LOTH does it to me quite often and I really don’t think she realises that she is doing it.
Im taking that she meant women like to see well-dressed men too but most men dont take the time to look good? Id say shes right and that for the most part women think much more about their appearance and fashion than men do.
Ever since I got into wet shaving, my wife noticed well-groomed men more than she used to. I think it kind of annoys her sometimes that Ive made her notice things that she never used to notice. I maintain a full beard but keep my neckline shaved and now it annoys when a man has a beard and doesnt shave his neck. She told me one time that one of her coworkers is like this and now, ever day, she wants to say to him, "just shave your neck! Its so gross when you dont!" and she appreciates a man who has a well-groomed beard.
Ever since I got into wet shaving, my wife noticed well-groomed men more than she used to. I think it kind of annoys her sometimes that Ive made her notice things that she never used to notice. I maintain a full beard but keep my neckline shaved and now it annoys when a man has a beard and doesnt shave his neck. She told me one time that one of her coworkers is like this and now, ever day, she wants to say to him, "just shave your neck! Its so gross when you dont!" and she appreciates a man who has a well-groomed beard.
- Thread starter
- #9
Your interpretation of my wife's comment is correct. Women enjoy seeing a good looking well dressed man as much as we enjoy seeing a good looking well dressed woman. And you are also correct that women pay more attention to how they dress than men...in my opinion. It does remind me to take my dress up a notch. At least I can say I am always clean shaven and mustache is waxed and trim.
I think its difficult for men because for years, if a man was really into grooming, he was seen as being less manly.
I know that I have way more grooming products than most men probably do and from time to time my wife's friends will ask me about it and there is a hint of them poking fun at me for it, as if Im somehow a little bit girly for it.
Usually once they actually talk to me about it and see all the really cool gear that I have, they understand.
Just last weekend, one of her friends asked me about my beard products. Once I explained to her the purpose of all of my beard washes, conditioners, oils, balms and brushes; she got it and said she wished her husband did something to soften his beard.
In some ways, I think what gets lost in the shuffle of society today when we become more aware of the struggles that women face is that often men still get viewed in some very outdated ways, which manifests itself in, "toxic masculinity". I fully support women, the me too movement and bringing down the patriarchy but I also feel like people need to be aware of the struggles that men face in what society views as what it is to be a man and how men often feel pressure to seem, "manly", even if its not always the best for their own well-being. Just a thought, not trying to get all political here.
- Thread starter
- #11
Good post. I agree. I actually enjoy grooming. And I enjoy all my grooming gear and rituals. And for me that is a major step forward from where I used to be. And I understand women like looking at well groomed men. It is only natural. When I dress up, tend to my grooming and wax my mustache I often get comments from women saying how nice I look. And for a man of my age that is a treat. Most of the time when I get a compliment it can carry me through the day with a smile.
tankerjohn
A little poofier than I prefer
I really don't understand where this attitude comes from. It wasn't all that long ago that being well groomed and stylishly dressed (different from fashionable) was part in parcel with manliness. Think James Bond, Cary Grant, Marines in dress blues, motorcops on parade. A well tailored suit or uniform accentuates a man's shoulders and makes him look taller, stronger, and more imposing. It used to be that having unkempt hair and beard was a magnet for dirt and lice. Even in modern times, good grooming indicates good hygiene. It never hurts to smell nice too. Maybe our casual culture has run amuck or men nowadays are too lazy or insecure to care about how they present themselves. Well, I think that's a mistake.
- Thread starter
- #13
I have often tried to pinpoint when this shift happened. Back in the day, being dressed up even for casual events was quite common. Then somewhere along the way, it seems unkempt and unshaven and sloppy clothes became the fashion. Maybe it was the 60s or 70s. Anti-establishment, down with the man, no one is going to tell me how to dress etc. etc. And it hasn't improved since. Now pajamas and Crocs are considered high fashion.
ZZTop said it. Everybody crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man. I am almost sixty and can no longer fit into my Marine Corps dress blues (or greens, or whites) but that doesn't mean I can't put on a pair of slacks, a sportcoat, and shine up the Allen-Edmonds.
It gets ALMOST as many looks from young woman as do the motorcycle leathers.
It gets ALMOST as many looks from young woman as do the motorcycle leathers.
I'd put it back another decade to 50's and it 's continued on since then. Pop culture made the outlier, the loner, the anti-establishment archetype, the bad boy into the hero. Marlon Brando, James Dean,'s Elvis Presley are the few i can name from that era. It may have started even earlier but i've no familiarity with earlier eras.
dave
I believe the shift started in the late 60's. Then it all went to heck when "grunge" bands became popular.
Now get off my lawn!
Now get off my lawn!
There are a lot fewer attractive people walkin' down the avenue than there used to be.
I'm still stuck in 1993 multi-layer thrift store chic... quite probable some of the layers 80's vintage, 'til death do us part.
dave
I think the seeds were sewn back then but ... the real sea change came later.
Back in the 50's and 60's, it was the loner, the anti-establishment rebel, the hippie, who did that. "Normal people" didn't. People who didn't fit into those outlier categories still "dressed up" for important occasions, or for work, or what have you.
IMHO it was the "dress down eighties" where things really went mainstream. Just one example ...
In the 70's, this is what a crimefighting policeman in Hawaii "looked like" according to Hollywood ...
The 80's hit, and what do we have?
... and so now, now what does that "same" cop in Hawaii look like, according to Hollywood?
Yes, there were "dress down cops" before or concurrent with Jack Lord but ... Jack Lord still looked "appropriate" and "propper". Back then, the "dress down cops" were the "rebels" ...
... whereas sometime in the 80's/90's it became acceptable for the non-rebel cops ... not just the guys on the beat, but the higher-ups in charge ... to be dress-down.
That comment can go one of two ways. How glowingly did you compliment your wife that evening?
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