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Brush Ballads Contest #8 (Australia and New Zealand Only)
- Thread starter SRock
- Start date
- Status
iSnack, bleech 
Here we go
Plagiarise Waltzing Matilda ...........(sort of)
Verse 1
Once a jolly miner stood by a steaming bowl
Stropped his new blade one, two, three
Clopped up some French soap
Soaked up his badger brush
I'll try a straight shave and post on B&B
Chorus
Bee & Bee
Bee & Bee
I'll go a posting on B&B
And the regulars will laugh as the noobs cry
When they learn of my exploits
on the B&B
Verse 2
Slapped on the creamy foam
Opened up the gleaming blade
Went at the whiskers with lots of glee
Accidently cut my nose, claret flowed like a hose.....
Folk are going to love this on the B&B
Chorus
Verse 3
Tried to go across the grain
Missed the whiskers, lots of pain
My smile is a lot wider
Than it used to be
(Pause .. sigh and maybe even cry if you like !!)
I guess it is time to post on the B&B
Chorus
Verse 4
Got some really good advice
Changed my grip, now not like a vice
BBS is as easy as one two three
Now a jolly Miner stands by the steaming bowl
Happy that he posted on the B&B
Chorus
Cheers
Plagiarise Waltzing Matilda ...........(sort of)
Verse 1
Once a jolly miner stood by a steaming bowl
Stropped his new blade one, two, three
Clopped up some French soap
Soaked up his badger brush
I'll try a straight shave and post on B&B
Chorus
Bee & Bee
Bee & Bee
I'll go a posting on B&B
And the regulars will laugh as the noobs cry
When they learn of my exploits
on the B&B
Verse 2
Slapped on the creamy foam
Opened up the gleaming blade
Went at the whiskers with lots of glee
Accidently cut my nose, claret flowed like a hose.....
Folk are going to love this on the B&B
Chorus
Verse 3
Tried to go across the grain
Missed the whiskers, lots of pain
My smile is a lot wider
Than it used to be
(Pause .. sigh and maybe even cry if you like !!)
I guess it is time to post on the B&B
Chorus
Verse 4
Got some really good advice
Changed my grip, now not like a vice
BBS is as easy as one two three
Now a jolly Miner stands by the steaming bowl
Happy that he posted on the B&B
Chorus
Cheers
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iSnack, bleech
I sent in Vegemite Cheezy ****e
Didn't get selected for some reason.
Cheers
Because of the Epicness of everyone elses Ballads my final entry will just be a amalgamation of my two pathetic "sprints"
Obviously my brain is a sprinter not a long distance thinker .
My limerick however will stay as an entity to itself
( How's that for a last ditch pathetic effort to make the cut for the final 5
)
Good Luck everyone !!!!!
The Ballad of Outback Butterscotch
"They start off white"
the drover said
"And then they start to mellow.
A chemical reaction
makes the catalin go yellow"
He took his brumby far and wide
In search of yellow candy.
Through forest, bush and river beds
And deserts that were sandy.
From outback station city and bush
In search of the perfect brush
He tried all manner of bristle and hair
To give him lather most lush.
Hair of Thylacine, Drop bear and Roo
Koala and Yowie, Devil too
He found that badger was a farce
The finest bristle was from a Bunyip's ars......
Until his dying days he searched
His eyes always awatch
His life ambition was to find
Elusive Butterscotch.
Obviously my brain is a sprinter not a long distance thinker .
My limerick however will stay as an entity to itself
( How's that for a last ditch pathetic effort to make the cut for the final 5
) Good Luck everyone !!!!!
The Ballad of Outback Butterscotch
"They start off white"
the drover said
"And then they start to mellow.
A chemical reaction
makes the catalin go yellow"
He took his brumby far and wide
In search of yellow candy.
Through forest, bush and river beds
And deserts that were sandy.
From outback station city and bush
In search of the perfect brush
He tried all manner of bristle and hair
To give him lather most lush.
Hair of Thylacine, Drop bear and Roo
Koala and Yowie, Devil too
He found that badger was a farce
The finest bristle was from a Bunyip's ars......
Until his dying days he searched
His eyes always awatch
His life ambition was to find
Elusive Butterscotch.
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OK. This seems like a pleasant way to spend a Saturday morning. I'm in.
The tale of Davey's fight.
Come gather round the fire, boys.
I'll tell you all a tale.
Of a creature so fearsome, boys,
he'd make a drover wail.
Now this creature, he is quite a sight,
with claws a teeth and spines.
He's sixteen feet high, they say,
and he lives just down those mines.
He makes a sound like a banshees howl
and it'll make your bladder weak.
It's the fearsome Platta-badger-roo
of Walla-Walla creek.
Now some say he has magic fur
but don't be in a rush.
'cause you better think twice, my mates,
before hunting down that brush.
Although the shave may be so close,
with barely just one pass,
to rub your chin your chin will feel as smooth
as a new born babies arse.
To hunt it down you'd be a fool.
To kill it no one can.
No one's made it back alive.
Well, maybe just one man...
It was in the winter of thirty two.
Davey was his name.
Shoulders two ax handles wide,
but the bugger was insane.
"I'll have that Platta-badger-roo"
said Davey one drunken night.
He stood and pulled his hat down low,
streamlined for a fight.
"I need a brush, if I'm to shave,
because I'm going to the dances.
I hear that there will be shiellas there
and a shave might improve my chances."
So off he went, down to the mines,
without a backward glance.
His mates all thought of chasing him,
but instead just messed their pants.
Three hours passed, maybe four,
before Davey boy returned.
His arm was broke, his knuckles bled
and his backside had been burned.
He staggered up and fell right down,
almost landed in the fire.
His mates all rushed him a tall cold beer
because his health was looking dire.
"I almost won" Davey croaked,
taking a painful sip.
"I had him by the long white fur,
a fist full of silvertip!"
"We fought and fought for half the night
but the bugger never tired.
He wont ever be NO mans brush..."
And with that Davey expired.
So take my warning, all you boys,
from my story, true though weird.
It is the reason why we swaggies now
invariably have beards.
This needs to be read with a broad Australian accent for full effect. Cheers
The tale of Davey's fight.
Come gather round the fire, boys.
I'll tell you all a tale.
Of a creature so fearsome, boys,
he'd make a drover wail.
Now this creature, he is quite a sight,
with claws a teeth and spines.
He's sixteen feet high, they say,
and he lives just down those mines.
He makes a sound like a banshees howl
and it'll make your bladder weak.
It's the fearsome Platta-badger-roo
of Walla-Walla creek.
Now some say he has magic fur
but don't be in a rush.
'cause you better think twice, my mates,
before hunting down that brush.
Although the shave may be so close,
with barely just one pass,
to rub your chin your chin will feel as smooth
as a new born babies arse.
To hunt it down you'd be a fool.
To kill it no one can.
No one's made it back alive.
Well, maybe just one man...
It was in the winter of thirty two.
Davey was his name.
Shoulders two ax handles wide,
but the bugger was insane.
"I'll have that Platta-badger-roo"
said Davey one drunken night.
He stood and pulled his hat down low,
streamlined for a fight.
"I need a brush, if I'm to shave,
because I'm going to the dances.
I hear that there will be shiellas there
and a shave might improve my chances."
So off he went, down to the mines,
without a backward glance.
His mates all thought of chasing him,
but instead just messed their pants.
Three hours passed, maybe four,
before Davey boy returned.
His arm was broke, his knuckles bled
and his backside had been burned.
He staggered up and fell right down,
almost landed in the fire.
His mates all rushed him a tall cold beer
because his health was looking dire.
"I almost won" Davey croaked,
taking a painful sip.
"I had him by the long white fur,
a fist full of silvertip!"
"We fought and fought for half the night
but the bugger never tired.
He wont ever be NO mans brush..."
And with that Davey expired.
So take my warning, all you boys,
from my story, true though weird.
It is the reason why we swaggies now
invariably have beards.
This needs to be read with a broad Australian accent for full effect. Cheers
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- Thread starter
- #48
there once was a mod in japan
on a volcano he threw a man
he shoots around corners
has MMA slaughters
and has the power to ban
There you go bertie, didnt want you feeling left out of the fun
on a volcano he threw a man
he shoots around corners
has MMA slaughters
and has the power to ban
There you go bertie, didnt want you feeling left out of the fun
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There once was a Mod Slaglerock
Who people were too scared to mock
When he shaved with a Fusion
There was so much confusion
His mod privileges should have been locked.
Who people were too scared to mock
When he shaved with a Fusion
There was so much confusion
His mod privileges should have been locked.
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- Thread starter
- #51
And thats a lock. Nice job on this contest Slagle!
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