Saying & Writing THANK YOU out of vogue

[DesertIguana]

Younger generation, and many older generation never say or write THQANK YOU NOTES.. Am I wrong to think this is still the right thing to do when someone help s you, does you favor, or give you freebee, or present.

Recently had two Step Grandsons marry, Grandma gave both Checks, that were never acknowledges. Un-greats had no problem cashing checks but never sent thank you.

Maybe I am old school, but was raise to say thank you, and send thank you to people who help and gift me something.

 

[Omega48]

Thank you.

 

[Barley]

This trend extends way beyond thank you notes, and I do not see it getting any better.

It's easy for me to dismiss younger generations, but at least some of them just don't know any better. My technique is to usually give the young person the benefit of the doubt and allow them to remediate. In your case, maybe a note saying: "Hey, just wanted to confirm you received our gift. I hadn't heard from you but saw that the check was cashed, so I wanted to make sure you received it in good order."

If they take the bait and respond and thank you, maybe you just taught them a life lesson. If not, then you tried your best, and you can focus your efforts on a more receptive audience.

 

[luvmysuper]

If not, then you tried your best, and you can focus your efforts and money on a more grateful audience.

My edit!

 

[DesertIguana]

This trend extends way beyond thank you notes, and I do not see it getting any better.

It's easy for me to dismiss younger generations, but at least some of them just don't know any better. My technique is to usually give the young person the benefit of the doubt and allow them to remediate. In your case, maybe a note saying: "Hey, just wanted to confirm you received our gift. I hadn't heard from you but saw that the check was cashed, so I wanted to make sure you received it in good order."

If they take the bait and respond and thank you, maybe you just taught them a life lesson. If not, then you tried your best, and you can focus your efforts on a more receptive audience.

Well the younger generation is what they are because of how they are raised, and the standards parents hold em too. Think parenting or lack of is problem.

 

[Mr5x5]

Younger generation, and many older generation never say or write THQANK YOU NOTES.. Am I wrong to think this is still the right thing to do when someone help s you, does you favor, or give you freebee, or present.

Recently had two Step Grandsons marry, Grandma gave both Checks, that were never acknowledges. Un-greats had no problem cashing checks but never sent thank you.

Maybe I am old school, but was raise to say thank you, and send thank you to people who help and gift me something.

Unfortunately, I see this all too often. Writing of thank you notes was done before I ever wore, used, spent etc. whatever was gifted to me. Tried to teach our kids the same thing with some success. They will text or phone to say thank you, but the use of snail mail is unheard of.

Also a dish is never returned empty when someone provides a meal.

 

[DesertIguana]

Well like I said before it is how the parent teach & raise children. Many times I am out and about, and encounter kids out shopping with parent who are totally out of control. Parent have no control, the children are in charge, only because raising them properly is too much work.

My stand advise to parents is spending time on raising kids to be good citizens, is cheaper then a defense lawyer.

 

[Barley]

Well the younger generation is what they are because of how they are raised, and the standards parents hold em too. Think parenting or lack of is problem.

Agree!

 

[DesertIguana]

Well I recall when working in medical field interviewing many people for a position on my shift I supervised in Respiratory Therapy Dept, can count on one hand the few people who said thank you for the opportunity to interview.

My rule to our secretary was to after we hired to send a note to all that applied, even those who never got an interview, saying position was filled, and thanking them for their interest in position at hospital.

 

[Lightcs1776]

I tried, and failed, to get my kids into the habit of writing thank you notes. Cards in general are not as common. Personally, I don’t miss them as they just get tossed, except the cards I received after my Dad’s passing last January. Those hold special meaning. One son and his wife sent a thank you notes to my wife and I after their wedding. I was really surprised as it isn’t the norm. Most thank you notes these days are via email or social media rather than hand written cards or notes.

 

[Mojo88]

People make time for who they want to make time for. People text, call and reply to people they want to talk to. Never believe anyone who says they're too busy. If they wanted to be around you, they would.

The saying above is what I tell my wife.

We are not an ATM and if someone doesn’t acknowledge our birthdays or anniversary we don’t acknowledge theirs. Years of cards and cash were sent with not even a response.

It’s been a lot of tears and frustration for her, but she finally stopped sending cards and money.

 

[Russ622]

I will be honest, I for one hated writing thank you notes when I was growing up(I will be 52 in June). I never understood the point, when I received the gift I thanked the person personally to their face, if a gift or card were sent in the mail I called them to thank them, and 9 times out of 10 we would end up talking for a good 10 to 15 minutes about all sorts of things. I actually feel that a thank you note is impersonal. I have made sure that my three kids learned to call and say thank you or to thank in person, never made them write a note.

As far as being thanked for things. Yeah if there is no acknowledgement of the gift/favor it makes me think twice about gifting/favoring that person again.

The biggest thing that still gets me from time to time is when “No Problem” is the response to Thank you. My daughter who is 26 says that there is nothing wrong it. Drives me bonkers sometimes

 

[DesertIguana]

My Ex-wife worked for big 8 CPA firm years ago, every year they were bombarded with resumes, applications for a few Staff Position form graduate accounting students. The first step in becoming CPA working as Staff position. They only interview cream of crop, had an active on campus recruit program to recruit from better schools.

After the hiring process was completed, all New Staff Positions were filled, the firm would send each person who applied, sent resume, or was interview on campus, or in office. Nice letter say they had hire, and thanking them for applying with firm.

Bottom line this was planting seeds of positive experience with the firm. As many times these people were in position later to need service of big 8 for SEC Audit, or?


The firm felt if they were nice, wrote thank you note that were creating positive experience. Maybe years later the person who did not make cut was controller, or cfo of company, and one in need of hiring a big 8. Who would you remember better firm you hear nothing from, or the one that sent note to you?

Thank you notes IMHO are important, think not, ok, your entitled to your opinion.

 

[Space_Cadet]

When I was in University there were scholarships funded by Jewish families from USA. When I was chosen to receive the money, they told me I have to write a thank you letter to the donor. Today I understand this and think it's the right thing to do, but when I was very young and stupid, I thought it was degrading and even told that to the University officials. But in the end my mother convinced me to do it and I wrote the thank you letter. Today I am ashamed of my arrogance and stupidity back then.

 

[musicman1951]

The current generation barely know how to write. It's a different world; they carry laptops from class to class and their entire world in digital - they would die without their cell phones. I would prefer a written thank you note - although generally their handwriting is atrocious - but I'm definitely a curmudgeon and it may be time to accept an email or (gasp) text message thank you. It's certainly better than no thank you at all (although I would still insist that expensive wedding presents require a written note).

I would also agree that if I'm in attendance at a birthday party and get a verbal thank you (and a hug) a follow up note is not necessary.

 

[Eric_75]

People make time for who they want to make time for. People text, call and reply to people they want to talk to. Never believe anyone who says they're too busy. If they wanted to be around you, they would.

% agree, my friend.

 

[Hopalong]

Agreed. Hand written thank you note. If you're too busy for that, then I'm too busy to send you anything.

 

[DesertIguana]

Well I had experience helping friend with his Non Profit, my job was to help get raffle prizes, and prizers for poker tournament. At one point I reach out to company for donation I had in with, spoke with Marketing & PR person, who I put intouch with President of group. They sent major donation of items, thine the retail value was over $1,300.00. Not sure the President of the Non Profit ever reach back with thank you note, and report how event went.

The next years he ask me to do my thing again, I reach back to the same company, and never got call back. Finally I tried an email to the PR Market person, and got reply almost instantly saying they get many requests annually, etc. Believe this was diplomatic way off saying we never got THANK YOU, so we are done support your Non Profit. I got the message, and figured reason.

Believe the President or none of BOD sent Thank You Notes to any of the minor donors who donated I made possible. Know everyone I got something from, the President got the item donated, the persons name at source of donation, and contact info.

 

[Lightcs1776]

My Ex-wife worked for big 8 CPA firm years ago, every year they were bombarded with resumes, applications for a few Staff Position form graduate accounting students. The first step in becoming CPA working as Staff position. They only interview cream of crop, had an active on campus recruit program to recruit from better schools.

After the hiring process was completed, all New Staff Positions were filled, the firm would send each person who applied, sent resume, or was interview on campus, or in office. Nice letter say they had hire, and thanking them for applying with firm.

Bottom line this was planting seeds of positive experience with the firm. As many times these people were in position later to need service of big 8 for SEC Audit, or?


The firm felt if they were nice, wrote thank you note that were creating positive experience. Maybe years later the person who did not make cut was controller, or cfo of company, and one in need of hiring a big 8. Who would you remember better firm you hear nothing from, or the one that sent note to you?

Thank you notes IMHO are important, think not, ok, your entitled to your opinion.

I don't expect a reply anymore if I am not offered a position. It seems that has gone the way of thank you notes. The last position I interviewed for was for an adjunct part-time undergraduate teaching position. I was told I would hear one way or the other within 48 hours. That was weeks ago. Maybe their clock broke.

 

[Lightcs1776]

I just opened the mail and I got a surprise. A very nice hand written thank you note from a young lady from my church. She is a freshman in college and going on a mission trip and was looking for donations. Things a a bit easier at my stage of life so my wife and I were happy to contribute. I thought it would be good to share that thank you notes are not completely gone, though I would still say it is very uncommon to see one these days.