I have no personality. That's why I married my wife 50+ years ago. She's the personable one that everyone lilkes. I'm the sullen ahole. When I worked child welfare in the 70s, I was the guy my office assigned to anyone who threatened to kill their caseworker. I got along really well with psychos. I was always honest, didn't back down, and they respected me for it. In later years, when I worked environmental enforcement, I was also assigned sites where other inspectors were threatened and afraid to go on site. I never had a problem. I even had one guy tell a Superior Court judge that I was the only person he would allow on his property to supervise the cleanup. Outside of court, the owner told me that I couldn't retire until I approved the clean-up. We got it done a year earlier than the approved plan and I retired on schedule.
Personality - is it nature or nurture?
- Thread starter Captain Pre-Capsize
- Start date
shoelessjoe
"I took out a Chihuahua!"
Personality is a combination of both ... begging an, is it nature or nature? ultimatum is akin to deciding that one blade on a pair of scissors is more important than the other one.
IN MY OPINION, psychology is not an exact science.
There are studies that show nurture over nature.
There are studies that show nature over nurture.
There are studies that show it's 50/50.
This post by @AimlessWanderer is as reasonable as most opinions I've read:
YMMV
There are studies that show nurture over nature.
There are studies that show nature over nurture.
There are studies that show it's 50/50.
This post by @AimlessWanderer is as reasonable as most opinions I've read:
YMMV
Agreed. Great post my friend.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6
As a quiver is full of arrows, I have a quiver full of children. They are all as different and individualistic in their personalities, as their thumbprints are different, one from another. I'm positive their different personalities were assigned to them at birth.
But in saying this, within all their varying and different personalities, my wife and I have always instilled in each one of them as they were growing up, the same vein or foundation or personal ethos if you will, of Wisdom.
Personal Ethos- A Personal Ethos is a "document" (or authority, or character) if you will, that serves as a grounding force when it comes to the affirmation of your identity, values, standards, and goals. The purpose of a Personal Ethos is to: Engrain your purpose for them, deeply into their nervous system or their mental, emotional and/or spiritual consciousness. (or into their personalties?)
So what are the characteristics of wisdom?
Wisdom- is the ability to think and act using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense and insight. Wisdom is associated with attributes such as unbiased judgments, compassion, experiential self-knowledge, self-transcendence and non-attachment, and virtues such as ethics and benevolence.
So while they all have varying personalities, they also all have the exact same "skill set" of common core values in order to decipher, use, decide and go with, the (personal ethos) or grounding force or foundation that was developed in their character and (personalities) since they all were old enough to think, feel and reason.
My children are all grown now and living their own lives, working to raise their own families, while also becoming a part of their own respective communities. They are by no means perfect and can/will make mistakes and wrong choices, just as I have in my life. But those mistakes and wrong choices will be rare anomalies that they can bounce back from and learn from in the midst of their many successes.
A speaker, can learn much to capture the attention of and form the visual, mental and even, emotional direction of the audience they are engaging, by learning the use and skill of the Rhetorical Triangle.
I have learned, Parent's can use this same rhetorical triangle, not to change their children's God given, individual personalities, but instead, use this same theory, to instill a common road of which all those different personalities can travel by to find their own way.
Life is unpredictable. People are unpredictable. Our children's personalities instilled with the "skill set" of a personal ethos of wisdom, can be a common road they all will travel, that is always stable, never faulters and is always there in the same place at the exact time, when they need it. They will instinctively go to this road in times of decision, regardless of their individual personality.
The Rhetorical Triangle for a loving parent:
Logos- Appeal to your child thru reason.
Ethos- Appeal to and instill wisdom into your child's character. (personality)
Pathos- Appeal to your child's emotions and their sympathetic imaginations to form their beliefs and values.
This is my story and I'm sticking to it.
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Outstanding and accurate comments. You summarized everything incredibly well.Agreed. Great post my friend.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6
As a quiver is full of arrows, I have a quiver full of children. They are all as different and individualistic in their personalities, as their thumbprints are different, one from another. I'm positive their different personalities were assigned to them at birth.
But in saying this, within all their varying and different personalities, my wife and I have always instilled in each one of them as they were growing up, the same vein or foundation or personal ethos if you will, of Wisdom.
Personal Ethos- A Personal Ethos is a "document" (or authority, or character) if you will, that serves as a grounding force when it comes to the affirmation of your identity, values, standards, and goals. The purpose of a Personal Ethos is to: Engrain your purpose for them, deeply into their nervous system or their mental, emotional and/or spiritual consciousness. (or into their personalties?)
So what are the characteristics of wisdom?
Wisdom- is the ability to think and act using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense and insight. Wisdom is associated with attributes such as unbiased judgments, compassion, experiential self-knowledge, self-transcendence and non-attachment, and virtues such as ethics and benevolence.
So while they all have varying personalities, they also all have the exact same "skill set" of common core values in order to decipher, use, decide and go with, the (personal ethos) or grounding force or foundation that was developed in their character and (personalities) since they all were old enough to think, feel and reason.
My children are all grown now and living their own lives, working to raise their own families, while also becoming a part of their own respective communities. They are by no means perfect and can/will make mistakes and wrong choices, just as I have in my life. But those mistakes and wrong choices will be rare anomalies that they can bounce back from and learn from in the midst of their many successes.
A speaker, can learn much to capture the attention of and form the visual, mental and even, emotional direction of the audience they are engaging, by learning the use and skill of the Rhetorical Triangle.
I have learned, Parent's can use this same rhetorical triangle, not to change their children's God given, individual personalities, but instead, use this same theory, to instill a common road of which all those different personalities can travel by to find their own way.
Life is unpredictable. People are unpredictable. Our children's personalities instilled with the "skill set" of a personal ethos of wisdom, can be a common road they all will travel, that is always stable, never faulters and is always there in the same place at the exact time, when they need it. They will instinctively go to this road in times of decision, regardless of their individual personality.
The Rhetorical Triangle for a loving parent:
Logos- Appeal to your child thru reason.
Ethos- Appeal to and instill wisdom into your child's character. (personality)
Pathos- Appeal to your child's emotions and their sympathetic imaginations to form their beliefs and values.
This is my story and I'm sticking to it.
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Well said!
It's both, nature and nurture, in my experience as a father and worldly man.
And I truly believe the varying proportion differ with everyone.
Now let's play a little game. Let's change "Nurture" to "Past Experiences". That interpretation of past experiences comes from the hardwired personality, or "Nature".
It's my personal, non trained, lay person WAG belief that in a situation Nurture will determine what they do and Nature will determine why. My children will often do the dumbest most bone-headed things, but they'll do it out of love. Or, more accurately, they'll do it out of a spirit of a sense of what's right or wrong.
For example, a couple years ago we had a company picnic where we all brought our family. One of my coworkers had a child with muscular dystrophy and spent a good portion of his life in a wheelchair. After talking to him, my three oldest grabbed his wheelchair and took off running as fast as they could like the hounds of hell were on their heels. After I blew a couple gaskets, his mother and Mrs. Rookie pushed me and his father aside and asked (in a much kinder and gentler way) what they were thinking. Well, they were thinking this poor kid doesn't know what it is to run around in the grass and play tag with other kids. Or roll down a hill.
In their minds, taking off with this boy was the kindest thing they could do. Including him in play, trying to give him a normal childhood experience.
Their Nature was to help him, and in their mind that's exactly what they were doing. Their hardwired personality said to give this boy simple childhood experiences. Their Nurture said that means run and play. Their Past Experiences never saw the danger in this type of play. It took several minutes to get over the shock and hurt of being yelled at for doing what they saw as the Right Thing. Then a good solid half hour of feeling bad when the dangers were explained.
That's about the best way I can explain it.
And for what is worth, that boy still carries those memories of running around in a field as one of the better days.
And I truly believe the varying proportion differ with everyone.
Now let's play a little game. Let's change "Nurture" to "Past Experiences". That interpretation of past experiences comes from the hardwired personality, or "Nature".
It's my personal, non trained, lay person WAG belief that in a situation Nurture will determine what they do and Nature will determine why. My children will often do the dumbest most bone-headed things, but they'll do it out of love. Or, more accurately, they'll do it out of a spirit of a sense of what's right or wrong.
For example, a couple years ago we had a company picnic where we all brought our family. One of my coworkers had a child with muscular dystrophy and spent a good portion of his life in a wheelchair. After talking to him, my three oldest grabbed his wheelchair and took off running as fast as they could like the hounds of hell were on their heels. After I blew a couple gaskets, his mother and Mrs. Rookie pushed me and his father aside and asked (in a much kinder and gentler way) what they were thinking. Well, they were thinking this poor kid doesn't know what it is to run around in the grass and play tag with other kids. Or roll down a hill.
In their minds, taking off with this boy was the kindest thing they could do. Including him in play, trying to give him a normal childhood experience.
Their Nature was to help him, and in their mind that's exactly what they were doing. Their hardwired personality said to give this boy simple childhood experiences. Their Nurture said that means run and play. Their Past Experiences never saw the danger in this type of play. It took several minutes to get over the shock and hurt of being yelled at for doing what they saw as the Right Thing. Then a good solid half hour of feeling bad when the dangers were explained.
That's about the best way I can explain it.
And for what is worth, that boy still carries those memories of running around in a field as one of the better days.
It's nature and random variation. Upbringing does not seem to enter into it.
The observed variation between siblings tend to be the same whether they were raised by the same parents or not. I.e. identical twins will show the same similarities whether they were raised by their parents or adopted by two different couples. That, incidentally, means that the home environment has zero effect. The 50% that matters seems to be what happens outside of the home, with peers and in the greater world.
Not a popular fact. But a fact nonetheless.
The observed variation between siblings tend to be the same whether they were raised by the same parents or not. I.e. identical twins will show the same similarities whether they were raised by their parents or adopted by two different couples. That, incidentally, means that the home environment has zero effect. The 50% that matters seems to be what happens outside of the home, with peers and in the greater world.
Not a popular fact. But a fact nonetheless.
Personality is like the steering on a car It controls where you go. Only the driver can make a change in the direction you are going. Nurturing is like the brakes on the car. It'll slow you down to give you a chance to consider your course and help you make a correction.
So....are you blaming my mother for my personality defects?
So what do you do with Romulus and Remus?
Luckily for me and my kid brother, our personalities were not shaped by our parents. Our step dad is an utter **** and our mother was a spineless self absorbed weakling for putting up with it. We are both quite normal.
Praise God for that. We don't choose our parents. I'm still amazed that we can breed at random but you ain't supposed to drive without a test and a license...
Certainly would not have chosen those two... Richer would have been better for a start.
I always figured that genetics were like the ingredients and everything else was like the cook.
You can't make a pumpkin pie out of a barrel full of apples, no matter how good you are as a cook, but you can make a lot of wonderful things. You also can make something horrible, no matter how good the apples are. Leave them alone, and they'll rot.
You can't make a pumpkin pie out of a barrel full of apples, no matter how good you are as a cook, but you can make a lot of wonderful things. You also can make something horrible, no matter how good the apples are. Leave them alone, and they'll rot.
I'm not sure how evil you are, but you are DEFINITELY a genius my friend.
Lol, for OUR sakes, please use it wisely!
Sometimes, our characters are shaped not so much "because of" our surroundings, but "in spite of" them.
"in spite of" can also be an indication of "causation." As in, "I strove with all my might to become "normal" and became so because I saw the hideous results of all the abnormality going on around me."
Not every teaching example has to be a positive one. If one fails at everything else, one can still provide an example of how one should not be! Perhaps Rushman2112's parents helped shape him and his brother by providing a role model of how not to be.
I can understand if Rushman2112 gratitude for that role model is limited!
That's basically what I was getting at ...
... the guy who never touches alcohol because he grew up with an alcoholic father and solemnly declared to himself "I won't be like that!"
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