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McClard's

Imagine me, NE Texas fellow, in college in Arkadelphia, AR (OBU), when a bunch of guys (me included) are getting ready to go to Hot Springs. All of them talking about McClard's for lunch, I really don't know what it is, yet, but hey, I'm born in Alabama, grew up in Texas, I like BBQ naturally. So off we go. The closer we get, the more the other 4 fellow's mouths water. Not just watering like mine, thinking about lunch and BBQ, but really mad-dog get the gun, run away foaming at the mouth drooling....
We get there, park in front of the hole-in-the-wall looking building, smaller than a typical McDonald's building, I'm looking around for the place, thinking we must be gonna walk a ways...yeah, to the other side of said building, where the little sign greets me; yes, this is the place. Go inside, it's about 11:15 on a Tuesday morning, and the place is already PACKED!!! As we wait for a table to open, I'm looking around at all the people who have eaten there, including AR's own beloved Bill...not a big surprise considering location, but still impressive. We get a table, I'm the only one with a menu, the other guys have already said "RIBS!", so I say, what the heck, "RIBS!".
The aroma of the place is incredible. The crazy look in the other guys' eyes is warning me...I shoulda notta wore a mostly white T-shirt, as this was going to be a feeding frenzy!
The plates came out, the smell grabs you by the olfactories, takes control of the medulla oblongata, and you are pwned! :biggrin:
First bite, I knew this would be a problem...I live too far away from this place! Tangy, spicy, awesomesauce. This is the Aqua Velva of BBQ. Two of us had our groom/groomsmen meals here shortly before the wedding. And I was right in my estimation of wearing the wrong shirt; fortunately Wal Mart is nearby, but I kept the shirt in my dorm room A) as an air freshener and B) the aroma was still good, can't just wash a shirt like that. :biggrin:
If you've been to the restaurant, or have had the BBQ sauce, please let the world (B&B) know it! If you had a bad experience there, or didn't like it, I'm sorry, but you're wrong and you know it!
And Springs1 better never go there, she'll be kicked out faster than 'Bama rolled them Hogs last week! (on second thought, here's where you can find them :biggrin: )
Review of the sauce can be found here:
 
:frown:
I don't think there's a single restaurant within 300 kms of me that realizes there's a difference between BBQing and grilling. Or that adding bottled BBQ sauce to something does not make it a BBQ dish.
 
One thing about that area of the country. They know how to BBQ. I had many a good meal when I lived in TX for a year back in the day. Couldn't tell you any restaurant name now to save my life, but they are all holes' in the wall like Jim explains above. The tackier they are, the better the grub.
 
We've got 2 very solid BBQ places here in Richmond. The Smoky Pig, as well as Buzz and Ned's. You may have seen Buzz and Ned's on food network, when they tore bobby flay a new one:biggrin:
 
it's off-topic from the BBQ, but since someone mentioned Texas being great with BBQ, I feel the need to defend our Chili, too:

Texas Chili
NOTE: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better.
For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili cook-off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, So I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
Judge # 1 A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild
Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy s**t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili
Judge # 1 - Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting s**t-faced from all of the beer.

Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out tastebuds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT -- just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Screw those rednecks.

Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I s**t myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, its too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili #8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balance chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili.
 
Ha! Good stuff Jim. I've gotten that in email before. It's funny and true. Thing of it is once food gets too hot there's no taste anymore. All you can register is fire. I love spicy foods, but ain't really into all the hell fire and brimstone stuff. My wife sometimes overdoes it with the chilis and then laughs at the juero (white boy) as he gags and chokes. :lol:
 
Ha! Good stuff Jim. I've gotten that in email before. It's funny and true. Thing of it is once food gets too hot there's no taste anymore. All you can register is fire. I love spicy foods, but ain't really into all the hell fire and brimstone stuff. My wife sometimes overdoes it with the chilis and then laughs at the juero (white boy) as he gags and chokes. :lol:

I agree. I love spicy. But hot is not spicy. It is a stripping of the natural taste. I do not like hot as the only flavor.
 
Jim I laughed so hard I could not see for awhile.. That was great mind if I share it with some people around work?

Fuzzy
 
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