Living at home vent

[KarthVader]

I know this is my parent's house, but I live in and care for it too.

I feel diminished and castrated sometimes when my Dad gets in one of his "moods" and decides to do whatever he wants, despite me trying to reason with him.

I do 90% of the cooking, which I mostly enjoy, along with whatever my parents don't want to do. Not cool.

Frankly, they are massive idiots.


/end vent

 

[cfriend]

I was coming in here to say "where else to live but home?" Now that I read OPs comments, I will say that the situation does sound frustrating. Best thoughts towards you.

 

[ouch]

I think that in a fairly short time, roughly around the time you start having to foot the bill for everything, they'll appear to you as far more resourceful and intelligent than they currently do.

 

[Topgumby]

Yeah, when I was sixteen, my dad was an idiot. I don't know how, but he had evolved into a pretty smart guy by the time I was twenty, and now with kids of my own, I wish I could consult the late genius often.

BTW, there are several organizations that will get you out of the house and let you see some sights while you are young. Not all of them bear arms, either.

 

[citizensoldierny]

Yeah, when I was sixteen, my dad was an idiot. I don't know how, but he had evolved into a pretty smart guy by the time I was twenty, and now with kids of my own, I wish I could consult the late genius often.

BTW, there are several organizations that will get you out of the house and let you see some sights while you are young. Not all of them bear arms, either.

Are you referring to the Air Force

 

[cfriend]

Yeah, when I was sixteen, my dad was an idiot. I don't know how, but he had evolved into a pretty smart guy by the time I was twenty, and now with kids of my own, I wish I could consult the late genius often.

BTW, there are several organizations that will get you out of the house and let you see some sights while you are young. Not all of them bear arms, either.

This is great. +1

 

[KarthVader]

I'm 23 and lived on my own for a while. Now that I'm back home due to lack of employment, I miss the autonomy.

I feel like I'm back in high school.

 

[WhosYerBob]

Yeah, when I was sixteen, my dad was an idiot. I don't know how, but he had evolved into a pretty smart guy by the time I was twenty, and now with kids of my own, I wish I could consult the late genius often.

Sounds like we must have the same dad!

 

[82R100]

My sympathies. I can't toss off any easy solutions either, other than to assure you that it won't last forever and things will be better in the future.

I married and moved to the opposite coast when I was 22. I was lucky enough to have landed a job at the time. It would have driven me crazy too.

- Chris

 

[Swampfox]

I think that in a fairly short time, roughly around the time you start having to foot the bill for everything, they'll appear to you as far more resourceful and intelligent than they currently do.

Yep.

Yeah, when I was sixteen, my dad was an idiot. I don't know how, but he had evolved into a pretty smart guy by the time I was twenty, and now with kids of my own, I wish I could consult the late genius often.

BTW, there are several organizations that will get you out of the house and let you see some sights while you are young. Not all of them bear arms, either.

+1

 

[Greybeard]

I'm 23 and lived on my own for a while. Now that I'm back home due to lack of employment, I miss the autonomy.

I feel like I'm back in high school.

My dad and I didn't get along. I left home when I was 19, worked full time and went to university part time. I moved back for a year when I was 23 so that I could afford to go to school full time and finish off my degree. That year was hell.

My parents only started considering me as an adult and respecting my opinions and suggestions when I was 29 and had my own family and successful business. It got a lot better after that. Hang in there. Hopefully it will for you too.



- Peter

 

[htownmmm]

He who owns the place where the gold is stored rules.


marty

 

[bythbook]

I'm sure your idiot parents would be incredibly supportive of your striking out on your own.

Good luck to you.

 

[sandmountainslim]

Allow me to buck the trend
I can't speak for the OP's parents but some peoples parents really ARE idiots!
I know that isn't a popular truth but a truth nonetheless.

I have witnessed many idiot parents over the years in my everyday going about life and my own parents are nothing more than immature and self centered.
My own mother decided motherhood wasn't her bag and split to be with a boyfriend in 1972 when I was two years old. My father rather than reacting like a man and a real parent got pissed off and joined the USMC so he could "just be away from the situation".
Endgame was my paternal grandparents (ages 68 and 62) ended up with a youngster to have to spend their golden years rearing. Grandma almost made it thru and passed away when I was 16 and Grandpa made it to the finish line and didn't pass away until I was 22.
They took on the parenting game one final time after raising 6 kids just because my own parents were nothing but spoiled little twits who never think of others. Fastforward to nowadays when my parents are spoiled depressed Old Farts who spend all day moanin' and bitchin' that their kids want very little to do with them.
Rant over
Wp

 

[Mr_Amazing]

I hear you. I'm in the same boat, twenties and unemployed living at home...

My dad is the "do it yourself" kind of person, but he lacks all the skill to do any of the stuff he wants to do. He rips stuff apart, but never actually puts it back together.

For 10 years the bathroom on the first floor of the house lacked a floor and you could see into the basement. Needless to say, in my entire life, the house has never been in a completed state and maybe 2 rooms in the whole house are actually complete. I am handy myself and know I can do the work that needs to be done (all that is really left is some drywalling and painting of trim), but he refuses to let anybody touch it. It is extremely frustrating to say the least.

He thinks he's going to rip up half of the back yard and put in a flagstone patio in the spring. He bought a bunch of flagstones that someone was throwing out for 50 bucks and they are just sitting in the driveway piled up. He also has an obsession with wood. He has had a table saw for 25+ years and has NEVER put it together! He buys wood at lumber mills and it just piles up in the attic going unused. Prior to getting an addition put on (by professionals, not him), my brother and I had to take apart the redwood deck to salvage the wood. Most of the wood has been used to build a staircase and back porch area, but there is still a huge pile of planks sitting in the driveway. The addition was put on the house 5 years ago. All the trim from the addition needs to be painted and all the new window trim needs it too. He wants to stain and my mom wants it painted (like the rest of the house).

He even asks if all the doors have been locked up at night. The house has never been broken into in 24+ years. I feel your pain.

 

[KarthVader]

Let me clarify,

Yeah, the situation isn't awful living at home. I was just venting because it is difficult going from being completely independent and then going back to your parents house and it just hit me today like an anvil falling on my head. Imagine a nuclear weapon detonating and it having absolutely no effect. That is how I feel right now; powerless and a bit robotic. I just go through the motions at home so that I don't have to deal with any of my parents' antics and to avoid arguments.

I don't think I am better than them or any smarter than them. I just wish that they would stop, take a step back and listen. I couldn't have asked for better parents; they didn't abuse me or abandon me and gave me a relatively stable environment to grow and thrive. Both love me and show me kindness, but I know they are not infallible, despite what they would like to believe. In other words, I don't think my parents realized that I grew up and I feel that they still think I'm a brash high schooler.

Nevertheless, I appreciate all the advice and support from this thread. I just needed to vent.

 

[richmondesi]

Let me clarify,

Yeah, the situation isn't awful living at home. I was just venting because it is difficult going from being completely independent and then going back to your parents house and it just hit me today like an anvil falling on my head. Imagine a nuclear weapon detonating and it having absolutely no effect. That is how I feel right now; powerless and a bit robotic. I just go through the motions at home so that I don't have to deal with any of my parents' antics and to avoid arguments.

I don't think I am better than them or any smarter than them. I just wish that they would stop, take a step back and listen. I couldn't have asked for better parents; they didn't abuse me or abandon me and gave me a relatively stable environment to grow and thrive. Both love me and show me kindness, but I know they are not infallible, despite what they would like to believe. In other words, I don't think my parents realized that I grew up and I feel that they still think I'm a brash high schooler.

Nevertheless, I appreciate all the advice and support from this thread. I just needed to vent.

While I understand your need to vent, sometimes I find it best to type out all that I'd like to unload, and then I hit "New Posts" instead of "Submit Reply". You're quite lucky that your parents even tolerate you at home anyway. I know a lot of guys were were given a pat on the back at 18 and were told to beat it... "Massive idiots" or not, your current lack of employment is not really their problem. Good luck on finding gainful employment somewhere soon so that you can get back out on your own

 

[kwk285]

Its their house and their bills.

If you want to start paying some rent, then you could have more of a leg to stand on.

 

[Thebigspendur]

Let me put this into perspective as a 60+ guy. Whether your parents were great or not so great what would happen if they disappeared overnight along with the place you were staying in? What would you do then?

 

[Gatsby]

Last year I was living with the parental units while unemployed.
(I moved out in August to attend law school).

It's an overused saying, but you just have to take it one day at a time.
Find something (music, writing, DE shaving) that is just for you.
I found that the alone time when I was doing something just for me and my own terms helped maintain a feeling of independence.

Don't beat yourself up either.
The economy is still in the tank, so the job hunt will take more time than expected.

Keep us posted and don't apologize for venting.