Jokes that make you groan
- Thread starter Captain Pre-Capsize
- Start date
I am such an easy laugh.
Same! Beats the hell out of the alternative, no?
My daughter does well in school. She got an A in every class except one, she got an F in Gender. I told her she had to do better - being a girl is no excuse.
This one was too funny to groan, but not quite a belly laugh....9 out of 10!
Amen!
Rhody
I'm a Lumberjack.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
I was so self-conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.
My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
* Jackie Mason. RIP.
I was so self-conscious, every time football players went into a huddle, I thought they were talking about me.
My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
* Jackie Mason. RIP.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
What do a fork truck / stacker truck and a wife have in common?
If you dont have either you're loading and unloading yourself.
If you dont have either you're loading and unloading yourself.
Was at a job at interview and was asked if I could perform under pressure. I replied "No, but I'll give Bohemian Rhapsody a try".
I once thought I was wrong.....but I was mistaken.
I told my wife that one. She didn’t laugh or groan.
She tossed my pillow at me and said enjoy the couch!
I was recently asked if I like working with somebody else's tools. I said it depends if the owner is a jerk or not.
Come to think of it nobody asks to use my tools. Go figure.
Come to think of it nobody asks to use my tools. Go figure.
I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not so sure...
I believe this is "The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle" I heard about in high school chemistry.
Rhody
I'm a Lumberjack.
I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
*rodney dangerfield.
*rodney dangerfield.
Golfer: you must be the worst caddy in the world.
Caddy: no, that would be too much of a coincidence.
Caddy: no, that would be too much of a coincidence.
I thought I knew what you meant, then I realized I was thinking of The Eisenberg Uncertainty Principle
