It's a tough thing to do. There's an old saying "Who can do the hard thing? He who must". You're in that situation and what you're proposing to do just might be the start of the wake-up call he so desperately needs. I wish you well...Grimm really doesn't know what a great friend you are.You are 110% right. Not for nothing, I've been telling him -for years-. His ex wife and kids wanted to do an intervention (but ultimately didn't). I read him the riot act at the hospital, and again afterwards. I told his kids (who are all over 21), that they needed to become self-reliant and I told them, in no uncertain terms, why. I even told them to start going to Alanon.
I am at the point where if I see him drinking, I'm going to stand up and leave. I'm probably going to do that tomorrow at the dinner table. When he orders or pours that drink, I'm going to stand up and tell everyone we are going home. The jaws will drop. Then, in no uncertain terms, and with much graphic detail, I'll explain that I will not participate in his self-anihilation, citing the imagery and events of the past 6 months. This will absolutely mortify him in front of Bismark, who is a hugely successful CEO that used to have two Gulf Streams on the ready for him (1 for Latin America work, one for Africa).
He'll hate me for it.
I can live with that.