My brakes have been squeaking recently and since I haven't replaced the rotors since I bought the car, I picked up new rotors/pads and shoes (who knew they still used drum brakes on a car 
).
I figured it'd be a quick little project and I'd still have time to drive somewhere and spend the night in the great outdoors.
Heh, Murphy had other plans.
I search high and low for my floor jack. No dice. I remember a friend, who now lives in TX, borrowed it. Crap, I'll have to use my amazing bottle jack.
I rummage around my trunk and find my awesome bottle jack. It decides that since I haven't used it in so long, It would drain itself of fluid. Of course it could have just said that, but nooooo it sat there all quiet-like while I fiddled with it for ten minutes before discovering for myself. Not so awesome jack.
Well, I'll just fill it with motor oil, that'll work dandy. So I have a gallon of oil and hole the size of a pencil in the jack. Ah, I'll just use the fuel funnel for my camp lamp. It almost fits and away I go, filling it up with oil. Remember when I said it almost fit? Well by almost, I meant doesn't fit at all. I finally get a teaspoon of oil into the jack and about a cup all over my hands.
Switching the brain into high-gear I cut the corner off a ziploc and fill it with oil. This kinda works, but I need to keep pumping the jack to break the airlock. Every time I pump it, it wiggles, and I spill oil on myself. Finally, awesome jack works.
I go to jack up the awesome car, and it's so awesomely low to the ground, awesome jack won't fit under a lift point. I finally cram it under a strut and start lifting. It's barely tall enough to get the tire off the ground, but it makes it.
I pull the tire off. Hey, who forgot to set the parking brake? The car promptly teeters off the jack and faceplants into the concrete parking marker at my apartment. Kicking myself and cursing under my breath, I try to lift it again. Stupid jack is far to tall to fit under anything that's not plastic.
I drag some lumber over and make a retarded makeshift lift. I'm straining and kicking a block under the strut. Then I strain some more and kick the block further. Wow, 3 inches off the ground now! I decide this won't work and call a cab.
He goes to the wrong building and I'm chasing him down the street, waving my arms. Finally he sees me and off we go to the hardware store. They have one floor jack. It's a cheap piece of crap. It costs $50 and it's the last one on the shelf. It's been opened before, but all the parts are still there. I grab it and take the cab back home.
Awesome floor jack is a hair too tall to fit under the lift point. I strain and heave and kick another block under the car. Finally it fits. Yay! I lift it up, no major damage to anything. I also realize why awesome floor jack was returned. It keeps sinking. I need to pump it every minute to keep the car off the ground
I get to work taking the caliper off. Hey, where's the bolt? What's this? A recessed hex bolt? Of course, I don't have any of those. It looks about 1/2 inch, it's on the inside of the caliper so I'm using a mirror to guess the size. I dig around on the web and find it's 3/8".
I call Shucks auto. No, they don't have one. I call NAPA. Yeah sure, we have a bunch of those. They close in a half hour. I put the tire back on, clean up all my tools and head to NAPA. It never occurred to me that he thought I was talking about a 3/8 drive. Sigh.
Sears is closed now. Shucks is closed. NAPA is closed. The hardware store is closed. I take a chance at Lowes. Yup, but I need to buy a set for $40. I buy it and decide to check Home Depot. They have the same set for $15. I snag it and finally, FINALLY, change mah brakes.
It was dark by then and I looked like I had just crawled out of a chimney. I opt for a shower over camping
).I figured it'd be a quick little project and I'd still have time to drive somewhere and spend the night in the great outdoors.
Heh, Murphy had other plans.
I search high and low for my floor jack. No dice. I remember a friend, who now lives in TX, borrowed it. Crap, I'll have to use my amazing bottle jack.
I rummage around my trunk and find my awesome bottle jack. It decides that since I haven't used it in so long, It would drain itself of fluid. Of course it could have just said that, but nooooo it sat there all quiet-like while I fiddled with it for ten minutes before discovering for myself. Not so awesome jack.
Well, I'll just fill it with motor oil, that'll work dandy. So I have a gallon of oil and hole the size of a pencil in the jack. Ah, I'll just use the fuel funnel for my camp lamp. It almost fits and away I go, filling it up with oil. Remember when I said it almost fit? Well by almost, I meant doesn't fit at all. I finally get a teaspoon of oil into the jack and about a cup all over my hands.
Switching the brain into high-gear I cut the corner off a ziploc and fill it with oil. This kinda works, but I need to keep pumping the jack to break the airlock. Every time I pump it, it wiggles, and I spill oil on myself. Finally, awesome jack works.
I go to jack up the awesome car, and it's so awesomely low to the ground, awesome jack won't fit under a lift point. I finally cram it under a strut and start lifting. It's barely tall enough to get the tire off the ground, but it makes it.
I pull the tire off. Hey, who forgot to set the parking brake? The car promptly teeters off the jack and faceplants into the concrete parking marker at my apartment. Kicking myself and cursing under my breath, I try to lift it again. Stupid jack is far to tall to fit under anything that's not plastic.
I drag some lumber over and make a retarded makeshift lift. I'm straining and kicking a block under the strut. Then I strain some more and kick the block further. Wow, 3 inches off the ground now! I decide this won't work and call a cab.
He goes to the wrong building and I'm chasing him down the street, waving my arms. Finally he sees me and off we go to the hardware store. They have one floor jack. It's a cheap piece of crap. It costs $50 and it's the last one on the shelf. It's been opened before, but all the parts are still there. I grab it and take the cab back home.
Awesome floor jack is a hair too tall to fit under the lift point. I strain and heave and kick another block under the car. Finally it fits. Yay! I lift it up, no major damage to anything. I also realize why awesome floor jack was returned. It keeps sinking. I need to pump it every minute to keep the car off the ground
I get to work taking the caliper off. Hey, where's the bolt? What's this? A recessed hex bolt? Of course, I don't have any of those. It looks about 1/2 inch, it's on the inside of the caliper so I'm using a mirror to guess the size. I dig around on the web and find it's 3/8".
I call Shucks auto. No, they don't have one. I call NAPA. Yeah sure, we have a bunch of those. They close in a half hour. I put the tire back on, clean up all my tools and head to NAPA. It never occurred to me that he thought I was talking about a 3/8 drive. Sigh.
Sears is closed now. Shucks is closed. NAPA is closed. The hardware store is closed. I take a chance at Lowes. Yup, but I need to buy a set for $40. I buy it and decide to check Home Depot. They have the same set for $15. I snag it and finally, FINALLY, change mah brakes.
It was dark by then and I looked like I had just crawled out of a chimney. I opt for a shower over camping
