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Stubborn gray, coarse, wild beard hair

I know that as hair becomes gray it loses some of its moisture and pliability and that this translates into it becoming coarse and difficult to control. Are there any “magic bullets” when it comes to conditioners or moisturizers you can use to alleviate this problem or control it.
This stuff is always YMMV, so I don't think there are any magic bullets. My beard is a mix of red and brown turning white and silver. I don't really notice a difference between colors. Some are thick, some thin, some curly, some straight, jut seems to be random to me. I do hear others say they change though, so as I said before YMMV. For me I like oils better than balms, but do use balms from time to time. I used to not like hair conditioner when my beard was shorter. I thought it gave it too much body and wanted to make it look to puffy and wild, but as its gotten longer I find conditioner really does help now. I think there is enough weight to hold it down at this point. Also the hair is much older and more damaged so that may be part of it too. But once again I here others say they like conditioner at only a couple weeks worth of growth.

I guess what I'm saying is you're probably going to have to try a few thing and see how they work for you. What are you using now?
Thanks for responding. I’m using a homemade oil and balm and occasional Paul Mitchell leave in conditioner. I’ve only recently let my goatee/moustache grow out a little more. Maybe that’s the reason i’m seeing more “scraggly” hairs. It’s itching a little too.
The point when it starts to leave the face and become a shape of it's own can be very frustrating. it just never seems to know what it wants to do. How long are you letting it get? sometimes its best to grow it longer than you really want then trim it back. It gives the slower growing hairs a chance to catch up, and lets you see what it really want to do on it's own. Then you can work with it instead of fighting it.

The Nid Hog

Moderator Emeritus
My beard is pretty grey, too. My daughter recommended that purple shampoo and conditioner that's made for everything from bleached to naturally grey hair. I gave it a try and thought it worked well. I occasionally use a little VO5 in my beard too--that was a pro tip from my barber. Beyond that, just use conditioner and a leave-in moisturizer, oil, or balm regularly.
I am in this boat too. I tried to get my beard to straighten out when I grew it long, and I swear every time I combed that beard, a new batch of wild grey wires would spring out in all directions. Conditioner helped with it being softer but it's never decided to be anything but a bush.
When I had my beard at its longest this past winter (~4 inches) the only thing that would tame it was a hair dryer and a small diameter round brush. Brush down slowly while rolling down with the hairdryer above the brush. Would get the sides nice and tame and everything going more down than out. After I did that for a minute or two I would then apply my beard oil and work it in with a beard brush and shape to my liking.

I trimmed the beard down short once summer hit but am in the beginning stages of growing it back out. I dread the in between stage when it starts to take shape. That is a rough month of homelessness look-a-like days.