L
Lo'Tek
What could straights and mycology possibly have in common? Well, according to David Arora "Bring home what looks like a wild mushroom for dinner, and no one gives it a second thoughtdespite the fact it might be a death camas you have, especially if you didn't bother to smell it. But bring home a wild mushroom for dinner, and watch the faces of your friends crawl with various combinations of fear, anxiety, loathing, and distrust. Appetites are suddenly and mysteriously misplaced, vague announcements are hurriedly mumbled as to dinner engagements else where, until you're finally left alone to "enjoy" your meal in total silence." Mushrooms Demystified by David Arora - Sound familiar? I have been officially studying and hunting mushrooms since 1996 and friends know this. I have picked and identified more than a hundred species including all of the most poisonous varieties, eaten any that where edible, and here I am to write about it; I often refer to them in Greek so I've been at this diligently for some time. Yet I still don't know quite how I should react when I ask a friend to stop their car to check out a fungi and before I get to it I hear them leap from the vehicle and frantically shout out "Don't TOUCH it!" Something makes me both laugh and shake my head. This has at times been followed by a scene where I distort my face, shreek in agony, and fall to the ground in convulsions, a riposte I settled upon after about the tenth occurrence. "Have you ever gotten poisoned?" is a very common question. For some reason they never ask me if I've ever died; although I can swear I've heard the words start from their lips more than once. Often the same people who tell me "You must be crazy." will ask me to identify a fungi on their property. They will stand there and listen raptly while I ramble about their delectable find and watch on as I collect and walk my way with arms overflowing with the glorious booty. Some weeks later they normally notice that I'm not dead when I tell them how good they where and all the things I did with them. It's often Chantrella in the spring, and this story often accompanies the Sulfur Shelf aka Chicken Mushroom in late summer, and this story is told by every single mushroomer I've encountered. You might get to pick them for one more year but you seethey're testing it, their waiting to see if you'll kick off first. Well this is how this story always ends. You don't get any next year. Or after.
Straight Razor Fear. So it should be no surprise that when I started using a straight I had to see this commonality, a stark similarity. The response is almost identical. "Aren't you afraid that thing will JUMP out of your hands and slash your throat?" I can almost see why the ingrained mushroom fear but in the case of the razor, a precision instrument wherein the operator has complete control, it never ceases to astound me the men types who do thismen who are rugged, manly men. Men who never cry could just as well scream shrilly like a girly. Like the Lumbar Jack, the Hunter and Military Man who has seen blood and guts, and men who swing with force and speed implements nearly as sharp, who shrink back in morbid fear of the little nicely formed piece of metal artthe straight razor, and say "Aren't you afraid you'll cut your neck or something? Well, you have fun with that, I wouldn't use one." So tell me, where went all the Manly Men?
"Well, w,what happened? Yer Balls drop off or something? Hmm?"The Joker
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Straight Razor Fear. So it should be no surprise that when I started using a straight I had to see this commonality, a stark similarity. The response is almost identical. "Aren't you afraid that thing will JUMP out of your hands and slash your throat?" I can almost see why the ingrained mushroom fear but in the case of the razor, a precision instrument wherein the operator has complete control, it never ceases to astound me the men types who do thismen who are rugged, manly men. Men who never cry could just as well scream shrilly like a girly. Like the Lumbar Jack, the Hunter and Military Man who has seen blood and guts, and men who swing with force and speed implements nearly as sharp, who shrink back in morbid fear of the little nicely formed piece of metal artthe straight razor, and say "Aren't you afraid you'll cut your neck or something? Well, you have fun with that, I wouldn't use one." So tell me, where went all the Manly Men?
"Well, w,what happened? Yer Balls drop off or something? Hmm?"The Joker
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