Everyone here is wrong!
...And since I am here too, that means I am ALSO wrong!
...And since I am here too, that means I am ALSO wrong!
Not with my wife you don't!
- Thread starter Bertilak
- Start date
That's not a pipe.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
- Thread starter
- #25
Are we off to the abuse room again?
A wonderful idea to boost GFlanagan's post count.
What kind of stupid question is that, you mindless twit?
This means nothing!
we know Ray....we know...nothing new about that
Can you prove it?
can you DISprove it?
I demand a recount!!!
I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
With a rabid wolverine in my underwear
When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?"
"Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?"
"Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time we crashed into the truck
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt
Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams
When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space
Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
They sucked out my internal organs
And they took some polaroids
And said I was a darn good sport
And as a way of saying thank you
They offered to transport me back to
Any point in history that I would care to go
And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night
So I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of
Colonel Sanders started yelling
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin
When I got a nasty papercut
And, well, to make a long story short
It got infected and I died
So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter
By the pearly gates
And it's obvious he doesn't like
The Nehru jacket that I'm wearing
He tells me that they've got a dress code
Well, he lets me into heaven anyway
But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine
For all eternity
And every day he runs by screaming
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you used to think was so important
Doesn't really matter anymore
Because the simple fact remains that
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
Everything you know is wrong
With a rabid wolverine in my underwear
When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?"
"Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?"
"Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time we crashed into the truck
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt
Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams
When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space
Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
They sucked out my internal organs
And they took some polaroids
And said I was a darn good sport
And as a way of saying thank you
They offered to transport me back to
Any point in history that I would care to go
And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night
So I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of
Colonel Sanders started yelling
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin
When I got a nasty papercut
And, well, to make a long story short
It got infected and I died
So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter
By the pearly gates
And it's obvious he doesn't like
The Nehru jacket that I'm wearing
He tells me that they've got a dress code
Well, he lets me into heaven anyway
But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine
For all eternity
And every day he runs by screaming
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you used to think was so important
Doesn't really matter anymore
Because the simple fact remains that
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
Everything you know is wrong
One of my favorite songs!
I know that you
Don't know me very well
We've barely met
But I can surely tell
No one will ever
Love you like I do
I like to feel
The warm spot on your chair
Sometimes I drool
And usually I stare
My precious one
I saved that gum
That you threw in the garbage
You're the one I dream about
But the only question with me now
Is "Do I creep you out?"
Everytime I shake your hand now
Wanna stick your fingers in my mouth
Do I creep you out?
Call you every night and hang up
Gonna carve your name in my leg
In my leg, oh-oh!
Somethin' I should ask about
Can I sniff the pit-stains on your blouse?
And do I creep you,
Do I creep you out?
(Your restraining order's out)
(Still the only question with me now)
Oh the only question
(Is "Do I creep you out?")
Is "Do I creep you out?"
Know exactly where you live now
Follow you from work right to your house
Well, do I creep you out?
Do I creep you out?
One of my favorite songs!
no it's not
- Thread starter
- #38
is hard for me to do
But I can't seem to stop myself
I know you said that we were through
And here I am.
I'm calling you.
Please try to understand
I see myself as your loving man
Whatever it is you think I lack
Let's talk about it.
Call me back.
Press 1 if you want me
Press 2 if you don't
Press 3 if you'll forgive me
Press 4 if you won't
Press 5 if you doubt me
Press 6 if you trust
Press pound if you love me
Or hang up if you must.
I have an unlimited plan
I forward my calls everywhere
I check my voice-mail from the car
Or at the payphone in the bar
I'm wearing a beeper all the time
I carry a portable fax
Instant message me on the train
I get my emails from the plane
Press 1 if you re-married
Press 2 if you're gay
Press 3 if you're dating
That ***** from L.A.
Press 5 if you're screening
Press 6 if you're dead
Press pound if you love me
Or hang up instead
I'm outside your house now
There's not even one light on
Has there been a blackout?
I don't know
Is that a police car?
I should go
Press 1 to press charges
Press 2 to feel my pain
Press 3 to place an order
Press 4 to restrain
Press 5 for visiting hours
Press 6 for a day pass
Press pound if you love me
You sure look good through the glass
But I can't seem to stop myself
I know you said that we were through
And here I am.
I'm calling you.
Please try to understand
I see myself as your loving man
Whatever it is you think I lack
Let's talk about it.
Call me back.
Press 1 if you want me
Press 2 if you don't
Press 3 if you'll forgive me
Press 4 if you won't
Press 5 if you doubt me
Press 6 if you trust
Press pound if you love me
Or hang up if you must.
I have an unlimited plan
I forward my calls everywhere
I check my voice-mail from the car
Or at the payphone in the bar
I'm wearing a beeper all the time
I carry a portable fax
Instant message me on the train
I get my emails from the plane
Press 1 if you re-married
Press 2 if you're gay
Press 3 if you're dating
That ***** from L.A.
Press 5 if you're screening
Press 6 if you're dead
Press pound if you love me
Or hang up instead
I'm outside your house now
There's not even one light on
Has there been a blackout?
I don't know
Is that a police car?
I should go
Press 1 to press charges
Press 2 to feel my pain
Press 3 to place an order
Press 4 to restrain
Press 5 for visiting hours
Press 6 for a day pass
Press pound if you love me
You sure look good through the glass
did not..besides what if it is an old style rotary phone?
I, man, am regal a German am I
Never odd or even
If I had a hi-fi
Madam, I'm Adam
Too hot to hoot
No lemons, no melon
Too bad I hid a boot
Lisa Bonet ate no basil
Warsaw was raw
Was it a car or a cat I saw?
Rise to vote, sir
Do geese see God?
"Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod
Rats live on no evil star
Won't lovers revolt now?
Race fast, safe car
Pa's a sap
Ma is as selfless as I am
May a moody baby doom a yam?
Ah Satan sees Natasha
No devil lived on
Lonely Tylenol
Not a banana baton
No "x" in "Nixon"
O, stone, be not so
O Geronimo, no minor ego
"Naomi", I moan
"A Toyota's a Toyota"
A dog, a panic in a pagoda
Oh, no! Don Ho!
Nurse, I spy gypsies -- run!
Senile felines
Now I see bees I won
UFO tofu
We panic in a pew
Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo
God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog!
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog
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