Doctor: Do you smoke or drink alcohol?
Me: I drink it.
Me: I drink it.
Jokes that make you groan
- Thread starter Captain Pre-Capsize
- Start date
Doctor: I have good news and bad news...
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: People don't die from your secondary condition.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: People don't die from your secondary condition.
Me on the phone: My wife is going into labor!
Emergency Room: Is this her first child?
Me: No, I'm her husband.
Emergency Room: Is this her first child?
Me: No, I'm her husband.
What's the difference between a Veterans Administration Doctor and a bullet?
A bullet can draw blood, a bullet can be fired, and a bullet only kills one soldier at a time.
A bullet can draw blood, a bullet can be fired, and a bullet only kills one soldier at a time.
Doctor: Your problems are all in your head.
Me: You mean I'm a hypochondriac?
Doctor: No, you have Alzheimers.
Me: You mean I'm a hypochondriac?
Doctor: No, you have Alzheimers.
Me: Doc, I swallowed my watch.
Doctor: Here, read this book.
Me: Is it about my problem?
Doctor: No, but it will help you pass the time.
Doctor: Here, read this book.
Me: Is it about my problem?
Doctor: No, but it will help you pass the time.
My wife is always accusing me of using the wrong word in a sentence.
To be honest, it's getting a little monogamous.
To be honest, it's getting a little monogamous.
I love these jokes you post. Always brings a smile to my face.
Thanks, my friend.
I bought a book called “1001 Uses for Binary”.
When I got home, I was disappointed to find out there were only 9 entries.
When I got home, I was disappointed to find out there were only 9 entries.
reminds me of the old one, "there are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."
How do you say suppository in Italian? Innuendo.
What happens to bad rainbows?
They get sent to prism. It's a light sentence and gives them time to reflect.
They get sent to prism. It's a light sentence and gives them time to reflect.
Accidentally replaced my halogen bulbs with hallucinogen bulbs.
Circuit breakers are tripping and my electric bill is really high.
Circuit breakers are tripping and my electric bill is really high.
