If you could invent 5 things. . .

[Wilpar76]

I was in a training at work today and one of the exercises was to make a list of things that if you would create or implement if you were the boss. Obviously the speaker was quite boring as I started thinking about what I would create if I could do anything (from silly to semi-serious). These are the first five that came to mind as I was half awake and ready to go home from the training.

5. ?????

4. A way to repair the ozone layer.

3. Soylent Green - just kidding. However, I would like to create enough food stuffs or at least the needed natural resources to allow for everyone (especially children) to get the sustenance they require without it being tied into a profit for big businesses.

2. Automatic Gag order on anyone that mentions Brett Favre should keep playing football.

1. A Replicator (of Star Trek The Next Generation fame) - to be able to create any food or beverage at any time.

 

[Alacrity59]

A drive-thru crematorium / used car lot?

 

[Kratos]

#1 - A cure for stupidity and total lack of sense

#2 - A cure for cancer

#3 - One bad-*** source of renewable energy

#4 - Some sort of technology to regrow limbs, organs, etc. from your own DNA

#5 - A universal language translator you could wear like a Bluetooth.

 

[KarthVader]

1. Lightsabers

2. Flying cars

3. Jetpacks

4. Medication or a procedure to eliminate baldness

5. Device that automatically cleans up water

 

[Cutter]

Just one thing. A wind powered car much like the huge wind farms. Two little propellers on the front that would generate it's own power as you drive down the road. Then, of course, some sort of power storage for when you are sitting still or parked.

 

[gerwen]

Just one thing. A wind powered car much like the huge wind farms. Two little propellers on the front that would generate it's own power as you drive down the road. Then, of course, some sort of power storage for when you are sitting still or parked.

Cutter, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

 

[sol92258]

• something to keep stupid people from reproducing
• college football playoff system
• those portable holes that Looney Tunes characters have
• effective snake repellent (sulfur is decent, but doesn't work for all snakes)
• some sort of high-intensity, low-volume sound burst that would destroy the speakers of the cars/stereos of the people that discourteously blare their tunes for the whole neighborhood/parking lot/etc. to hear at 1:00 AM. Would be very nice to be able to walk up and say "Could you please lower that a little". If they do, no problem. If the don't - ready, aim, BOOM! speakers busted = no more music.
  Also would be very useful when sitting in traffic and the inconsiderate jackass in the car next to you is listening to something very distasteful that you're 4 and 6 year old children shouldn't hear...
  "Hey bro, you keep playing music that loud, your speakers might blow"
  "Yeah, right!"
  BOOM!!!

 

[Monkeydad]

• something to keep stupid people from reproducing
• college football playoff system
• those portable holes that Looney Tunes characters have
• effective snake repellent (sulfur is decent, but doesn't work for all snakes)
• some sort of high-intensity, low-volume sound burst that would destroy the speakers of the cars/stereos of the people that discourteously blare their tunes for the whole neighborhood/parking lot/etc. to hear at 1:00 AM. Would be very nice to be able to walk up and say "Could you please lower that a little". If they do, no problem. If the don't - ready, aim, BOOM! speakers busted = no more music.
  Also would be very useful when sitting in traffic and the inconsiderate jackass in the car next to you is listening to something very distasteful that you're 4 and 6 year old children shouldn't hear...
  "Hey bro, you keep playing music that loud, your speakers might blow"
  "Yeah, right!"
  BOOM!!!

I love your list!

I would invent...

1. Bacon that can be grown in the garden or at home (without the mess of slicing up pigs)

2. Well, nothing else is needed.

 

[airplanedoc]

some sort of high-intensity, low-volume sound burst that would destroy the speakers of the cars/stereos of the people that discourteously blare their tunes for the whole neighborhood/parking lot/etc. to hear at 1:00 AM. Would be very nice to be able to walk up and say "Could you please lower that a little". If they do, no problem. If the don't - ready, aim, BOOM! speakers busted = no more music.
Also would be very useful when sitting in traffic and the inconsiderate jackass in the car next to you is listening to something very distasteful that you're 4 and 6 year old children shouldn't hear...
"Hey bro, you keep playing music that loud, your speakers might blow"
"Yeah, right!"
BOOM!!!

Do you mean with a nuclear detonation? I wish someone would come up with one as well

 

[Monkeydad]

Legal cellphone jammers. I wish I had one EVERY DAY.

 

[SpyvSpy]

#5 - A universal language translator you could wear like a Bluetooth.

Now that would be a good one.

 

[Doc4]

#5 - A universal language translator you could wear like a Bluetooth.

Here ... stick this fish in your ear ...

 

[MoJoe]

How about a cream that will grow your beard back instantly so you can shave more than 1x per day?

 

[Cutter]

Cutter, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Not sure I follow you. Have I violated some rule about posting fantasy inventions, or are you just saying it is impossible to recharge an electric car with wind power?

 

[Kratos]

• something to keep stupid people from reproducing

• 
  
  I was going to go with that , but they might be too stupid to go get it done, so I decided I'd rather dam the river at the source.
  
  
  

  Here ... stick this fish in your ear ...

  
  Enough of that Babeling!

 

[pastafarian]

Not sure I follow you. Have I violated some rule about posting fantasy inventions, or are you just saying it is impossible to recharge an electric car with wind power?

The second law of thermodynamics would stop your car from working. The disorder of a closed system always increases with time. In this case it means that some energy will always be lost, mostly through friction. This is the main problem with all perpetual motion machines.

Also, it was a Simpsons reference.

• something to keep stupid people from reproducing

That has already been invented. Suggesting that some people should be prevented from reproducing is in quite bad taste (even as a joke).

 

[adamant]

I was in a training at work today and one of the exercises was to make a list of things that if you would create or implement if you were the boss. Obviously the speaker was quite boring as I started thinking about what I would create if I could do anything (from silly to semi-serious). These are the first five that came to mind as I was half awake and ready to go home from the training.

5. A jock itch spray that doesn't burn like hell upon application.

4. A way to repair the ozone layer.

3. Soylent Green - just kidding. However, I would like to create enough food stuffs or at least the needed natural resources to allow for everyone (especially children) to get the sustenance they require without it being tied into a profit for big businesses.

2. Automatic Gag order on anyone that mentions Brett Favre should keep playing football.

1. A Replicator (of Star Trek The Next Generation fame) - to be able to create any food or beverage at any time.

I think 5 and 4 are mutually exclusive unfortunately and you might want to see a Dr. about that first one!

I sure could go for some romulan pizza though, as long as it's not people.

Not sure I follow you. Have I violated some rule about posting fantasy inventions, or are you just saying it is impossible to recharge an electric car with wind power?

That was a quote from the simpsons. But I think he was referring to the fact that if you are charging the car by wind produced while driving you would be using at least an equal amount of energy to prevent deceleration. A parked car recharging should be fine though.

 

[Cutter]

Looked up The second law of thermodynamics. Thank you. I'm just a silly conductor that rides around on electric locomotives and thought it would be cool. Not in my capacity to ever try, but the OP said if you "could". Obviously I can't. Thanks for the info guys!

 

[blantyre]

Cutter, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

There are many US patents issued on machines that claim perpetual motion as their primary invention. Of course none of them work.

 

[gerwen]

Looked up The second law of thermodynamics. Thank you. I'm just a silly conductor that rides around on electric locomotives and thought it would be cool. Not in my capacity to ever try, but the OP said if you "could". Obviously I can't. Thanks for the info guys!

Hope you didn't feel I was taking a shot at you. It was all joke and simpsons reference.