I am trying to stay positive

[s1mp13m4n]

Hello everyone. I would not normally type this sort of "personal" info on the "net" but I am not sure what else to do. Here is the deal and i am going to just get right to it. I am legally blind, my wife is in college to get a degree to help us in life, and we have a 19 month old daughter. We live with my mother and step father. My mother and step father are very close to loosing the house. We have no control over this and I only get SSI each month so there is no help I can offer.
My mom shared a letter with me today that said that the city was going to auction off the house on 4/29/10. They are 3 months behind on the house and the bank will not take a partial payment, they want it all. We are very close to (as far as I know) having the power and water turned off. They paid the past due but the current bills have hit, you know the deal.
I was told by a Pastor that we are unfortunately stuck in the middle of a situation that we have no control over nor can do much about as this is not our house nor our bills, so we suffer or not suffer based on what my step dad does. I am not trying to start a religion issue here, but I am asking you for your prayers. I do not know what else to do. I am praying, listening to XM CH32 The message and listening to my audio Bible. I do not know anything else that I can do. Thank you all for the prayers, kind words, and support. I am sad right now and a bit scared because I just am not sure what is going to happen. I am not trying to jump the gun and think the worst, but it is somewhat hard not to. It is easy to be positive when you make a 6 figure income, but I do not have that. I am not 100% sure why we are in this situation....pride on their part to get help, lack of work, too lazy to work, living above their means, poor money management, maybe some of all of it....I just do not know.

 

[chrking]

That is a horrendously awful situation. My thoughts are with you.

My brother just went through something similar with his own home. He was out of work with no job for the last year and constantly negotiating with the bank as his wife worked overtime to support the kids. Things have now miraculously turned around as the economy has improved. He now has a new job, a new mortgage and more security.

I know the hell he went through negotiating with the bank to keep the house, but they were lucky in that they were able to stay afloat with a flexible lender.

I hope you can work out something similar. Things will turn around! Do pinch pennies and do stay positive! Keep talking to that lender, as there is no way it can be good for them to reposes the house with depressed housing sales nationwide. My guess is they will be more flexible than you imagine in negotiating a plan to get your family back in the black.

Most of all Keep trying.....every damn day !


Best,

Chris

 

[Obsessed]

Try giving these guys a call. It looks like they deal with home foreclosure issues, among other things:

Virginia Legal Aid Society

If they can't advise you (or your mother and stepfather), they may be able to direct you to an organization that can.

Good luck!

 

[goby]

Try giving these guys a call. It looks like they deal with home foreclosure issues, among other things:

Virginia Legal Aid Society

If they can't advise you (or your mother and stepfather), they may be able to direct you to an organization that can.

Good luck!

I second talking to a lawyer. I am an attorney, but only practice family law. Perhaps bankruptcy is an option to save the house, especially since you are only 3 payments behind.

 

[Walt Whitman]

I wish I could be more specific, but I remember reading about a month ago that there was a program from the Federal Government to help people having problems keeping up with there mortgage payments by "requiring" the bank to reduce payments by reducing the principle owed, or the interest rate, or spreading the loan over a longer period of time. I read that not many homeowners that were facing foreclosure had taken advantage of the program.

I am sorry for the predicament you find yourself in, but perhaps you can contact your Congressman or Congresswoman to point you in the right direction to take advantage of this program. It sounds like your situation was exactly what this program was designed for.

 

[C Reed]

I can't offer advice on fiscal problems but I can offer them on a positive out look.

I've gone through tough times and I know it can feel like your back is up against the wall but there are always options. I had a really rough 2009 as my marriage ended in late 2008 and I therefore had to leave england, give up my company and all my friends, and move to america with 2 suitcases. I told people I was going to make it through the year if it killed me.

When ever I tell my dad my problems he says: The test of a man is not avoiding the hard times, its what you do when the hard times come.

You might think you don't have much to offer in this situation but you do, and thats a positive out look, be a loving husband and son in law, talk to your wife and family, tell them it will be alright even if your not sure. Just smiling and taking what ever joy you can and sharing it will help more then you can ever know. Embrace your faith if it gives you comfort and share it if it comforts your family.

 

[LittleJon]

I can't offer much advice but I can offer my prayers, I've seen some of your posts and have enjoyed readying them. I hope you and your family pull through this all ok. just remember, this too will end.

 

[Sterling Cooper]

Definitely second the idea of contacting the Virginia Legal Aid Society. They'll know exactly what avenues you have to try and hold off the foreclosure. Best wishes and stay positive. This is a god awful time for a lot of people in this country, and we all need to work our way through it--individually and collectively.

 

[sproosemoose]

I am sorry man, I hope things turn out OK. Not losing hope is the most important thing in the end and trying your best to make things happen.

 

[rm71]

A real heart breaking situation. I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.

 

[Luc]

Sorry to read this, my thoughts are with you!

 

[s1mp13m4n]

Good morning everyone. I got up this morning and "negitive/down" thoughts were in my head but I simply can not give in to them. I got up, took a shower and I had a nice shave and I am wearing my favorite AS....Pinaud Clubman. I am going to speak with mom today and try and get all the info that I can just to get true facrs rather than "cries of uncertainty and desparation". I do know that they do not have a personal lawyer helping with this. I do know that some paper work was filled out with their credit union which I think is to help refinance or lower payments or something.....I am not sure. I am going to get the info that I can. I am glad that my 19 month old daughter is too youung to know whaty is going on. Also, my wife's 95 year old grandmother just passed away and my wife is taking that hard. I will do what I can here via prayer, a hug, being positive, etc. That is what I have to offer so I will use it and not over look it. I can not help with money but I can help by doing my best to love. Right now I am doing ok and I smell nice. Thank you all for the help. Keep the replies coming and I will update as I know more.

 

[Walt Whitman]

Try this site makinghomeaffordable.gov, or call 1-888-995-HOPE (4673) to talk to "a HUD-approved housing counselor for free," according to the website.

I hope this helps.

 

[hdhaskell]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

It's a scary situation, made worse by feeling out of control. I'm in a good place personally right now -- so I hope I don't sound patronizing -- but you have:

1. God
2. a loving wife and child
3. a brighter future ahead (when your wife graduates)
4. a steady check, which, however small it may seem, is absolutely guaranteed.

And 5. You are legally blind but can still get an excellent shave anyway.

Now, apart from #5, you probably know lots of people who could say the same. But these things are still wonderful, and the world is covered over with people who wish they had them.

 

[hdhaskell]

and #6 -- you just helped me get over the 50-post milestone so I can now BST and review!

 

[Zenas]

Do you belong to a church and, if so, what help can the diaconate offer? This is explicitly their territory-they should help.

 

[gaseousclay]

sorry to hear about your housing woes - I hope things work out for you.

I was in a similar situation with my wife. we didn't lose our house but with the economy being as bad as it is there were times when it felt like we were coming dangerously close. I was able to keep my job but had my hours cut and my wife struggled with intermittent employment. luckily, she did consulting work which paid a great deal of money and she's pretty good at saving money. however, my wife did go through periods of depression and I experienced a lot of anxiety over whether or not we'd be able to continueu living in our house. things worked out for us in the end but the anxiety is still there. i'm glad you're able to keep a positive attitude about your situation - talking about it helps and if there's one thing I appreciate about this forum, it's that there's always someone here with helpful advice. hang in there

 

[Obsessed]

I will do what I can here via prayer, a hug, being positive, etc. That is what I have to offer so I will use it and not over look it. I can not help with money but I can help by doing my best to love.

Forgive me for being blunt - that's all well and good, but please, please, please take immediate steps to protect yourself. Call the Legal Aid Society (they won't charge you); call the Making Home Affordable number that Walt Whitman posted. Also, it may not be too late to talk to the bank about avoiding the foreclosure sale. I'm a little surprised to hear that they won't take a partial payment of the amount in arrears on the mortgage. Remember, generally speaking banks don't want to foreclose if they don't have to.

Be proactive. It's good for you, for your wife and daughter, and for your mother and stepfather.

Good luck!

 

[s1mp13m4n]

Try this site makinghomeaffordable.gov, or call 1-888-995-HOPE (4673) to talk to "a HUD-approved housing counselor for free," according to the website.

I hope this helps.

I sent that to my mother in an email so they have more tools to use and try. Thank you all for the help and advice.

 

[CaribbeanSoul]

I lost my home in the first wave of foreclosures in 2008. I highly recommend contacting an attorney. There are so many ways that an attorney can handle this to help forestall the impending doom...unfortunately I did not find out about them until my home had been taken by the trustees.