Depression

[Saturn]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, or if there is any right place to post this.

Before I came to B&B and took up traditional wetshaving, I'd been in a deep depression for a while. I tried seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist, and tried an antidepressant prescribed by the latter, none of which helped me.

A large part of why I got so interested in traditional wetshaving was because I was hoping, in some sense, that it would change my life. I know that sounds like a tall order for shaving, and perhaps I was merely setting myself up for failure, expecting so much out of a simple hobby. But I hoped that this new interest would give me something to direct my energy towards, help to give me focus, and be the first step in pulling myself out of this depression.

To a small extent, it worked. Not enough, though, and now I find myself slipping back into that dark place very quickly. Even my shaves have become a bit of a frustration. I can get BBS on my cheeks and DFS everywhere else, with my DE razor, with little effort, but that isn't good enough for me. I expect perfection, and can never seem to achieve it. At this point, I don't know whether I'll stay with wetshaving. I probably will, though; I look absolutely ridiculous with a beard (mainly because my facial hair refuses to actually grow into anything resembling a proper beard, instead insisting on simply looking messy and unkempt, so that I constantly look like a man who was just released from prison).

I'm not really sure what to do. Even my posting this here to a bunch of strangers on a shaving forum is a bit pathetic, and I expect I'll regret this post in a very little while.

 

[rickboone1]

Stay focused on the goal. Remind yourself constantly of the good days. Keep up what you're doing with treatments, medications and hobbies. This may take years to battle. You're better now than you would be untreated, so keep it up.

 

[SalvadorMontenegro]

I find it's easier to talk to strangers. Do you see a therapist? If not, you should consider it. It's helped me a lot. Exercise helps, as well. Endorphins.

I don't know what the source of the issue is and I'm not qualified to advise you, but I've suffered from it my entire life, to this day, and you just keep living and doing what you can to improve yourself.

 

[bradyarz]

... Even my posting this here to a bunch of strangers on a shaving forum is a bit pathetic, and I expect I'll regret this post in a very little while.

i would have to argue with the above statement. this website is a brotherhood. i wouldn't have said that when i joined, but having been here almost a year now, i have to say there is much support to be found here. as insignificant as it may seem, i do empathize with you, and i'm sure many others here do as well.

having never been clinically treated, i can't say 100% that i've been where you are, but i did have a dark period for about 10 years or so that i still lapse into from time to time.

i can't speak to your triggers or experiences, but as far as the shaving goes, may i say - just take a step back and enjoy it for what it is: it is a time where you can be alone. it is a time for reflection. it's a time where i do some of my best thinking (other times for thinking involve stogies, but that's another subject).

so yes, thank you for posting here. if nothing else, it serves as a reminder to me of things i've dealt with in my past and how life can be a constant struggle.

 

[kg0mz]

I don't think you will regret your post. It is good to be direct and talk openly about depression just as you would about appendicitis. Don't give up on treatment that is available. Sometimes finding the right treatment regimen takes some experimentation. Depresssion is treatable and manageable.

BBS on the cheeks and DFS elsewhere is quite an accomplishment. It takes lots of practice to get to that point. I think that rituals, like wet shaving, can privide something to look forward to and enhance our lives. It sounds like you are good at it. It ain't treatment, but seeking a valued activity sure makes good sense.

 

[Hagbardr]

I know how you feel. I was let go from a job in spring of '09, and I've been in and out of work since.

It got worse when I took a job in the spring and realized it was a big mistake. I was paid the absolute minimum salary allowed by law, none of my co-workers had gotten a raise in years, and the computers were still running Windows 98.

I was let go after 2 months, and then denied unemployment because my tenure there had reset my base year.

My wife and I are trying to get out of her father's house and into our own place, but my unemployment has done a number on our credit scores and we just don't have the money.

I was getting really discouraged by the job hunt, the lack of responses, and the interviews that went no-where.

But now I have four solid leads for long term work and a one-day assignment next week, so I'll make the best of what comes to me.

I also just started taking an antidepressant. It's still too soon to tell how that's going to work for me.

 

[Jim]

While the B&B has a large and diverse knowledge base, this kind of health care issue should be discussed one on one with your health care provider.

Please contact them today.

 

[DanOK]

You, my friend, are doing great and already know the joy of shaving everyday. Please do not think the goal of every shave is perfection. The goal of every shave is having that time to do something you enjoy regardless of the maelstrom that surrounds us everyday. I know I own a small business.

I have two members of my immediate family that cope with depression and bi-polar disorders and I assure you that you are not alone, or pathetic, in the daily battle with this disease. As rickboone1 noted you are better today than if you were untreated. Remember, you have friends here who ask no more of you than, are you OK, are you enjoying your shaves, and please participate a little when you can. So far today, you have reached all those goals.

Thanks for being here, Oh and since my shave was less than seller this morning (tried out a new/old SE) please pass the sepitic pencil, I look funny with that bit of toilet paper on my face.

You take good care, Dan

 

[chris456]

I would never refer to asking for help as pathetic. But it's one of those things that can be pretty tough, but it gets easier with practice.

Looks like other people have mentioned that depression is very treatable, but often where people fall short is actually treating it, whether it's with meds, counseling, support groups or a combination of treatments. I think 3 of the most important things when comes to managing depression is asking for help, not isolating and showing up for treatment. These things don't usually come naturally, but as I mentioned practice gets us better at them.

 

[jsrdrnr]

I know where you are coming from. I have suffered with depression all my life. You really need to be in treatment of some sort. It does not change overnight. It sometimes takes quite a while, but it is possible to have a good life. Hobbies are a good thing and can help. Hang in there.

 

[40boy]

Keep moving forward.

Talk to your doctor.
Another therapist.
A different medication. (There are many)

New goals.
New surroundings.
Everything is not life and death, do or die. Enjoy the moment.

Sometimes "Damn Fine" is good enough.

 

[Woodash]

Of course this forum is not a substitute for proper health care services, but in all likelihood, it does offer support and provide a valuable sense of perspective from others who have walked in your shoes.
Just some random thoughts:

- I wouldn't regret your posting here in any way. We all have some kind of crap that we have to deal with, and no doubt plenty of people are in a similar situation as you.

- Go easy on yourself. You don't have to be perfect; you don't have to have the greatest beard; you don't have to solve this in a day.

- Don't give up wet-shaving. Just as a small practice, hang on to it for those times that you no doubt will enjoy it. Hey - just call it a symbolic gesture of a small positive step, but don't give it up.

- Antidepressants aren't for everybody. For those who have found them effective, it uusually takes some time to find the right one. Stick with your health provider and work through it and other options.

I wish I had something more to offer...

 

[mmadha]

Saturn, let me start by saying I also suffer from depression and am currently undergoing a mixture of therapy and anti-depressants. First, your post here should not be regretted since I found one of the best ways to help your depression is consulting a network of people to help. In my own case, my depression was paired with extreme social anxiety so I know the comfort of talking to a community from behind a keyboard as safe and secure.

I think the most important thing to remember is there is always light at the end of the tunnel in your life as a whole and in your adventures in wet shaving. Just like in life, in wet shaving if you remain resolute and set clear goals you will improve and come to find satisfaction in this improvement. I am going through some very difficult times myself right now (recent graduate now dealing with unemployment and a very small network to aide my job search) but I remain confident things will get better. Also, I believe talking to a therapists and seeking mental health professionals has helped lift me out of the darkest of times.

Good Luck my Friend and Hope you feel better.

 

[Jasonian]

Unless you've found really fantastic professionals, neither psychologists nor psychiatrists are going to be able to offer long-term self-applied solutions to mental health dilemmas. (like depression)

My wife is a counselor, and while I have never liked psychology for its lack of emphasis of the individual (psychology was my college minor), I have a deep respect for a highly skilled counselor who takes a holistic approach with the individual at the center of focus. It works. It's about the only external approach that can work, imho.

It's kind of like finding the right martial art to meet your needs. Counseling may be just what you need.

Depression is an ugly beast.

 

[RF1963]

Depression is an ugly beast.

but it can be tamed or at least caged.

 

[dmm26]

I'm happy you posted this Saturn! Like you and a lot of other people I have suffered from depression and still do from time to time and my GF does as well. You are not alone with this condition my friend!

I had a terrible bout with depression 5 years back that lasted me over 2 years! It was horrible. But as others have said here, with the right medication and help you'll get through it!

I too thought that if I "got into something" that I would come out of the fog. I tried all kinds of things, I started a small business (lost thousands of dollars), I worked as much as I could, even getting another part time job so that all I did was work ( made money but still wasn't happy), I got back into collecting things (started collecting vinyl toys that were limited edition, spent tons of cash) None of these things made me happy or got me back on track. It really wasn't until I got on medication and started hanging around with my old friends more that I became "myself" again! It made a world of difference to me and my friends that were all wondering about me.I used to never answer their calls as I had decided that they somehow weren't calling for anything in particular and I shouldn't bother answering their calls.

Chin up man! you'll get there! If you want to PM me or e-mail me to talk feel free! I'm no doctor but I can listen real good, just ask my girlfriend

 

[cernel_joson]

I'm glad that someone brought this up as someone who has been living and dealing with my own issues for a long time and who took up wet shaving to try and take better care of myself. Dealing with depression can be like dealing with addiction--and probably results from the same emptiness--it can be a lifelong and daily battle.

To bring it back to shaving, what appealed to me about it was the meditative quality of it, the daily necessity of it, and the care you have to show yourself when you do it. When you're suffering from depression it can be a terrible chore to even wake up in the morning. It helps to have something that you're interested in doing and looking forward to in your day--even if it's 'just' shaving.

When you're shaving, you step outside of your head and focus on the task at hand, and the task at hand is making yourself look and feel better. You whip up a lather and massage your face with something that smells great--it's massage and aromatherapy. And then you remove another day's growth from your face, turning rough to smooth, and turning stubble, and all it symbolizes to society (unemployment, dirtiness, laziness, illness) to refreshed bare skin. Sure you nick yourself and bleed every now and then, and that reminds you to get better tomorrow, for the next shave.

But at the end, when you're feeling your face it's a reminder that you're capable of improving yourself and your conditions, that it's a good thing to treat yourself with a little loving kindness, that's it's worth it and there are other things out there worth doing. Shaving, like living, is something that you more or less have to do, but there are always ways to make it better.

Of course there's always more work to do. I hope you find new ways to make your life better. There are so many ways to do it, and every little thing counts: meditation, exercise, diet, relationships, etc., etc.--even shaving.

Anyway, I hope this didn't come off as preachy or pretentious. I'm pulling for you brother. Be kind to yourself.

 

[The Nid Hog]

Saturn, we're glad to have you here. This is a great place to come to talk about shaving or whatever else pops into your head at lunchtime or at two in the morning. The light is always on at B&B.

Even so, I hope that you are still working with professionals about this. Don't give up. If you feel like you're not getting what you need, try a new doctor or a new counselor. Keep at it. In the meantime, we'll be here.

 

[evandood]

Winston Churchill suffered from depression his entire life, he called it the black dog. No matter how great his accomplishments he always wanted more. I suffered depression too, I wanted life to be as I wanted it, with little tolerance of the failures of others and certaintly no tolerence of my own faults. As I got older and had children though, I slowly came to the conclusion that life is a struggle, but a worthwhile struggle. We are not perfect nor meant to be. We do our best, pick ourselves up when we fall and learn along the way. Remember, the Kite that flies highest does so against the wind, not with it.

 

[pelicano]

Keep moving forward.

Talk to your doctor.
Another therapist.
A different medication. (There are many)

New goals.
New surroundings.
Everything is not life and death, do or die. Enjoy the moment.

Sometimes "Damn Fine" is good enough.

+1

I suffer from bouts of depression, and I have been on medication again for over a year now. I don't keep this as a secret from friends or acquaintances. I actually wear my meds on my chest like a medal which surprises some, including people I met who are on medication, but chose not to tell anyone.
Things are better now that I have made some changes in my life (medication and therapy have been a great help). I have begun to understand what I need to let go, and what I need to keep. Wetshaving is one of the keepers!
I stopped trying to get BBS (my skin can't take it) a while ago. DFS is just fine for me as well as most of the members of this board (though we like to brag sometimes).
Shaving with a straight has not changed my life, but it created a challenge that requires patience and a bit of Zen. It has brought some very beautiful objects into my life, as well as enjoyable mornings.

Hang in there, friend. We may be strangers, but we're nice strangers.