Dear Feather,
I'm writing you this letter to let you know that it is over between us. I know this might come as a shock to you since in your eyes everything was fine between us. But things were never quite right. I really tried to make our relationship work, but you would always hurt me.
When our relationship first started I was new to the whole wet shaving routine. I had heard great things about you. People talked you up and bragged about your superior sharpness and fine cutting edge. I fell for the hype. Oh sure I saw other people initially. Other blades managed to mow down my whiskers, but never quite as close as you. Despite this closeness that we shared you always managed to hurt me, leaving weepers, nicks, and cuts. I blamed myself. I blamed my technique. I blamed my inexperience. People always told me "go slow", "respect the blade", "don't apply pressure".
Well now I'm done making excuses for your shortcomings. I've realized that I need to stop blaming myself for the problems that you yourself cause. How do I know that you cause these problems and not me? Here comes the shocking part... I've been seeing someone else for the last few weeks!!! This someone's name you ask? Gillette 7 o'clock Sharpedge (yellow pack).
My yellow pack friend gives me the same smooth shave you once provided, but without all of the pain. It doesn't make excuses for poor shaves, because it doesn't provide poor shaves. The third shave is as smooth and comfortable as the first. It doesn't give me a painful shave the first time, then smooth the second, then painful the third. It has done all of this for me over the last several weeks without causing a single weeper, a single nick, a single cut, or any razor burn. And did I mention that I did something with my new friend the other day that I would never think of doing with you? I shaved my head with it. Close... Smooth... Comfortable even on my dome!
Because of this we are through. Done. Finito...
Oh and don't go trying anything sneaky or try to bully your way back into my life because my 7 o'clock friend is Russian, and you never mess with the Russians. They will kick your arse.
Sincerely,
Zatx
I'm writing you this letter to let you know that it is over between us. I know this might come as a shock to you since in your eyes everything was fine between us. But things were never quite right. I really tried to make our relationship work, but you would always hurt me.
When our relationship first started I was new to the whole wet shaving routine. I had heard great things about you. People talked you up and bragged about your superior sharpness and fine cutting edge. I fell for the hype. Oh sure I saw other people initially. Other blades managed to mow down my whiskers, but never quite as close as you. Despite this closeness that we shared you always managed to hurt me, leaving weepers, nicks, and cuts. I blamed myself. I blamed my technique. I blamed my inexperience. People always told me "go slow", "respect the blade", "don't apply pressure".
Well now I'm done making excuses for your shortcomings. I've realized that I need to stop blaming myself for the problems that you yourself cause. How do I know that you cause these problems and not me? Here comes the shocking part... I've been seeing someone else for the last few weeks!!! This someone's name you ask? Gillette 7 o'clock Sharpedge (yellow pack).
My yellow pack friend gives me the same smooth shave you once provided, but without all of the pain. It doesn't make excuses for poor shaves, because it doesn't provide poor shaves. The third shave is as smooth and comfortable as the first. It doesn't give me a painful shave the first time, then smooth the second, then painful the third. It has done all of this for me over the last several weeks without causing a single weeper, a single nick, a single cut, or any razor burn. And did I mention that I did something with my new friend the other day that I would never think of doing with you? I shaved my head with it. Close... Smooth... Comfortable even on my dome!
Because of this we are through. Done. Finito...
Oh and don't go trying anything sneaky or try to bully your way back into my life because my 7 o'clock friend is Russian, and you never mess with the Russians. They will kick your arse.
Sincerely,
Zatx