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Best fight you weren't in.

theperfectstorm

theperfectstorm

Upon leaving Central Market the other day I was stuck at a light across from a collegiate icehouse. At least three police cars were already there. Suddenly at least 12-14 college ages tools come flying out of all the doors and literally vaulting over the walls of the bar area into the parking lot.

Total drunken tool throwdown right? Nope. Instead of commencing to rumbling they form a semi-circle and began to cheer on two as-yet unidentified antagonists. As my light changes I pull up to see two 20 year old blonde sorority girl co-eds sucker-punch the lady cops holding them back and proceed to go back to whaling the crap out of each other, a situation singularly unhelped by the sudden appearance of the tool cheering section.

Unfortunately traffic prevented me from staying for the finale, but honestly, I'm not greedy--suburban college girl-fight with potential felony charges--that's plenty for me.

So this little interlude got me thinking......We got soldiers, cops and so many Europeans that at least a couple must qualify as "hooligans" of some sort, as well as enough rednecks (myself geographically included) that somebody here has probably at least witnessed a pretty amusing throwdown or two.

Paint us a picture, lads.
 
ScotchDave

ScotchDave

Ok, so in some bars they have these fake plastic bottles so the bar staff can practice shaking them around, these are made of some high impact polymer and will not shatter. They also get really slippy when wet.

So, there's this wee guy at the bar, and he's acting up and moaning at the bar man because the drink's not the way he wanted it. After a while the barman get's fed up and tells him to **** off, I'm making my way over to fling him out.

As I'm on my way over the little bastard leans over the bar and grabs the first bottle he can, the unbreakable practice bottle, and tries to smash it on the bar. The bottle bounces off the bar, slips out of his hand and into his eye socket, this dazes him and he falls over. One of the more amusing fling-outs...
 
Bluestaco

Bluestaco

I arrived far too early for an arena rock concert long ago.
A headbanger guy who was around 6 foot 175 pounds was chasing a screaming, tiny 5 foot nothing girl in spandex and mall bangs around the nearly empty arena. She turned and headed up the stairs and got about 3/4 of the way up the arena, but the guy caught up.

It was one of those "lifting a burning car off of a child" moments, I guess, because that little gal planted her foot, pivoted, and launched a right at the guy's chin just as he reached her. Gravity, assisted by sheer rage (I guess) concentrated an amazing load into her little fist, and she connected. (Her technique was nice, though, so she might have also known something.)

The guy collapsed in a wad of hair, earrings, and leather and he rolled all the way to the expensive seats.
Applause ensued.
The guy never did move and was carried out on a stretcher. I'd have to say that was the most amazing punch I've ever seen landed. I'm guessing he had it coming, more than likely.
 
Phog Allen

Phog Allen

ScotchDave said:
Ok, so in some bars they have these fake plastic bottles so the bar staff can practice shaking them around, these are made of some high impact polymer and will not shatter. They also get really slippy when wet.

So, there's this wee guy at the bar, and he's acting up and moaning at the bar man because the drink's not the way he wanted it. After a while the barman get's fed up and tells him to **** off, I'm making my way over to fling him out.

As I'm on my way over the little bastard leans over the bar and grabs the first bottle he can, the unbreakable practice bottle, and tries to smash it on the bar. The bottle bounces off the bar, slips out of his hand and into his eye socket, this dazes him and he falls over. One of the more amusing fling-outs...
Click to expand...

God I hate these "short man's disease" guys at bars. It is why I quit that scene way back in my twenties. These druknen idiots acting like they are bad men. I would have loved to see the stupid little bollocks as he fell over his bar stool. These guys always land on the wrong side of the issue, especailly the physical part and then like to whine about it. I hope he had a headache for a week.

Bluestaco said:
I arrived far too early for an arena rock concert long ago.
A headbanger guy who was around 6 foot 175 pounds was chasing a screaming, tiny 5 foot nothing girl in spandex and mall bangs around the nearly empty arena. She turned and headed up the stairs and got about 3/4 of the way up the arena, but the guy caught up.

It was one of those "lifting a burning car off of a child" moments, I guess, because that little gal planted her foot, pivoted, and launched a right at the guy's chin just as he reached her. Gravity, assisted by sheer rage (I guess) concentrated an amazing load into her little fist, and she connected. (Her technique was nice, though, so she might have also known something.)

The guy collapsed in a wad of hair, earrings, and leather and he rolled all the way to the expensive seats.
Applause ensued.
The guy never did move and was carried out on a stretcher. I'd have to say that was the most amazing punch I've ever seen landed. I'm guessing he had it coming, more than likely.
Click to expand...

That is too funny. In this day and age that moment would live with you forever on YouTube since everyone carries pocket sized camcorders around. Good for her.

Regards, Todd
 
Walter Sobchak

Walter Sobchak

In the good old days I was the door-man at a bar in Northampton, MA. Great bar, lots of different types of people hung out there on Friday nights (big karaoke night). Veterans, townies, punks, Smith College women, UMass students, jocks, extreme-sports types; really good mix of folks. Oddly, they almost always got along. We had very few fights and I NEVER had to get the cops involved. Anyway, one night a group of skater guys was hanging out about fifteen feet away from me. Regular patrons, knew them fairly well. Two of the skinny ones get to jawing about something. They start scrapping a bit. Not a full-on battle, just a little scrum. I jump between them, remind them it's best to let cooler heads prevail, and that they can stay if they abide. Cool. They chill.

Twenty minutes later, they erupt. This time throwing haymakers. I jump right in again, one of the bar tenders comes to my aid and we separate them. I'm escorting this little skinny cricket out when he puts his hands on my shoulders, jumps about 3 feet in the air and open hand slaps his antagonist across the face. CRACK! It was a helluva slap, and a damn fine jump. Anyway, he's yelling "YEAH! YOU SEE! I GOT YOU! HAHAA!" to the other guy. So I, more forcefully this time, got him outside. He kept carrying on, and yelling about how much of a badass he is. When I get him outside, he's still talking big talk to the guy he slapped. He starts slowly walking away from me backwards, full of bravado, chest puffed out, arms boldly out to his sides. As he turns around, he twists his ankle on the curb, stumbles a few feet, and goes headfirst into the side of a parked car. WHOMP! He's laying on the rain soaked pavement alternating between holding his knee and his head and still talking about, "Yeah, you see what you get when you F with me?"

Sweet heavens it was hilarious.:lol:
 
nikkuchan

nikkuchan

I got one, maybe not as exciting as others, but I found it grand nonetheless.

While in Tokyo going to a job interview, I was having trouble finding the place I was supposed to go to, so I asked the local police for directions. The man was super polite and told me exactly where to go. I went to my interview and everything went well, and on my way back I passed by the police station that I asked directions about, but now there was something going on. Some old man with his pants halfway dropped and his belt, entirely off his pants, in his hand, he was halfway passing out (maybe just an act), and the polite policeman along with 2 others were holding him up asking his question, but they suddenly turned SCARY, like really scary. They were talking like mobsters and yelling like they were gonna beat him down right there. I guess the guy was flashing people or something, and the police weren't having that. It was a great sight.
 
theperfectstorm

theperfectstorm

Irving, Texas about 15 years ago. Small middle-class cul-de-sac house party among 20-somethings. That time of the mid-90's when we were all honorary "X-Men" if you know what I mean. Good friend of mine was along, and his particular response to that specific pharmaceutical was to simply get calmly naked for some undetermined part of the evening. Not wild and crazy naked, just weirdly calm having a nice conversation with you near the piano naked.

At some point during the evening there was a slight ruckus when a guest became somewhat belligerent and was asked to leave. Upon refusing to vacate he was escorted out by the baddest dude there--all 135 pounds of my naked friend. Shannon (the naked guy) calmly walked the guy out to his truck, assisted him into the bed of the truck and then proceeded to repeatedly (and rhythmically, it must be noted) slam the guys face against the bed of the truck--all the while stark naked. Just standing over this bigger guy in complete serene silence--d*ck just swingin' in the breeze.

After a while of this Shannon calmly hopped down from the bed of the truck, affixed the tailgate and then turned slowly to the growing crowd. Slapping his hips and buttocks repeatedly a confused look came across his face. Blissfully unaware of his nakedness, he simply said "Where the hell are my smokes?" and then silently walked back into the house to find a cigarette.

Pretty quiet rest of the evening, not surprisingly.
 
VfBStuttgart

VfBStuttgart

Holyfield v Tyson 1996.

Seriously though, the only fight I can think of which was amusing was also disturbingly gruesome. In fact it was not amusing but more completely bewildering, not unlike Holyfield v Tyson.
 
citizensoldierny

citizensoldierny

Let me think now. Worked as a Correction Officer, Emergency Medical Technician in a major Northern city that starts with a B:wink:, spent time in U.S. Army combat arms, worked security a bunch here and there, and have a bad temper. Looking back I think I might have seen a few fights, maybe even participated in some fisticuffs if I recall correctly:wink::wink:
 
RichGem

RichGem

Walter Sobchak said:
In the good old days I was the door-man at a bar in Northampton, MA. Great bar, lots of different types of people hung out there on Friday nights (big karaoke night). Veterans, townies, punks, Smith College women, UMass students, jocks, extreme-sports types; really good mix of folks. Oddly, they almost always got along. We had very few fights and I NEVER had to get the cops involved. Anyway, one night a group of skater guys was hanging out about fifteen feet away from me. Regular patrons, knew them fairly well. Two of the skinny ones get to jawing about something. They start scrapping a bit. Not a full-on battle, just a little scrum. I jump between them, remind them it's best to let cooler heads prevail, and that they can stay if they abide. Cool. They chill.

Twenty minutes later, they erupt. This time throwing haymakers. I jump right in again, one of the bar tenders comes to my aid and we separate them. I'm escorting this little skinny cricket out when he puts his hands on my shoulders, jumps about 3 feet in the air and open hand slaps his antagonist across the face. CRACK! It was a helluva slap, and a damn fine jump. Anyway, he's yelling "YEAH! YOU SEE! I GOT YOU! HAHAA!" to the other guy. So I, more forcefully this time, got him outside. He kept carrying on, and yelling about how much of a badass he is. When I get him outside, he's still talking big talk to the guy he slapped. He starts slowly walking away from me backwards, full of bravado, chest puffed out, arms boldly out to his sides. As he turns around, he twists his ankle on the curb, stumbles a few feet, and goes headfirst into the side of a parked car. WHOMP! He's laying on the rain soaked pavement alternating between holding his knee and his head and still talking about, "Yeah, you see what you get when you F with me?"

Sweet heavens it was hilarious.:lol:
Click to expand...

If I were a bunny, carrot snot would be shooting out my nose. ROTFL.
 
K

knlgskr

Never saw a "good" fight but have seen a couple of killings too many; one was where one told the other he was going home to get his gun and come back and shoot him and the other shot him.
 
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