Anything as polarizing as the Veg tends to draw my attention, so I just had to try the stuff. Suffice to say, I am not among the chosen.
I had phoned up my father to discuss the happenings of the last few days, and mentioned my unsuccessful foray into Vegdom, and he started laughing uncontrollably. "Let me tell you a story," sez he...
"Right after I graduated High School, I tried to find a job. There really were none to be had, so I hitchhiked to Texas, to my grandfather's house to see if there was better luck out that way. Granddad was a preacher, a farmer, and a barber. He used a straight razor until the day he passed, and had an impressive collection of aftershaves. Now I had been carrying a bottle of Aqua Velva around for a while and using only it. Didn't much like it, but I had payed good money for it and wanted to use it up. I finally finished it off at Granddad's, so I went looking one morning for something to slap on my face. Right there was a big bottle of that Lilac Vegetal."
"I slapped a little on, and instantly knew I had made a mistake. The stink was terrible. I tried to wash it off, but couldn't escape the smell. I had things to do though, so I went on with my day. Later on, I asked Granddad about it because I thought it had 'turned'. Granddad said, 'Boy, that Vegetal will peel the paint off the walls and it takes a certain kind of man to wear it. You aint that certain kind of man, and truth be told neither am I. The bottle is pretty neat though, so just let it alone and stick with the Clubman.' "
So not only am I among the unchosen, but evidently so are the last three generations of my family. We all agree on Clubman though 
I told Dad I'd hold on to the bottle until he could give it a sniff for old time's sake, but we both agreed that afterward it should be stored in the lawnmower shed until it can be properly disposed of by the county hazmat team.
I had phoned up my father to discuss the happenings of the last few days, and mentioned my unsuccessful foray into Vegdom, and he started laughing uncontrollably. "Let me tell you a story," sez he...
"Right after I graduated High School, I tried to find a job. There really were none to be had, so I hitchhiked to Texas, to my grandfather's house to see if there was better luck out that way. Granddad was a preacher, a farmer, and a barber. He used a straight razor until the day he passed, and had an impressive collection of aftershaves. Now I had been carrying a bottle of Aqua Velva around for a while and using only it. Didn't much like it, but I had payed good money for it and wanted to use it up. I finally finished it off at Granddad's, so I went looking one morning for something to slap on my face. Right there was a big bottle of that Lilac Vegetal."
"I slapped a little on, and instantly knew I had made a mistake. The stink was terrible. I tried to wash it off, but couldn't escape the smell. I had things to do though, so I went on with my day. Later on, I asked Granddad about it because I thought it had 'turned'. Granddad said, 'Boy, that Vegetal will peel the paint off the walls and it takes a certain kind of man to wear it. You aint that certain kind of man, and truth be told neither am I. The bottle is pretty neat though, so just let it alone and stick with the Clubman.' "
So not only am I among the unchosen, but evidently so are the last three generations of my family. We all agree on Clubman though I told Dad I'd hold on to the bottle until he could give it a sniff for old time's sake, but we both agreed that afterward it should be stored in the lawnmower shed until it can be properly disposed of by the county hazmat team.
Ribbit!
