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Take A Deep Breath & Then Walk Into The Fire

That's what he did. My dad shaped my life. He instilled his values, compassion and most of all his courage. As a career firefighter he chose to willingly go into burning buldings.

The previous week began with being put to the test. Can I walk a firery cancer road and walk back out?

Last Monday morning (2/15), I found the dreaded lump. It wasn't there Sunday. A classic symptom for IBC, a lump that seemingly appears overnight. It doesn't show up early on mammogram but that's another subject.

The next morning, I was in the office of my internest. From his office I was sent for a mammogram and then a ultrasound.

Wednesday was numerous phone calls.

Thursday more doctor appointments and testing. Result: Wait for the entire weekend.

It was the longest weekend I can remember. Even with the love and support of my adult children, brothers, family and friends that are also my family, the minutes ticked by slowly like hours.

That I was alone beat me up worse than if someone had taken a 2x4 or baseball bat and beat me with it. I spent the weekend keeping as busy as I could in my shop, doing what I love, making product.

With the long weekend wait behind me, my doctor called with the results of the breast/lymph node biopsies: positive for malignancy.

Today was a full body bone scan with contrast and a full body CT also with contrast to look for involvement elsewhere.

This Thursday afternooon, I will know the remainer of the treatment plan which now includes mastectomy and removal of at least 4 lymph nodes.

Chemo, radiation, either one or both, are still undecided until full results of the above and two other test relults are known.

How am I doing? I am still reeling, my mind running redline rpm's. I think often I wish I could cry in the arms of my husband. I'm not a wimp, I can do this; I tell myself. My faith is strong as ever. I will wake up tomorrow and take on the day. I will take each day as it comes and I will deal with it, one step at a time.

I regret the emotional pain this is causing in those that love me. I hope those that I love, know the depth of the love I have for them.

There are some that I love that I am unable to tell them for fear of being inappropriate. I hope they know how much they mean to me, and yes, love.

I pray that I will keep my faith and courage strong. In my mind and heart, I am holding both the hand of God in one hand and my dad's hand in the other.
Sue, I don't know what to say...I'm SO sorry to hear this! Stay strong, and know that you are NOT alone...Many people who have survived cancer (my father-in-law lost an arm to cancer in his shoulder joint, and he's never missed a beat, for one). You have my thoughts, prayers, love, respect, and support. Here's to many happy years of great things to come...

If there's anything I can do for you (seriously!), I'm here for you. I know that's easy to say, but I mean it...

So sorry to hear this and my thoughts and best wishes go out to you.

Keep in mind that a lot of people have been down the same road and lots of them have beat it. Go in with the attitude that you're going to win this fight and come out better on the other end.

Be sure to keep this thread updated - everyone will be pulling for you!
Sue, all good thoughts and positive energy to you. I'm sure you have much work still to do here so get this out of the way and get along with it!
I wish you only the best, Sue... Hope that everything will be fine and OK as soon as possible.
Hi Sue,

Oh gosh, this strikes so close to home. My Aunt was diagnosed with cancer in both breasts and earlier this month underwent a double lumpectomy with multiple lymph node removal.

In researching breast cancer it occurs to me that it is becoming so prevalent these days. The numbers just staggering.

But it is also evident that the treatment options are also growing rapidly, and while still devastating, the diagnosis is now widely viewed as just the first part of the recovery.

You are in my thoughts, and I send you all the best.
Really sorry to hear your news. Having had my mother die from cancer at a young age its something I'm very familiar with regarding its effect on both the patient and their family.

On the bright side though I must say though it sounds like despite the crappy luck you have at least been blessed with early detection which really does make all the difference in my experience. My grandmother had breast cancer and survived and the survival rates for breast cancer have risen exponentially over the last 30 years due to better detection, treatment and patient education.

You will be in my thoughts, and I wish you all the best.
Here's hoping for a speedy recovery. I know quite a few women breast cancer survivors. Keep you chin up and don't be afraid to ask questions.
Sue, I'll be praying for you, your family, and your physicians. Your positive attitude has always been an inspiration to me -- I know it'll serve you well in this trial.
Our thoughts are with you. I know a few remarkable women who have gone through the same ordeal. All showed great strength.

I hope your recovery goes quickly.
Sue, I am sorry to hear the bad news. It seems that you caught it early and today there are more effective means to fight cancer than ever before. And, my aunt just went through the same thing last year and is doing great. You need to be strong and know that the memebers here are keeping you in their prayers and hoping for a full and speedy recovery! Larry
You can do this, Sue. My prayers for full recovery are with you and your family. If there is any assistance I can provide, please let me know.
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