So, my brother told my family he's gay...

[Whitmore]

...just last night. Interesting conversation. Downright horrible, in fact.

He's twenty-one, pet of the family, still living with my parents until his in-firm training is finished in December. It's my dad's company, very blue-collar, just like our whole hometown.

I wasn't surprised, frankly I had thought about the possibility for years - it just shocked me that he told my parents while still living here and working at the company every day. He must have known how they would react, and they did: my father didn't say a word, my mother started to cry.

I bought some horrible cigars and a bottle of wine at the gas station and went to his room afterwards, at least celebrating his revelation among brothers. But he fully expects my parents not to recover and is prepared to move out immediately.

So, today the mediation starts. I'll sit down with my parents, I'll try to sweettalk them into not being so damned ignorant, he's their son after all. But it's going to be tough. The concept of having a gay son doesn't really exist in this town.

Weird times.

 

[fidjit]

Guys, I wouldn't be quoting that ungentlemanly reply to Whitmore. .

I don't reckon it'll last long and best completely eradicated from B&B (i.e. not even in quotes of the original post )

I'm not even going to comment on it as I don't believe it needs any.

Where's the new marshall in town when you need him ??? Isn't this his watch..........?

/fidjit lights the Snagle signal !!!!!!

Whitmore, my brother-in-law "came out" quite a few years ago. He was their only son, and the "baby" of the three.

The in-laws had exactly the same sort of reaction. After the initial reaction however the in-laws did whatever was necessary to "reconcile" it in their own heads , even going to the extent of seeing psychiatrists ( for themselves not for him ) .

All is good now. Hopefully your parents can come to terms with it in time and in their own way.

Well done with your support.

 

[mook]

Your brother deserves to be applauded for what hes done. Coming out must be one of the hardest things for someone to do. As for your folks its up to them to deal with it the best way they can im sure their sons happiness is important to them just dont let it become a negative thing would they rather he stayed in and had a miserable life? You dont choose to be gay like you dont choose to be straight all you can do is what you have done already be there for your brother and your folks best of luck champ.
As for the chap who posted the antipink tirade lol grow up

 

[Koss]

I won't try to suggest how to deal with your parents. I mean, you know them best after all.

I just wanted to say that you should be proud with how you are handling the situation, and you are there when your brother needed you most.

 

[The Nid Hog]

...just last night. Interesting conversation. Downright horrible, in fact.

He's twenty-one, pet of the family, still living with my parents until his in-firm training is finished in December. It's my dad's company, very blue-collar, just like our whole hometown.

I wasn't surprised, frankly I had thought about the possibility for years - it just shocked me that he told my parents while still living here and working at the company every day. He must have known how they would react, and they did: my father didn't say a word, my mother started to cry.

I bought some horrible cigars and a bottle of wine at the gas station and went to his room afterwards, at least celebrating his revelation among brothers. But he fully expects my parents not to recover and is prepared to move out immediately.

So, today the mediation starts. I'll sit down with my parents, I'll try to sweettalk them into not being so damned ignorant, he's their son after all. But it's going to be tough. The concept of having a gay son doesn't really exist in this town.

Weird times.

Your're a good man and a good brother, Whitmore. It's easy for families to be kind to one another when nothing is at stake, when there aren't any challenges. You really stepped up. Hopefully your example will help the rest of your family get through this.

 

[masonjarjar]

So, today the mediation starts. I'll sit down with my parents, I'll try to sweettalk them into not being so damned ignorant, he's their son after all. But it's going to be tough. The concept of having a gay son doesn't really exist in this town.

It's good of you to do that for your brother. Hopefully they'll come around in time. It's sad that many parents react this way. Kind of the same thing as when a daughter reports that she's pregnant. At a time when they need loving, understanding, supporting parents the most, parents retreat into their shell of "lost expectations" or whatever they call it. Parents need to support who their child is, not what they want them to be.

Many people think that they're tolerant, but when your child comes out of the closet, that's the true test.

Best of luck to you, and your brother.

 

[Legion]

Well, I guess your bro did what he felt he needed to do. And I guess you have to respect his courage, given the circumstances. I only wonder, if he knew it was going to upset your parents so much, if he couldn't have waited a while. Perhaps until he had been living away from them for a bit. Might have made the news a little easier for them to deal with?

Anyway, well done to you for having your brothers back. I guess you are going to have hard times ahead trying to be the mediator and being caught in the middle. Hope everything works out for the best.

 

[Whitmore]

Thanks for your words, folks, they're much appreciated. I'll pick my brother up at work now, grab coffee and all that and drive over to our parents to talk. I'll give you an update tonight.

Cheers again, Whit

 

[saltypete]

I don't believe that being gay is a choice . Who would choose to be treated the way that gay's are often treated? Good on you for being there for your Bro, he deserves to be happy and your non-judgmental support is to be commended. Likewise for playing the go-between with your parents , who obviously are having a hard time. You have shown extraordinary character and I take my hat off to you
To the 'person' who posted that vile hate filled rant, you show only your ignorance and tiny intellect. I feel sorry for you, because when that much hate exists in any person, there can be no real love for anyone or anything, despite any protests to the contrary.

Pete

 

[Obsessed]

whitmore
i am sure your family will work through this, and you are a good brother.

Hyperborean, you, on the other hand are beneath contempt. Your post soils this forum.

wow, what extremes. The op handled it like a true brother. Sit down over a cigar and a beverage and talk through how to handle the situation. I am sure your family will be able to work through the situation. It may be tough but a family needs to work through issues and as long as you can communicate it will work out.

The very next post is one of the most ignorant rants i have seen in years. Congratulations on setting a new standard.

your brother deserves to be applauded for what hes done. Coming out must be one of the hardest things for someone to do. As for your folks its up to them to deal with it the best way they can im sure their sons happiness is important to them just dont let it become a negative thing would they rather he stayed in and had a miserable life? You dont choose to be gay like you dont choose to be straight all you can do is what you have done already be there for your brother and your folks best of luck champ.
As for the chap who posted the antipink tirade lol grow up

your're a good man and a good brother, whitmore. It's easy for families to be kind to one another when nothing is at stake, when there aren't any challenges. You really stepped up. Hopefully your example will help the rest of your family get through this.

it's good of you to do that for your brother. Hopefully they'll come around in time. It's sad that many parents react this way. Kind of the same thing as when a daughter reports that she's pregnant. At a time when they need loving, understanding, supporting parents the most, parents retreat into their shell of "lost expectations" or whatever they call it. Parents need to support who their child is, not what they want them to be.

Many people think that they're tolerant, but when you're child comes out of the closet, that's the true test.

Best of luck to you, and your brother.

i don't believe that being gay is a choice . Who would choose to be treated the way that gay's are often treated? Good on you for being there for your bro, he deserves to be happy and your non-judgmental support is to be commended. Likewise for playing the go-between with your parents , who obviously are having a hard time. You have shown extraordinary character and i take my hat off to you
to the 'person' who posted that vile hate filled rant, you show only your ignorance and tiny intellect. I feel sorry for you, because when that much hate exists in any person, there can be no real love for anyone or anything, despite any protests to the contrary.

Pete

+1

 

[alexo]

My nephew came out of the closet, causing his parents a crisis but they learned to live with it with some help and consultation.
A few comments:
1. If you shave with an SE, move to DE or even electrical shaver since in crisis, concentration is lacking
2. Stock better cigars and some port wine to handle your parents. Unfortunately, sometimes children need to parent their own parents and you need the best treats for that
3. Make sure you bring obnoxious girlfriends home so your parents will begin to appreciate the advantages of having a gay son
4. Suggest to your mom to ventilate the closets better as your brother nearly suffocated in there - humor may be the best tool for relieving tension
5. You're a great guy, son and brother - good luck!

 

[kzoo1]

++++vibes++++ for you and your family...

 

[Koss]

Hyperborean,

Resort to Ad hominid attacks all you want. This will not change anyones views. We here at B&B act like Gentlemen to each other. We may not agree with everything, or even anything that someone may say day in and day out. But we are still kind and forgiving to each other. There are so many other places to vent your hatred out on the internet, and we choose to keep this forum separate from that.

Just because someone has a different viewpoint, opinion, culture, personality, or look to them does not mean that they must be changed. Every individual on the planet Earth is different from one another, but at the same time very similar in other traits.

My viewpoint is that if someone who is different does not wish to change me, or force me to practice their beliefs... then no harm done. There is only a problem when that person tries to enforce their viewpoints, culture, thoughts, or opinions onto me or those around me.

 

[philamac]

Thanks for your words, folks, they're much appreciated. I'll pick my brother up at work now, grab coffee and all that and drive over to our parents to talk. I'll give you an update tonight.

Cheers again, Whit

I sincerely hope all goes well for you, you and your brother sound like two great blokes. You know the community you live in, there may be gossip and stares, but you may also be pleasantly surprised about the support you recieve and the people it comes from.

 

[fidjit]

Mods to the rescue !!!!!!

We now return you to our normal gentlemanly postings..........

 

[alexo]

I'd never argue with someone who says about himself, and I quote: "a barbarian born in wrong era".

 

[philamac]

Mods to the rescue !!!!!!

We now return you to our normal gentlemanly postings..........

Lets have a Group Hug

 

[jazzman]

3. Make sure you bring obnoxious girlfriends home so your parents will begin to appreciate the advantages of having a gay son

Anyone who insists on pigeon holes should think about that one. I suspect that most of us heteros have had girlfriends or ex-wives who have made us wonder why we were born with our particular sexual orientation.

 

[Jethro1984]

Whitmore, it sounds like you are a great brother. Kudos to helping out as best you can during this difficult situation. Hopefully the parents will come around.

 

[Bertilak]

At my age, one of the things you look forward to is grandkids.

If I had only one child who told me he/she was gay I would be *very* unhappy, not because I have something against gay people (there are some in my family whom I like very much) but because it would shoot down one of my dreams.

Now this doesn't apply to the OP, but I am speaking in general terms just to point out things are not all black and white with this issue.

And to Whitmore: You are being a very good brother and son.