Quarter century depression?

[cybrok]

Hi gents, maybe you could share your wisdom with a younger fellow.

I'm now 25 and feel a little depressed. Maybe the discussion I just had with the ex didn't help. Anyway I feel that when I was 15, the way I tought I would be at 25 was different. I was hoping at least to have a car, not to live with my parents anymore. Not be the broke college student I am (ok, the recession didn't help).

Is the way I feel "normal". Is this the way you feel when you hit 30, 40, or 50 years old?

 

[jadam318]

Ah, the quarter life crises......

I had a touch of the same feelings when I turned 25 a couple years ago. I was still in college (in my 7th year of undergrad!!!) and single (still am ). It goes away pretty quickly. As long as you're on track to get where you want to be, I don't see any reason to be too bummed. Even if you're not on that track, you have plenty of time to get on it. We're both still young. No worries, but yes, I do think a little of that is normal.

Did your friends all give you quarters to remind you? Mine did. Did one of your friends make a cake that was shaped like a quarter? Mine did. None of that helped me at the time, but it's funny now.

Happy Birthday, by the way!

 

[tlanning]

This is just a quick thought but when I was 25 I was a 7 year combat veteran in the USMC, I didn't have to think about much which was good for me. I enlisted directly out of high school. By your post, it sounds as if you have a college degree. Thats a huge plus in the military. I retired after 32 years a Lt Col and I had little sense when it came to my mouth. I'm just saying if your having a problem with the direction your life is taking, you sound as if you may have a firm foundation.
Look into serving your Country and helping yourself at the same time. I'm not certain about military requirements in Canada, but I believe its universal.

 

[cybrok]

I'm still undergrad from the engineering school. Started in Physics, now in Materials and Metallurgy.

A military carreer is not really in my plans. They don't even offer us internships, so I don't think they would have jobs.

 

[SiBurning]

Age doesn't have much to do with it. I like to think of emotions as sense that alert us when things are right and wrong, just like the way we feel pain from excessive heat.

Some people get more philosophical when they get older. Of course, others get less philosophical. Still, it's much easier to start out with false ideas about the world and how we fit into it before actually experiencing it, and just keep plodding through until we find things don't work. If things work out, or we adjust as we go along, then there's no problem.

Obviously, you're feeling you need a change. I've felt that way dozens of times. Jobs, hobbies, relationships, commitments to clubs... Heck, I sometimes feel that way about websites.

Perfectly normal. Nothing wrong with it. It's just your sensor going off telling you to do something else. Unfortunately, it's kind of like the idiot light on your car. The hard thing is to know what it's trying to tell you.

 

[Kouros]

Is the way I feel "normal". Is this the way you feel when you hit 30, 40, or 50 years old?

It may continue to get worse if not treated. Please seek professional help immediately as psychotherapy or medication is proven to change the brain chemistry which causes depression. Reading the Bible can't hurt either.

 

[NightLad]

Hi gents, maybe you could share your wisdom with a younger fellow.

I'm now 25 and feel a little depressed. Maybe the discussion I just had with the ex didn't help. Anyway I feel that when I was 15, the way I thought I would be at 25 was different. I was hoping at least to have a car, not to live with my parents anymore. Not be the broke college student I am (ok, the recession didn't help).

Is the way I feel "normal". Is this the way you feel when you hit 30, 40, or 50 years old?

I have a great family doctor. He is in his late 50s, but really cool. We talk casually about stuff, and one time I mentioned something about noticing myself getting older -- as in the general feeling. His response was, "Just wait until your doctors are younger than you."

Now, I do have friends that are doctors, but they are all my age or a little older.

So about a week ago I had an appointment for something and in walks the full-fledged doctor. I swear, he could barely shave!

What I'm saying is; I feel your pain.

 

[psychlopath]

I felt kind of depressed around 25.

Turned out to be from a wife who was sleeping with several people who werent me.

I'm not sure if the disease is the same, but the symptoms sound like it.

Check your wallet and whatever you tresure most in life to be sure it is still whole and functioning.

 

[SRock]

I think everyone suffers from the occasional bout of depression. However, if it feels like more than you've experienced before or more than you can handle the only real advice (as Kouros metioned) is to seek out a professional. You can talk to counselors, ministers or mental health professionals. Whatever you do I agree you should speak to someone trained to deal with depression.

 

[Bertilak]

A military carreer is not really in my plans. They don't even offer us internships, so I don't think they would have jobs.

At your age I was two years out of engineering school and working for IBM. Joining the military never even crossed my mind. As I look back at it I think that was a mistake. Don't know if I would have made a career out of it (probably not) but I think it would have been a positive experience.

I have been in a position to hire people at IBM and of the people I interviewed those who had military experience were stand-outs.

Also, I don't understand what you mean by the military not having jobs!

 

[kadett]

Also, I don't understand what you mean by the military not having jobs!

He is talking in the context of the Canadian military here, which is vastly different. Where, by and large, the military is considered by many as a dead-end career due to decades of chronic underinvestment and a general disdain for any kind of military type pride. In the 1990s there was a relatively serious debate in Canada in some political and social circles about abolishing Canada's military forces in general. Post 9/11 the relationship has changed somewhat but not very significantly. The fact is the there are more bureaucrats in our Department of Defence than there are serving personnel in the military, which is actually unique amongst NATO countries. Don't get me on the fitness issue of the personnel either

So its a totally different ball game from the US and that is what the poster is referring to. I'd recommend the book 'Who Killed the Canadian Military?' by Jack Granatenstein for anyone who is interested.

 

[professorchaos]

Quarter Century Depression? Maybe. I can't say for sure, details are hazy. I was still drinking quite a bit. What I can say is that bouts of being depressed are perfectly natural. Sometimes you feel on top of the world, others you feel buried by it.

 

[Bertilak]

He is talking in the context of the Canadian military here, which is vastly different. Where, by and large, the military is considered by many as a dead-end career due to decades of chronic underinvestment and a general disdain for any kind of military type pride....

Well that's too bad. The Canadian military was at one time a proud and well-respected organization.

 

[lamaman3]

You are not alone. I am 26 now and had similar thoughts at 25. Whose life hasnt turned out a bit differently than what they imagined? I was also living with my parents and under-employed - I knew I needed a change and applied to a number of graduate programs in subject matter that greatly interested me. I am now enrolled in one of those programs and had enough savings from not paying rent for a few years to be able to pay tuition without going into significant debt. I am learning an interesting subject and hope that the program will be a springboard for me to have a career - I am even taking advantage of their study abroad semester and am moving halfway around the world next month.

These feelings happen when you fall into sort of a funk and forget your goals and where youre going - you mistakenly think your present situation is going to last forever. You could try for a drastic change of scenery - look into studying at a different country, transferring to another university in a different city, planning a vacation with friends, taking a weekend trip, living in an apartment or dorms instead of your parents (although trust me youll appreciate your moms cooking a whole lot more when you dont take it for granted ) etc.

It sounds like you're a studious and responsible fellow - that will take you far even if it dosent feel like that right this moment. The key is to not lose sight of your goals and have patience that what you are doing now will help you achieve them in the future.

 

[Emmett]

25 is about the point where you realize your 15 year-old self really had no clue who you were going to be as an adult. It's also around the time when you first start wondering "How did I get to be [however old you are]? I don't remember that happening." Seeing a therapist might be really helpful, and I'd recommend giving it a try.

 

[cybrok]

Also, I don't understand what you mean by the military not having jobs!

Maybe a bad past midnight translation from me



A friend of mine is an engineer, a mechanical engineer and works for the Canadian Army.

But in Materials/Metallurgy, I will more likely work in a concentrator, a smelter, a foundry, a steel/aluminum shop.



And I'm not that depressed, more like I have the blues.

 

[castlecraver]

It's incredibly normal. I know from experience and discussions that nearly everyone, from washed-out stoners to dot-com millionaire wunderkinds go through this as they emerge from college-agedness.

I wish I had great advice for you. I don't -- because I'm going through the same crap myself. I turn 28 in a few weeks, bring the three-oh close enough that I can smell it. All I can say is that there's only one direction worth going in life -- forward. You can't change the past, and the future holds more opportunities the sooner you accept the present. And it's a brutal truth -- you're not getting any younger. Today is the best chance you'll ever have to make your life what you want of it. Don't put it off or let your insecurities get in your way.

Easier said than done, I'll admit. But you're on B&B, so I'll go ahead and assume you're awesomer than the average... um... badger.

 

[kwk285]

I am 44, marrried for 21 years and have two teenage daugheters.

In every stage of my life there have been new trials and tribulations to deal with. This is just life. I don't feel there is any time in your life where everything is going smoothly and according to plan.

You just need to learn how to deal with the changes in your life or you may never be happy.

 

[ouch]

Boy, are you going to feel silly in a few short years when you start referring to being 25 as the good old days.

What you're currently experiencing isn't surprising. After all, we've always been told that if we try hard, say our prayers, take our vitamins, do our pushups, then everything will be just peachy keen. Where the hell is my flying car? In the words of my dear, departed dad- walk it off.

 

[Emmett]

And I'm not that depressed, more like I have the blues.

Could it be the winter blues that caused you to start being dissatisfied with other parts of your life?