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Post-doctoral lathering techniques

ouch

Stjynnkii membörd dummpsjterd
In his compendious treatise on lathering, our esteemed Mr. Scotto failed to account for the Coriolis effect.

Gaspard-Gustave Coriolis was a relatively unknown physicist, but he was no slouch- he introduced the terms kinetic energy and work. He is best known for explaining the force named after him, which affects bodies in rotation. It is the force responsible for falling objects landing slightly east of their expected target, and must be accounted for in the trajectories of artillery and airline flights. The Coriolis effect causes storms, tornados, and hurricanes to rotate counterclockwise in the northern hemisphere and clockwise in the southern hemisphere. It is also (theoretically) responsible for the direction of spin of water going down a drain, although in practice it hasn't enough effect at this level to make a difference. (This hasn't stopped hucksters and charlatans from trying to make a quick buck, and has even been featured on The Simpsons, where Bart flushes a toilet in Australia.)

So what the hell does this have to do with shaving? Simple- I'm left handed, and finally catch a break. Southpaws swish their brushes counterclockwise, which is slightly aided by the force of Coriolis in the northern hemisphere, where I happily reside. All of you clockwise churning righties have to battle this force. So, when your lather is less than satisfactory, don't blame it on your brush. You're just living in the wrong hemisphere. All you have to do is move south of the equator and become kiwi farmers, and you'll have all the lucious lather you'd ever want. Hmmm. Kiwi shave cream.

Any truly dedicated shaving fan wouldn't hesitate to move lock, stock, and barrel to a locale that was more conducive to a good shave.:tongue_sm Get packin'.
 
ouch said:
In his compendious treatise on lathering, our esteemed Mr. Scotto failed to account for the Coriolis effect.

Gaspard-Gustave Coriolis was a relatively unknown physicist, but he was no slouch- he introduced the terms kinetic energy and work. He is best known for explaining the force named after him, which affects bodies in rotation. It is the force responsible for falling objects landing slightly east of their expected target, and must be accounted for in the trajectories of artillery and airline flights. The Coriolis effect causes storms, tornados, and hurricanes to rotate counterclockwise in the northern hemisphere and clockwise in the southern hemisphere. It is also (theoretically) responsible for the direction of spin of water going down a drain, although in practice it hasn't enough effect at this level to make a difference. (This hasn't stopped hucksters and charlatans from trying to make a quick buck, and has even been featured on The Simpsons, where Bart flushes a toilet in Australia.)

So what the hell does this have to do with shaving? Simple- I'm left handed, and finally catch a break. Southpaws swish their brushes counterclockwise, which is slightly aided by the force of Coriolis in the northern hemisphere, where I happily reside. All of you clockwise churning righties have to battle this force. So, when your lather is less than satisfactory, don't blame it on your brush. You're just living in the wrong hemisphere. All you have to do is move south of the equator and become kiwi farmers, and you'll have all the lucious lather you'd ever want. Hmmm. Kiwi shave cream.

Any truly dedicated shaving fan wouldn't hesitate to move lock, stock, and barrel to a locale that was more conducive to a good shave.:tongue_sm Get packin'.


I had a turkey sandwich for lunch. :out: :tongue:
 
Thanks for the explanation. That goes a long way to explain the strange correlation I have noticed between the speed with which I whip up my lather and the occurence of tornado's here in Oklahoma.
 
ouch said:
In his compendious treatise on lathering, our esteemed Mr. Scotto failed to account for the Coriolis effect.

Gaspard-Gustave Coriolis was a relatively unknown physicist, but he was no slouch- he introduced the terms kinetic energy and work. He is best known for explaining the force named after him, which affects bodies in rotation. It is the force responsible for falling objects landing slightly east of their expected target, and must be accounted for in the trajectories of artillery and airline flights. The Coriolis effect causes storms, tornados, and hurricanes to rotate counterclockwise in the northern hemisphere and clockwise in the southern hemisphere. It is also (theoretically) responsible for the direction of spin of water going down a drain, although in practice it hasn't enough effect at this level to make a difference. (This hasn't stopped hucksters and charlatans from trying to make a quick buck, and has even been featured on The Simpsons, where Bart flushes a toilet in Australia.)

So what the hell does this have to do with shaving? Simple- I'm left handed, and finally catch a break. Southpaws swish their brushes counterclockwise, which is slightly aided by the force of Coriolis in the northern hemisphere, where I happily reside. All of you clockwise churning righties have to battle this force. So, when your lather is less than satisfactory, don't blame it on your brush. You're just living in the wrong hemisphere. All you have to do is move south of the equator and become kiwi farmers, and you'll have all the lucious lather you'd ever want. Hmmm. Kiwi shave cream.

Any truly dedicated shaving fan wouldn't hesitate to move lock, stock, and barrel to a locale that was more conducive to a good shave.:tongue_sm Get packin'.

But I "swish" both ways!

Randy
 
For those "not in the know"...


Definition:

1. ineffective: unable or unwilling to do anything useful


2. unlikely to be successful: lacking the thought or organization necessary to succeed feckless attempts at starting a business


[Late 16th century. < obsolete feck "value, efficacy," shortening of effect]

Randy
 
Jay, thanks for clearing that up. One thing, though - it is "Dr. Scotto", not Mr. Scotto. I gotta get use out of that 5 years of doctoral work at a fine Ivy League institution. :wink:

BTW, I had a friend who just returned from the southern hemisphere. One of his proudest achievements was a video of the toilet flushing, showing that it does not swirl the opposite way....
 
Scotto said:
Jay, thanks for clearing that up. One thing, though - it is "Dr. Scotto", not Mr. Scotto. I gotta get use out of that 5 years of doctoral work at a fine Ivy League institution. :wink:

BTW, I had a friend who just returned from the southern hemisphere. One of his proudest achievements was a video of the toilet flushing, showing that it does not swirl the opposite way....
That would have posed quite a quandry if true. Can you imagine being enthroned on one of Mr. Crapper's fine facilites at the equator?:lol:
 
Scotto said:
Jay, thanks for clearing that up. One thing, though - it is "Dr. Scotto", not Mr. Scotto. I gotta get use out of that 5 years of doctoral work at a fine Ivy League institution. :wink:

BTW, I had a friend who just returned from the southern hemisphere. One of his proudest achievements was a video of the toilet flushing, showing that it does not swirl the opposite way....

You guys are living on the edge. As Bill Murray said in "Stripes", "Scotto, I want to party with you!"

Randy
 

ouch

Stjynnkii membörd dummpsjterd
Scotto said:
BTW, I had a friend who just returned from the southern hemisphere. One of his proudest achievements was a video of the toilet flushing, showing that it does not swirl the opposite way....

Of course, it doesn't swirl in the opposite direction. If a drain has any slight imperfection that would favor the water draining in one direction over the other, that would certainly dominate over the Coriolis effect.

Still, the Coriolis effect is very real, and theoretically would give water a predisposition to spin in a particular direction. There is no doubt that storms behave in this manner. In the northern hemisphere, air rushing north to fill a low pressure zone is deflected to the east by the force of Coriolis, and air rushing south to fill the same void is deflected westward, causing a storm that rotates counterclockwise. The opposite holds true in the southern hemisphere.

My original post was made, of course, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, but the underlying science is still correct. As silly as my contention was, the Coriolis effect played a significant role in the history of science and our view of the world. In 1851 Leon Foucault, in his famous Coriolis-shifted pendulum experiment, became the first person to prove that the Earth rotated, ending centuries of religious dogma to the contrary. Small consolation to folks like Giordano Bruno, who was burned at the stake for suggesting the same thing. Equally sad was the stifling of inquiry by such minds as Kepler, Copernicus, and Galileo, who decided it would be better to keep their yap shut.
 
No one is doubting the fundamental forces of nature, here, rest assured.... :wink:

Now is that "upland" coriolis or simply "high mountain"? :lol: :lol:
 

Luc

"To Wiki or Not To Wiki, That's The Question".
I can confirm that toilets are going counter clockwise in Oz... :lol:
 
I am going to attribute my overdeveloped right forearm to the fact that I am working against this force, contrary to what other people might think is the cause.
 

OldSaw

The wife's investment
Saw a whole flock of turkeys today. Just missed running one over with my Jeep. I think it had something to do with the Coriolis effect... good thing for the turkey.
 
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