Is the two month salary thing still the general rule for how much to spend on an engagement ring?
Engagement ring
- Thread starter Kyle Hyde
- Start date
congratulations? 
I have heard the 2 month salary rule before and its just so contrived - clearly the product of some marketing campaign. I could never justify spending that on a piece of jewellery, and certainly not for some fake expectation. she should be happy with anything you get!
If you want to conform and get a "rhodium plated diamond ring" it is going to cost you a fortune to get something that people consider half decent.
You could go down a different path. There are a lot of really nice gemstones (gorgeous colours) that are relatively cheap - like $100 versus $2000 for the equivalent sized diamond. You could get your choice of stone made into your choice of ring by a manufacturing jeweller, and have something that is unique and special for both of you. That can be done for the same price as a fairly low budget off-the-shelf diamond ring.
That's what we did, although at the last minute we were given a diamond by a grandmother who wanted us to have it for sentimental reasons, otherwise we would have bought a topaz or something. Obviously there was no surprise engagement, but of course i still 'popped the question'. We thought it was a good way of doing it.
(btw the ring scam is just a prelude to the wedding scam! can i suggest you bookmark indiebride.org
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I have heard the 2 month salary rule before and its just so contrived - clearly the product of some marketing campaign. I could never justify spending that on a piece of jewellery, and certainly not for some fake expectation. she should be happy with anything you get!
If you want to conform and get a "rhodium plated diamond ring" it is going to cost you a fortune to get something that people consider half decent.
You could go down a different path. There are a lot of really nice gemstones (gorgeous colours) that are relatively cheap - like $100 versus $2000 for the equivalent sized diamond. You could get your choice of stone made into your choice of ring by a manufacturing jeweller, and have something that is unique and special for both of you. That can be done for the same price as a fairly low budget off-the-shelf diamond ring.
That's what we did, although at the last minute we were given a diamond by a grandmother who wanted us to have it for sentimental reasons, otherwise we would have bought a topaz or something. Obviously there was no surprise engagement, but of course i still 'popped the question'. We thought it was a good way of doing it.
(btw the ring scam is just a prelude to the wedding scam! can i suggest you bookmark indiebride.org
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If you want to conform and get a "rhodium plated diamond ring" it is going to cost you a fortune to get something that people consider half decent.
Any white gold ring is going to be rhodium plated. Same with platinum, unless they're wielding a laser welder. Rhodium IS expensive, but plating isn't. Most shops will rhodium plate your ring for anywhere from 15 to 30 dollars. It's no biggie.
With the ring, first you have to have a budget. No, you don't have to drop 2 months on a ring. That is just stupid, and if your soon-to-be wife is concerned about how much her ring costs, that should tell you something right there.
So you have your budged. $ ____________. The next thing you need to determine is the quality of the stone. I'll just tell you where I was at when I bought my wife's ring. I didn't have a heap of money, but I did get a store CC to buy it. No smart, but I didn't go crazy, so all was well. I budgeted about 1k for the ring. I could have gotten 1/2 to 3/4 ct that looked like God seasoned the stone with cracked pepper and curry. Rather than that, I chose to get my wife a 1/3 ct, F (colorless), VS2 (very slight inclusions where you need a magnifying glass to see them,) in a platinum solitaire. 1200 out the door. It's not huge, but it's beautiful.
So long story short, set a reasonable budget, and get the best quality ring you can. Good luck, and congratulations!
Any white gold ring is going to be rhodium plated. Same with platinum, unless they're wielding a laser welder. Rhodium IS expensive, but plating isn't. Most shops will rhodium plate your ring for anywhere from 15 to 30 dollars. It's no biggie.
With the ring, first you have to have a budget. No, you don't have to drop 2 months on a ring. That is just stupid, and if your soon-to-be wife is concerned about how much her ring costs, that should tell you something right there.
So you have your budged. $ ____________. The next thing you need to determine is the quality of the stone. I'll just tell you where I was at when I bought my wife's ring. I didn't have a heap of money, but I did get a store CC to buy it. No smart, but I didn't go crazy, so all was well. I budgeted about 1k for the ring. I could have gotten 1/2 to 3/4 ct that looked like God seasoned the stone with cracked pepper and curry. Rather than that, I chose to get my wife a 1/3 ct, F (colorless), VS2 (very slight inclusions where you need a magnifying glass to see them,) in a platinum solitaire. 1200 out the door. It's not huge, but it's beautiful.
So long story short, set a reasonable budget, and get the best quality ring you can. Good luck, and congratulations!
i dont know about that, all i know is ours is an alloy of gold with white gold (platinum) added in - the result is a kind of pewter or bright silver colour. no rhodium (which looks more like chrome).
I've never heard of platinum as being an alloy for white gold. I've heard of both nickel or palladium, palladium being better due to some people having nickel allergies. The reasons you'll see white gold being rhodiumed is due to the slight yellow tent that can show through (after all, you're looking at a metal that is, if it's 14k, 14 parts yellow, 10 parts white,) and if you use yellow gold solder to tip a prong or size with ring, you'll need to plate it with rhodium to cover up the yellow.
Edit: They'll rhodium platinum rings because many times, unless they have a laser welder, they'll use yellow gold solder on prongs and sizing. Rhodium covers up this.
Edit 2: I see you're from Australia. This has inspired me to go to our local Aussie bakery to pick up some pies and ANZAC biscuits.
Edit: They'll rhodium platinum rings because many times, unless they have a laser welder, they'll use yellow gold solder on prongs and sizing. Rhodium covers up this.
Edit 2: I see you're from Australia. This has inspired me to go to our local Aussie bakery to pick up some pies and ANZAC biscuits.
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sorry i checked and yeah its gold with palladium (nickel allergy!)
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A result of arguably the most successful marketing campaign in history, and a masterclass in cartels and price-fixing.
Here's a bit of light reading: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/198202/diamond
That said, I lost this argument with the missus, and she got a diamond...
She's happy with it.IIRC, the "2 month" rule is now 3 months in western countries, and was originally one month. It also apparently varies by country, depending on how much they determine that the population can spend.
I just went through this not too long ago. What I did (which by no means makes it the correct thing), was to first go out and find a few rings that I felt were a good match for her.
I took certain things into account: non-white metal (just wouldn't go with her skin tone), low-profile, ability to combine with wedding ring, and general style (hers, not mine). I found two that fit the bill. Luckily, they were both well within my price range. However, had they been out of my price range, there are things you can do to bring it down a little (smaller stone, lower clarity, non-diamond, etc.).
I suspect that going out looking for non-price related criteria helped me in the long run. I've heard many stories of people walking into a jewelers and being sold at, or above, their stated price range. True? I don't know. I've had pretty good luck with all the jewelers I've dealt with.
At the end of the day it was the ring, and the story of how I found it, that she remembers and talks about.
I took certain things into account: non-white metal (just wouldn't go with her skin tone), low-profile, ability to combine with wedding ring, and general style (hers, not mine). I found two that fit the bill. Luckily, they were both well within my price range. However, had they been out of my price range, there are things you can do to bring it down a little (smaller stone, lower clarity, non-diamond, etc.).
I suspect that going out looking for non-price related criteria helped me in the long run. I've heard many stories of people walking into a jewelers and being sold at, or above, their stated price range. True? I don't know. I've had pretty good luck with all the jewelers I've dealt with.
At the end of the day it was the ring, and the story of how I found it, that she remembers and talks about.
The whole diamond ring thing is a 20th century phenomenon - prior to the early 1900s, coloured stones or a mix of coloured stones and diamonds were the norm.
Thanks to a very successful marketing campaign by DeBeers (which included celebrity endorsements, giving celebs large rings for their engagements), Diamonds have become the must have stone for engagement rings.
In terms of price, spend only what you can afford - if that doesn't buy a ring your betrothed to be is happy with, then you probably should rethink the whole thing (I'm not joking - its a harbinger of things to come). If you can only afford a small ring now, so be it - you can always upgrade later.
I'm not sure how much shopping you've done, but you need to make a fairly basic decision if you're on a budget - size vs. quality. That being said, you typically buy the stone and then pick the setting. If you're using a white setting, then you have a bit more leeway on the colour (yellow settings are more prone to accentuate any colour in the stone). Also, imperfection grades speak to the visibility of the imperfection, but the impact of a particular imperfection on the ring varies greatly depending where it is located (i.e., in the center of the stone vs. part of the ring that will be hidden by a prong).
I would never buy a ring of any significant value without first seeing the stone on its own and examining it through a loupe.
Also, where you buy the ring/stone has a huge impact on price - I know folks who have paid a massive premium to have a ring from Tiffany or Cartier - despite the fact that it looks no different from any other ring.
Finally, in terms of setting, you are not limited by what the store has to offer - any decent jeweller will have a catalogs of designs/components so you can pick what you want. That's the route I took and my wife likes the fact that her ring is unique and that I took the time to design it myself.
Hope this isn't too much info, just thought I'd share what I know based on my experiences.
Thanks to a very successful marketing campaign by DeBeers (which included celebrity endorsements, giving celebs large rings for their engagements), Diamonds have become the must have stone for engagement rings.
In terms of price, spend only what you can afford - if that doesn't buy a ring your betrothed to be is happy with, then you probably should rethink the whole thing (I'm not joking - its a harbinger of things to come). If you can only afford a small ring now, so be it - you can always upgrade later.
I'm not sure how much shopping you've done, but you need to make a fairly basic decision if you're on a budget - size vs. quality. That being said, you typically buy the stone and then pick the setting. If you're using a white setting, then you have a bit more leeway on the colour (yellow settings are more prone to accentuate any colour in the stone). Also, imperfection grades speak to the visibility of the imperfection, but the impact of a particular imperfection on the ring varies greatly depending where it is located (i.e., in the center of the stone vs. part of the ring that will be hidden by a prong).
I would never buy a ring of any significant value without first seeing the stone on its own and examining it through a loupe.
Also, where you buy the ring/stone has a huge impact on price - I know folks who have paid a massive premium to have a ring from Tiffany or Cartier - despite the fact that it looks no different from any other ring.
Finally, in terms of setting, you are not limited by what the store has to offer - any decent jeweller will have a catalogs of designs/components so you can pick what you want. That's the route I took and my wife likes the fact that her ring is unique and that I took the time to design it myself.
Hope this isn't too much info, just thought I'd share what I know based on my experiences.
OH, I forgot. Be sure to buy a loose diamond. You know what you're getting; they can't hide things under prongs.
I think what is coming out here, in a round about way, is that the process really is interactive. Don't be afraid to tell them what you are looking for; whether it be the metal, setting, design, or stone. Many shops have on-site jewelers and smiths. These people can work with you to help create the perfect ring.
It also has a lot to do with your prospective fiancee. Don't let the advertising blitz distract you from what your s/o is actually like and what she might prefer. Is she the traditional sort who insists on a real diamond (as has already been mentioned, the whole diamonds-as-engagement "tradition" is a very modern invention anyway) or is she the sort who would prefer that potential money spent go towards the honeymoon or wedding/reception? (Or your life together, for that matter...) We usually start dropping hints about what we'd prefer if we think a proposal is on the way, but if she hasn't said anything, you can usually get clues about her likes/dislikes from what she says about engagement rings her friends have received.
Also, is it likely she'll be wearing the engagement ring along with her wedding band? If she's going to put it away after the wedding, my opinion is that there's not much point in getting something hugely expensive and flashy that's going to be worn for a year (or however long the engagement is) and then spend the rest of its life in a jewelry box. Some women have their engagement ring welded to their wedding band and wear both so something hard-wearing and decorative might be more appropriate there.
I agree that if she insists on something that's out of your price range, that is not a good sign for things to come. After all, it's all about what the ring represents, not about the ring itself.
Also, is it likely she'll be wearing the engagement ring along with her wedding band? If she's going to put it away after the wedding, my opinion is that there's not much point in getting something hugely expensive and flashy that's going to be worn for a year (or however long the engagement is) and then spend the rest of its life in a jewelry box. Some women have their engagement ring welded to their wedding band and wear both so something hard-wearing and decorative might be more appropriate there.
I agree that if she insists on something that's out of your price range, that is not a good sign for things to come. After all, it's all about what the ring represents, not about the ring itself.
I bought an engagement ring in July. My father was the son of a pawnbroker and a jeweler himself in his younger years, and he gave me some great advice throughout the process. That being said, I found a very nice ring at Jared's that I had insured under their plan, but I found the solitaire at a different jeweler - who was certified by the GIA and who had amazing diamonds at a fraction of Jared's prices. Afterwards, I had the gemologist put in the diamond and I brought the finished product to Jared's to have it cleaned via the warranty (unlimited cleanings). The final result is that my fiancee has a gorgeous ring appraised well above the amount I spent (even above the general amount they inflate the value) that can be cleaned at any time and is thoroughly checked twice a year.
Hope this helps. Good luck in your search (& stick to a budget!),
Regards,
Chase
Edit: To more accurately answer your original question, pay what you can reasonably afford, yet also factor in such things as whether she will wear the ring beyond the engagement, etc. The two months salary rule is more of a guideline. Nonetheless, if you are not careful, people working at most jewelry stores are great about making you feel as if you are not spending enough. I am a law student and I had a worker my age tell me that I should spend (at minimum) 4K above my budgeted amount. The ironic part was that I doubt he would ever spend such a large amount on a ring. Good luck, and don't fall for all the tricks.
Hope this helps. Good luck in your search (& stick to a budget!),
Regards,
Chase
Edit: To more accurately answer your original question, pay what you can reasonably afford, yet also factor in such things as whether she will wear the ring beyond the engagement, etc. The two months salary rule is more of a guideline. Nonetheless, if you are not careful, people working at most jewelry stores are great about making you feel as if you are not spending enough. I am a law student and I had a worker my age tell me that I should spend (at minimum) 4K above my budgeted amount. The ironic part was that I doubt he would ever spend such a large amount on a ring. Good luck, and don't fall for all the tricks.
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i paid $50 for my wife's engagement ring and she found a wedding band she liked for $6 
the engagement ring has no stones and is sterling sliver. around one half it says "i am my beloved's" and around the other half it says "my beloved is mine".
the engagement ring has no stones and is sterling sliver. around one half it says "i am my beloved's" and around the other half it says "my beloved is mine".
Commander Quan
Commander Yellow Pantyhose
The 2 month thing is what the jewelers want you to spend, but in reality you should spend what you want. I would stay out of the malls and go to an independent jeweler, you'll get much better service when your shopping and also after the sale with cleanings, maintenance, etc. Do a little reading and learn about the 4C's this is what determines the price for a stone. Also you cane save quite a bit of money by going with a slightly smaller stone. if you were looking at 1ct. you can save a couple hundred easy by going with .93 or 95 and that could possibly pay for the setting. Jewelers use the Rapaport Diamond Report to price diamonds so you can use this to give you a starting point
http://srdiamond.com.tw/jewelry/report_update/round.pdf
http://srdiamond.com.tw/jewelry/report_update/round.pdf
Don't spend more than you can afford. The last thing you need is to start a marriage being seriously in debt because of an engagement ring. If any woman uses the size or type of ring to decide whether or not she'll say yes, perhaps she's not the person you want to be spending the rest of your life with.
Having said that, I noticed that you live in Los Angeles. You have the advantage of shopping in the jewelry district and saving yourself a fortune.
I would never buy from a jewelry store if I could help it. Even their "sale" prices are much higher that what you should be paying.
Also, another poster mentioned buying a loose stone, then a setting. I agree 100%.
When I bought my wife's ring, I had it appraised for insurance and it appraised for 3 times what I paid for it, and I bought it in the downtown L.A. jewelry district. I doubt that would ever happen buying from a mall jewelry store.
If you want, send me a PM and I'll send you the name of a place that I've used. It can be overwhelming down there, so it's nice to have a place to start.
Whatever happens, just don't feel pressured to spend more than you can afford.
Also, one last tip.
If 2 stone are the same price, and one is larger, but lower quality, it might be better to go with the smaller, higher quality stone. Bigger isn't always better with diamonds.
Having said that, I noticed that you live in Los Angeles. You have the advantage of shopping in the jewelry district and saving yourself a fortune.
I would never buy from a jewelry store if I could help it. Even their "sale" prices are much higher that what you should be paying.
Also, another poster mentioned buying a loose stone, then a setting. I agree 100%.
When I bought my wife's ring, I had it appraised for insurance and it appraised for 3 times what I paid for it, and I bought it in the downtown L.A. jewelry district. I doubt that would ever happen buying from a mall jewelry store.
If you want, send me a PM and I'll send you the name of a place that I've used. It can be overwhelming down there, so it's nice to have a place to start.
Whatever happens, just don't feel pressured to spend more than you can afford.
Also, one last tip.
If 2 stone are the same price, and one is larger, but lower quality, it might be better to go with the smaller, higher quality stone. Bigger isn't always better with diamonds.
The wife and I went to Shane Co. I think they have several stores around the country. I had already set a price limit and they were great. They sell all the stones separate from the bands so you can look at them and pick out one for your price point and encourage you to look at it through a loupe. Every time you come in to have it cleaned (for free) they make you look at it again to verify that it's your diamond.
But anyway, I went with my wife and she picked out several settings that she liked. I made a mental note of which ones and went back later to pick out the one I liked the best. This guaranteed that she got one she liked, but it was still a surprise.
I might get some heat for this, but honestly, not only do you want to get a ring that she is going to be happy with, but you want to get something nice that she will get a lot of compliments on. This makes her feel spectacular. We've been married for almost two years and I gave her the ring over 3 years ago and when we go out I'm sure we look like every other married couple out there, but my wife will still get compliments on her ring from other women, especially girls in their early twenties who are thinking about getting engaged. This makes her feel special and every time she gets a compliment she'll come home and tell me how much she loves her ring all over again.
I didn't spend two months salary, but I spent over a month's worth if it's any consideration. EDIT: Just for clarification, this was for a set of both the engagement ring and the wedding band.
But anyway, I went with my wife and she picked out several settings that she liked. I made a mental note of which ones and went back later to pick out the one I liked the best. This guaranteed that she got one she liked, but it was still a surprise.
I might get some heat for this, but honestly, not only do you want to get a ring that she is going to be happy with, but you want to get something nice that she will get a lot of compliments on. This makes her feel spectacular. We've been married for almost two years and I gave her the ring over 3 years ago and when we go out I'm sure we look like every other married couple out there, but my wife will still get compliments on her ring from other women, especially girls in their early twenties who are thinking about getting engaged. This makes her feel special and every time she gets a compliment she'll come home and tell me how much she loves her ring all over again.
I didn't spend two months salary, but I spent over a month's worth if it's any consideration. EDIT: Just for clarification, this was for a set of both the engagement ring and the wedding band.
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Don't start your marriage out with a big debt load, buy what you can comfortably afford. BTW, congratulations!!
Sue
Sue
Just pick on that you think she'll like. After 12 years of marriage, my wife still doesn't want a bigger ring. I spent what I could afford to get the ring I knew she liked.
Take her (your fiance) out and see what she likes.
Take her (your fiance) out and see what she likes.
No matter what ring you get, make sure the engagement counts. I totally botched my engagement in the worst way.
We had already decided to get married and we were using a ring passed down to us which I had cleaned and polished. So I didn't think of the engagement as that big of a deal. To make a long story short, I pulled it out in a video store. I had some kind of screwy reason for this at the time...
This really didn't go over well at all. No problem with the yes, we got married and have a wonderful marriage. But every single time there's a proposal in a movie or a tv show or we hear about one from someone... I get the look and some kind of reminder of how badly I botched that up. It's usually kind of a joke but to be honest, I really wish I could redo that.
So my advice... don't worry so much about the ring but make the engagement count. Make it sincere and memorable and wonderful. Get what you can. If she loves you, she'll love whatever you give her. It doesn't even have to be a ring.. it could be artwork... my wife's grandfather gave her grandmother a painting... (turned out later that the artist became Canada's most famous ever...
We had already decided to get married and we were using a ring passed down to us which I had cleaned and polished. So I didn't think of the engagement as that big of a deal. To make a long story short, I pulled it out in a video store. I had some kind of screwy reason for this at the time...
This really didn't go over well at all. No problem with the yes, we got married and have a wonderful marriage. But every single time there's a proposal in a movie or a tv show or we hear about one from someone... I get the look and some kind of reminder of how badly I botched that up. It's usually kind of a joke but to be honest, I really wish I could redo that.
So my advice... don't worry so much about the ring but make the engagement count. Make it sincere and memorable and wonderful. Get what you can. If she loves you, she'll love whatever you give her. It doesn't even have to be a ring.. it could be artwork... my wife's grandfather gave her grandmother a painting... (turned out later that the artist became Canada's most famous ever
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