the wife and I will be attending a "black tie optional" fundraiser in a couple of months and wanted some input from those of you that have experience with these types of events. since I don't own a tux I will obviously be wearing a suit, however, i'm not certain which color suit is the most appropriate. navy? charcoal? black? I don't want to seem overdressed so I won't be wearing any loud ties, although, I don't know what's considered loud for ties these days or what might be considered overdressed. do I go with a solid tie? striped? paisley? got any advice?
black tie optional
- Thread starter gaseousclay
- Start date
If it were me, I would wear a black suit (if you already own one), with a white shirt and solid color tie. A subtle pattern to your tie would also be OK, but nothing too busy. A nice gold tone tie would work well.
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Personaly I'd go with a navy suit with a white shirt or charcoal with a non-white shirt. You don't want to look like your trying to fake the black tie look.
Shake em up a bit.. Prince Charles jacket with a Kilt..
That works too.
Need to get a kilt soon.
Need to get a kilt soon.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a black suit, so long as you don't look like a Blues Brother. No black tie with a black suit. Especially if that tie is a bow tie.
For an upcoming formal night on a cruise we're about to embark on, I'll be wearing a black suit, pewter tie and white pocket square. Hopefully I'll look awesome.
Black suit, white shirt, solid red silk tie. Classic.
I agree with the black suit, white shirt, solid colored tie advice. In fact, that was what I wore at my wedding at a swanky art gallery and I felt like it was perfect. I haven't worn a tux since senior prom and won't be disappointed if I never wear one again.
Check out the local thrift stores. They probably have lots of practically brand new tuxs for $50 or less. That is how I got my tux!
Dave
Dave
+1
...and a well polished pair of cap toe (preferably) or wing tip shoes with black socks.
I'd go with charcoal or navy suit, but black will suffice if that is all you have. The white shirt advice is good. I'd go with a plan silver/gray tie, hopefully with a bit of texture or a small and subtle repeating pattern. Add black shoes, black belt, white linen pocket sqauare ... 
Not wingtips if you want to be absolutely traditional. My recollection is that the rule used to be no wingtips after dark. Regardless of the black tie optional part you are going out for the evening, not dressing for the office.
Cap toes perfectly fine, though.
I think you can dress sort of like a tux without anyone thinking you think you are wearing the same thing as tux.
I do like the thrift store tux idea though. I it kind of fun owning a tux, and I bet there are lots of them around.
From www.blacktieguide.com (a fantastic site btw)
Black Tie Optional
Black Tie Optional (or Black Tie Invited) allows hosts to suggest that men wear tuxedos but not to insist on it. This code is often employed in the context of large gatherings of civic or business groups, such as a dinner sponsored by a chamber of commerce.
The reality, though, is that this dress code is basically the formal equivalent of “business casual”: an attempt to please everyone that ultimately benefits no-one. As Canadian fashion columnist Russell Smith explains in Men’s Style, Black Tie Optional is frequently a cop-out used by insecure hosts:
It means that the planners of the party began by envisioning a glittering formal affair, with neatly groomed men in stark black and white as sober backdrops for the dramatic colour and flashes of flesh of the women. And so they wrote “Black Tie” on the invitations - and then immediately had doubts . . . What if this seems too snobby? What if we are excluding those without resources to own a dinner jacket? What if we are insulting the men with beards and Jethro Tull albums who don’t believe in such elitist dress and who may refuse on principle to come to such a stuffy affair?
Consequently, these hesitant hosts deprive men of the reassurance and clarity they seek from a precise dress code, forcing them instead to partake in a no-win guessing game. If the large majority of men decide to wear dinner jackets then the minority who dress in suits may appear inconsiderate and classless. Conversely, if the majority shows up in suits then the minority will likely feel put out.
Smith advises party planners that such anxieties are illogical. Firstly, no guest in this day and age will honestly expect to be barred from a Black Tie party if he can only afford a dark suit. Secondly, the “optional” aspect will be gleefully seized upon by the Jethro Tull brigade (described by Smith “any rock music critics or Canadian novelists who happen to be invited”
as permission to show up in their comfy sweaters thus guaranteeing a motley party instead of the swank affair envisioned by the host. As for the sensitive men who feel that owning a dinner jacket would be vaguely decadent? “Well, if they are opposed to decadent glamour," says Smith, "then they shouldn’t want to attend the party at all.”
Guests faced with the frustrating dilemma posed by hosts too tepid to decide between Black Tie and Business Attire should contact the organizers to find out how men have dressed for the event in the past. If this information is not applicable or available then experts offer a number of choices that are perfectly kosher:
· if a man enjoys any opportunity to wear his tuxedo he should do so (this was Frank Sinatra’s preferred solution to the "optional" conundrum)
· if a man fears being mistaken for the wait staff he should opt for a dark suit
· if a man refuses to play this no-win guessing game he should steer clear of the event altogether
One other option we recommend is to take advantage of this rare opportunity to tinker with proper black tie and pull together an ensemble that is a practical compromise between Black Tie and Business Attire such as a notched lapel tuxedo with a black four-in-hand tie. (See Contemporary Black Tie for more information.)
Black Tie Optional
Black Tie Optional (or Black Tie Invited) allows hosts to suggest that men wear tuxedos but not to insist on it. This code is often employed in the context of large gatherings of civic or business groups, such as a dinner sponsored by a chamber of commerce.
The reality, though, is that this dress code is basically the formal equivalent of “business casual”: an attempt to please everyone that ultimately benefits no-one. As Canadian fashion columnist Russell Smith explains in Men’s Style, Black Tie Optional is frequently a cop-out used by insecure hosts:
It means that the planners of the party began by envisioning a glittering formal affair, with neatly groomed men in stark black and white as sober backdrops for the dramatic colour and flashes of flesh of the women. And so they wrote “Black Tie” on the invitations - and then immediately had doubts . . . What if this seems too snobby? What if we are excluding those without resources to own a dinner jacket? What if we are insulting the men with beards and Jethro Tull albums who don’t believe in such elitist dress and who may refuse on principle to come to such a stuffy affair?
Consequently, these hesitant hosts deprive men of the reassurance and clarity they seek from a precise dress code, forcing them instead to partake in a no-win guessing game. If the large majority of men decide to wear dinner jackets then the minority who dress in suits may appear inconsiderate and classless. Conversely, if the majority shows up in suits then the minority will likely feel put out.
Smith advises party planners that such anxieties are illogical. Firstly, no guest in this day and age will honestly expect to be barred from a Black Tie party if he can only afford a dark suit. Secondly, the “optional” aspect will be gleefully seized upon by the Jethro Tull brigade (described by Smith “any rock music critics or Canadian novelists who happen to be invited”
as permission to show up in their comfy sweaters thus guaranteeing a motley party instead of the swank affair envisioned by the host. As for the sensitive men who feel that owning a dinner jacket would be vaguely decadent? “Well, if they are opposed to decadent glamour," says Smith, "then they shouldn’t want to attend the party at all.”Guests faced with the frustrating dilemma posed by hosts too tepid to decide between Black Tie and Business Attire should contact the organizers to find out how men have dressed for the event in the past. If this information is not applicable or available then experts offer a number of choices that are perfectly kosher:
· if a man enjoys any opportunity to wear his tuxedo he should do so (this was Frank Sinatra’s preferred solution to the "optional" conundrum)
· if a man fears being mistaken for the wait staff he should opt for a dark suit
· if a man refuses to play this no-win guessing game he should steer clear of the event altogether
One other option we recommend is to take advantage of this rare opportunity to tinker with proper black tie and pull together an ensemble that is a practical compromise between Black Tie and Business Attire such as a notched lapel tuxedo with a black four-in-hand tie. (See Contemporary Black Tie for more information.)
What about a square toe?
Square toe shoes should be destroyed. 
Square toe shoes should be destroyed.
+1, I couldn't agree more. Those belong in the 90s.
No matter what suit you wear, definitely rock that pocket square.
Just some anecdotal evidence: I wore a pocket square to a wedding recently and the amount of compliments I received were amazing. People definitely notice the extra effort.
Sure. Any plain toe should fit the old rule. I think the idea was that brogues (British term most often used for wingtips) was oriiginally a country shoe. And the more broguing on the shoe the more casusal it was.
just my 2 cents, if you're wearing a BLACK suit and white shirt, I would only wear a non-colored tie, so silver, ivory, maybe gold, etc. Not red, blue, etc. Those can work with navy or charcoal, but black is so stark IMO only shades of grey or metals can work WITH it.
And either way, go plain black shoes, like a basic captoe oxford/balmoral, well shined.
And either way, go plain black shoes, like a basic captoe oxford/balmoral, well shined.
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