A Question about Sexual Harassment.

[dpm802]

I work in retail in a department store. This happened to me at work today.

I have one customer, an elderly lady, who's a touchy-feely kind of person. She has put her hand on my chest to read my name tag, touches me on the arm and shoulder quite a bit, rubbed my arm, and keeps feeding me all these sticky-sweet compliments about how smart I am and what a great job I'm doing. Even when she's not touching me, she's standing a little too close and invading my personal space. I've waited on her twice, and the same thing has happened both times. I saw her give one of my co-workers a big hug today.

I'm getting creeped out by this lady.

If I did this to a co-worker, I'd be written up and sent to take a class on proper workplace conduct. If I did it to a customer, I'd be fired in a heartbeat, and deserve to be. But what am I supposed to do when a customer does it to me?

I'm a little reluctant to say anything to my chain-of-command or EEO counselor, because I don't want to generate a paper-trail about this. It will probably look bad on my part, no matter how I present it.

I'm stumped as to how to handle this situation. Anybody have any ideas or helpful comments?

 

[Commander Quan]

Have you tried wearing Veg to work? It will either get better or worse.

 

[mdc]

A customer once patted my backside when I was working at an electronics store. I made sure I added the insurance on that order.

There's a reminder around every corner that we are a slave to the dollar.

 

[dieselfuel79]

Maybe she could be your sugar-mama.

 

[AjaxLepinski]

Aww... everyone deserves to be loved!
Sounds like something from the British comedy, Are You Being Served.
Use a garment like a shield - that will keep her filthy paws off you!

 

[intotheforge]

That is common in some parts of the South. I went in a BBQ place the other day. The waitress came up and hugged me despite the fact that I had never been in there or seen her before. I noticed while eating a marvelous sandwich that she hugs everyone. If she misses one at the door, she goes by their table. I thought it was funny. Of course, I was on the other side of the coin from you. If I was uncomfortable about it, then I had several courses of recourse. You may have none in your situation.

 

[Haggises]

Talk to an older colleague or your direct supervisor. Ask for advice from the more experienced staff how they deal politely with unwanted contact.
You could also try telling the lady to back off. In the most polite terms of course.

As for the "if I was to do that" scenarios....the rules for customers are different than from the staff. The rules for little old ladies are different still. Apples to oranges.

 

[kats]

Speak up! "Maam, Thank you for the compliment, but I'd appreciate it if you did not touch me - it makes me uncomfortable"

 

[Toothpick]

If she makes you feel that uncomfortable (she certainly would me) then I see no harm in:

Bringing the attention to your superiors. If they are any type of "bosses" at all they will handle this situation with tact. There are very strict governmental laws in place for workplace harassment and they are not in place strictly for employee/employee harassment.

I imagine the person at the top of the food chain in your store will be responsible for making contact with this lady and informing her that her actions towards you are not welcome and if she continues to make you feel uncomfortable then she will not be allowed to shop there. In which case law enforcement will get involved and issue her a trespass warning.

There is no reason why a customer should be acting that way. Even if you do not care at all, her actions could make others uncomfortable and that is called indirect harassment which is still construed as harassment and unacceptable.

You should have no fear of bringing this to the attention of your bosses.

 

[Z blade]

Sugar mama. LOL

 

[shuasdad]

We had a "posing posture" that we used when needing to keep someone at arms length. My attempts to describe it were comical, but it certainly worked.

Think of it as putting one foot forward, cross your arms, now swing one arm out in the direction of the offending party. You now have a foot and arm in between them and you. Pivot as needed keeping the extended arm and leg towards them. Gesture about as if in thought with your hand and you get the idea.

As a manager this was useful for keeping others at a distance for a variety of reasons. Angry guest, team member, frisky people or people who just don't understand personal space.

This won't prevent an attack, but it encourages them to back up a little. Might work for your situation.

Retail has it's moments.

 

[Bad Robot]

I come from years of retail management. Bring this up with your direct supervisor or manager. Mentioning it now will give you something to refer back to (creating a paper trail is good in this kind of situation) and may well alert your management to a problem that has been mentioned by others. Customers are customers but that does not mean you have to endure unwanted attention or contact. Your managers should be able to handle this kind of customer (I know I have) and you should not be expected to be uncomfortable in your work environment.

 

[Toothpick]

I come from years of retail management. Bring this up with your direct supervisor or manager. Mentioning it now will give you something to refer back to (creating a paper trail is good in this kind of situation) and may well alert your management to a problem that has been mentioned by others. Customers are customers but that does not mean you have to endure unwanted attention or contact. Your managers should be able to handle this kind of customer (I know I have) and you should not be expected to be uncomfortable in your work environment.

Agreed. 14 years retail, 10 in management myself. I saw it to many times that customers make employees feel uncomfortable either by being angry, snide comments, or sexual innuendoes. And when told about it after the fact my associates always felt like "well it's just part of the job" or "the customer is always right". Well I don't subscribe to that when it becomes personal.

I actually enjoyed dealing with the rude, crazy, or just odd customers.

 

[life2short1971]

Is she the close talker?

 

[Mick]

Does she interact with all of the other employees the same way?

Does she interact with the customers the same way?

 

[totorlekiller]

Well, I've been hit on by other guys, which does make me feel uncomfortable (I live in SF), but hey and old lady...
Come on. You are not going to get raped.
So, I'd say just smile on. If hitting on younger man makes her day. Let her have it.
And think about yourself going into a store 20 years from now and you get a bit too close to a cute saleswoman and she just smiles at you. That make your day.

 

[cb91710]

"The customer is not always right, but the customer is always the customer."

Offend her, and no telling what she'll say to your manager.

BUT.... do speak to your manager about it and let him/her handle it.
Your manager needs to be aware of the situation.

 

[Alphonse]

"I saw her give one of my co-workers a big hug today"... what is this world coming to!!!???

She's old.. deal with it and move on.. no offense

 

[Larry C in Texas]

Have you tried wearing Veg to work? It will either get better or worse.

Line of the month!! I appreciate it, Commander Quan, even if no one else does.

I think you just need to 1) ascertain her net worth, 2) if this amount is over $1M, give her my phone number and tell her she can paw me all she wants.

I worked in retail back in the 70's, and my biggest worrry wasn't customers touching me. It was staying awake in the afternoon after our customary 3 beer and a steak lunch. Ah, those were the days.

 

[ouch]

She wants you.